I AM SOOOOOO BOOOOOOORED!
If there is anyone out there, near High Wycombe, Buckinghamshire, please please contact me, I am dying of boredom...If you are a girl who loves all that pink girly sh*t I'd suggest you stop reading right here and click to another profile (bye bye)...I don't care if you are male or female...but you should be over 23 not older than 33...hmnn...I haven't met anyone here yet, and for me it is usually not a problem to get to know other people, but...alright..then I'll tell you about my interests...I am starting studying Video Production in Spetember, so obviously I am interested in that, I love everything that has to do with creative stuff, painting, music, film, name it, sports (ha, but there are not even mountains in High Wycombe, just a dry ski slope that ruins your board), yeah, and if anyone wants to go to the Snow Dome here, please tell me! I'd love to join you. Ehm, let me think...yeah, it would be nice if you were someone to talk to as well, you know, I don't really fancy all this wannabe cool talking and going out and get drunk sh*t...I am passed that stage already! Which doesn't mean I don't like to laugh, in fact I love it, but be prepared for loads of sarcasm, which will only mean that I like you!
I would have never believed that I'll be so desperate to write this!
So, drop me a line.
Later
Time for another entry  .
Hmnn...let's see...ah yeah, it is raining here...what a surprise
Right.
So.
Eh.
Is there anything interesting to tell? Maybe.
Did you know that here in the UK you get quarterly inspections in a rentet place? How stupid is that? Which means I was quite busy yesterday to sort out the curtains....haa...now what does that mean? I'll tell you. In England it seems to be "forbidden" (at least most contracts say so) to drill any holes in the wall (which means I can't even put up a nice pic or painting), to put any kind of poster on the wall, no lamp shades, no curtains (not YOURS)...There were those ugly, very very ugly curtains in this place when we moved in. They stank and they look aweful. So, of course, I removed them and replaced them with nice looking IKEA curtains. Yellow and green in the living room which made it look a lot nicer as the wall paper is already horrible enough, dark blue in the bed room which also goes a lot better with the purple (really not my favourite colour) wall, and a very nice dark red in my study room, which fits perfectly to my black and red decoration accessoirs. But who cares? Surely not our landlord. So, I was quite in shock when I heard that they really want to come around for an inspection...holy crap! I thought I'd better wash the old curtains and then hang them up, I wasn't quite sure as it said "JONELLE made in Great Britain, 100% cotton, do not wash, warm iron, dry clean only". My boyfriend and I decided though that it should be fine. "Hey it is cotton, what should go wrong?!". Hmnn, It actually turned out to be ok but the curtains were very very crinkly. I ironed them...but you can still see it. I really hope noone will notice it.
Then I removed all the posters, our hallway looks very "flavourless" now. I removed the kinda nice looking lamp shades that had an indian style or something, I think they looked very nice. Now, there are only the blank light bulbs. It looks terrible and cold. This place is really frustrating. Now I understand why even young people over here have depths in the bank and buy their own house.
More next time... 
2005/4/25
Hurray! It's my birthday today! And it is raining, in all these years it hasn't been raining once on my birthday, in fact, I've always had quite good weather, BUT as I am here in England it is really no surprise that it rains today.
25? Does it sound old to you? To me? I don't know. I think 25 isn't that bad, it is not old, BUT it seems like I can't quite remember what happend between the age of 24 and 25, it was so quick, and I persume that the years will pass by even quicker each year now. Well, what can I do? Probably nothing. At least I try: as a "self-present" I bought myself a book today, it is a yoga book. Do you think that will help me? I don't know, but it said something about "feel and look young"...so I got it right away. When I came home I realized that this stuff is kinda difficult and it will pobably take me a while to bend my body like that...but I will try.
But the weird thing after all is that it actually doesn't feel like my birthday today at all. When I was younger it meant a lot more to me. I pratically, rahter indirectly forced two people already today to wish me happy birthday, just to see if I could get into the mood. And they didn't even knew me. It was one guy selling some kinda credit card, it turned out that I am not qualified to have one and neither a bank account as I haven't been living here for more than 2 years, England really sucks in this case. He thought I was American due to my accent, he didn't know that I actually did it on purpose (I normally have a BE accent) but I simply said "my tacher was American"...anyway, don't know why I said that or why I changed my accent. Then he asked me about my age...he thought I was 18, I should have been flattered, but I wasn't. So, I told him I am 25, TODAY!!!! ANd he said "HAPPY BIRTHDAY Darling" (I don'T get this all "Darling" "Love" and "Dear" business here anyway). And the other person was a girl who tried to get some funds or whatever for children in the Third World...it was an interesting conversation, we got to the point when we started talking about the weather (hmn..weird normally that always comes at the beginning)...anyways, I told her that I am sad that it has to rain today as it is my birthday...TATA...then she said "oh really, oh, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"...It was nice but I still didn'T feel as if it was my birthday. And to be honest, I actually don't really care about the weather either! 
To smoke or not to smoke, that is the question!
hello hello, a new journal entry, yaaawn, I am not that frisky today, had a very bad nights sleep. I think it was cause of this nicotine patch. Yes, I am trying to quit smoking since yesteday 4 pm, but I am really not sure if it works. At night I had the feeling that this patch would still emit nicotine, which was really stupid as I need sleep and no nicotine to get some rest. So, either it was just a contingency or this patch really emits nicotine at night. And what happens now? I really really really want to have a cigarette, there'S probably no nicotine left in the patch cause of last night, I have put on the next one in about an hour...I don't know if it is maybe also the thought that you are not allowed to smoke a cigarette while you are wearing a patch, cause then you may get some problems with overdoses...and I surely don't want that...or does it really help my body to get rid if this terrible craving for a cigarette? Well, if so I wouldn't want one now, don't you think. Well, I promised my boyfriend to try the patches as it worked for him when he quit smoking a year ago. Hmnn...what do you think would happen if I just take off the patch, have a cigarette, and then put on a new one? Would that be very silly? I guess so, as I didn't smoke now for 23 hours, and that is quite a while for a smoker I'd suppose. I would have never thought that smoking would be an issue for me as I hated it when other people smoke (when I was a child). My mother didn't actually smoke, she just had a few when we were on our vacation and she sat down in a cafe with my Aunt in Turkey, but even then I can remember one scenario when I thought that this is so wrong that I just grabbed her cigarette and broke it into to, and then did it with all the other cigarettes as well...yes, that wasn't nice of me.
All this talking about a cigarette really makes me want one. But no, I'll be strong...:P, easier said than done, Even if you think about it logically it doesn't really help...I mean there are loads of reasons why you shouldn't smoke or why you shuld stop smoking. 1. one personal thing I don't wanna tell right now cause it is too...personal..anyway 2. I would save a lot of money 3. my lungs!!! 4. I wouldn't risk to die earlier and be there for my kids longer....yeah anyway, there are loads of reasons. But why is it still so hard. Isn't that sad. Maybe I will stop smoking now but I've already notice that I start replacing my bad habbit with another bad habbit....eating...eating is not a bad habbit, unless you do it when you are not hungry. So, I may have healthy lungs then, but my colesterole will be enormous or what? And then I end up trying out every diet there is, gaining more and more weight...ah, I better don't think about it. It probably won't be that bad. Chewing Gum! Wait, I'll get a chewing gum!... that's a bit better.
Monday, February 28, 2005
oki doki guys, I think it 's time for a new Journal Entry. Eehh...uhm...the worst part of a Journal Entry is when you...don't really know what you should write, though you've got loads of things to say.
Well, I am more and more getting used to English weather, wall papers and blue carpets, but there is one thing I will never be able to deal with: their (English girls and women) fetish for pink clothes, fingernails, handbags and all kinds of accessories. England is also the land of cards. You send each other cards for all occasions. In a card shop you also have two sections: one is for men (preferably in blue) and one for women (in pink, of course). Well, except on Valentine's Day you'll find pink and also some red tones for all gender.
Organic food (Alles total Bio!) is a big trend. I am advertising for frozen baby food in a big supermarket at the moment and the most favourite question that mothers ask is "Is it organic?". Also food that don't contain any meat products or whatever is indicated with a "V", which obviously stands for Vegetarian, you'll find that even on menues in restuarants and pubs.
Taling about the big supermarket. We always buy at ASDA as it is the closest one and not too expensive (that's also the supermarket where I advertise for the baby food). Last week I saw a sign that said that they can only sell you alcohol between the hours of 8am and 11 pm! Oh, I may have to add that it is a 24 hours store. So, let's say, you are at home, it is 11 pm, and you think it would be so nice to have a beer with the movie you are about to watch in 15 mins...you'll go to ASDA, grap a tin (btw you get different sizes: 440 ml, 500 ml and 568 ml) and they tell you they can't sell you the beer cause it's past 11 pm, duh!!!
Anyway, that's it for today...gotta go now. later
Wednesday, February 09, 2005
I've been here in England now for a week, it hasn't been raining since then but it also hasn't been sunny...well, and there are no mountains either. In general, everything seems to be a bit different here. Not only the plugs and cars, but also people. English girls and women seem to love the colour pink. English people are certainly no handshakers. They pretend to be behaved but as soon as they start drinking all their suppressed (sexual) emotions seem to break through. And I still don't understand the system of their two way taps (one for really hot and one for icy cold). That's something we had long time ago...They love blue carpets, they love carpets all the way, even in the bathroom! I think there is no other European country in which wall paper is sold as good as it is here in the UK.
Oh, by the way, if you want to watch some nice English comedy than you have to watch LITTLE BRITAIN! If you see it: there is this girl Vicki and believe it or not, but girls like that really exsist here in the UK, I couldn't believe it either!
Wednesday, December 01, 2004
Damn it!
Went to the dentist, had breakfast before cause I knew I wouldn't be allowed to eat anything afterwards. Now guess what? I AM STARVING! Yep, that is my biggest problem at the moment. Not being able to eat when you are really really hungry is like....an urgent need of farting but you are not allowed to, or like wanting to sleep so badly but you are not allowed to, or like having the feeling your bladder is really close to explode but you are not allowed to go to the loo...yes, that's how it feels...and it was even worse when I was on my way to uni as I made the biggest mistake and went through the oldtown. Oldtown at this time of the year means Christmas fair. And that again means loads of cookies and stuff like that....very very bad!!! If only I had something to take off my worries of my mind...but...I am here, in the library, waiting for my lesson to start, and I know what will happen at around 4 pm: I will sit in class and will think "damn another 30 minutes and then I can go home...wow, wait, I could actually eat somthing now, the dentist said I have to wait two hours...oh no..." and then I will sit there totally devastated, watching the wall clock that makes tick tick tick...and it's going to be the longest, everlasting, neverending 30 minutes of the day, maybe even of the week, of my life ...
Tuesday, November 02, 2004
 why? why why? Today I got up bright and early in the morning. It was pissing outside, but no, I didn't take the bus, I thought I take the bike. So I went to uni...EARLY IN THE MORNING, oh and I want to mention that I was really tired, and what did I find there? NOTHING! There was f*cking nobody.
Yes, we had a day off today! And I was there, all alone, early in the morning, wet from the rain.
why why why?
damn 4 am! But there are things in life you don't want to miss, such as good talks. Thanks Mister X ;)! But I think I have to climb up that mountain on my own. If it just wasn't a imaginary mountain, I would try and win in the lottery and would ask the community to built a f*cking lift. Haha, but I think that would be to easy, not the winning in the lottery though. Yeah, life and its lessons. Gee.
Sleep well everybody or have a nice day.
Oh and something to CHECK OUT :
http://www.diesymphony.com/
They've got some nice stuff.
Saturday, August 21, 2004
ok, weather talk. It is cold, rainy, but not windy. But hey, that is my first opportunity to wear my new snowboard.com hoody. Did you know that it cost f*ckin' 17 Euros to pay for the customs  !?! But it was worth it. And did you know that S is still quite big. Guess it was desigend for the boys here. No worries.
Eh, and my sweetey had to go to Poland today. hmnn...well, I try to see it positivly. I can spend the weekend studying Spanish, yay!
I am quite  now. Righty, I am off to bed for an hour or so. bye bye
Thursday, August 12, 2004
Hmmnnnn....Thursday, he?! Ah well, I know I should learn some Spanish now but hey!...it is too god damn hot outside and I am not even in Spain yet. Have you ever realised that there are these kind of poeple who complain about any weather? In Summer they go "oh oh, ooohh....it is toooo hot!", and in winter "brrr....damn it is too cold!". Seems like they don't like any season. Whatever, I have to admit that I actually like winter more than summer, which dosen't mean that I don't like the summer....gee, you know what I mean. And do you get the same after a shower in summer? It doesn't matter if you take a cold or a warm shower you always seem to sweat more afterwards than before...hmnn...maybe I use the wrong shampoo or something.
Well, maybe tomorrow I'll get more depth to my journals but for now this should be enough. Cause it is too hot today, haha! Whatever.
Wednesday, August 11, 2004
Thank you so much, Ian! Too often? Well, I say it again...THANK YOU for making me core member.
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