Words of Wisdom
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Chuck Norris uses ribbed condoms inside out, so he gets the pleasure.
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
Chuck Norris only masturbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month, Chuck Norris always wins.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.