old AGE
an elderly man and his son stand on his driveway, arguing. the son wishes to have his father placed in a nursing home while his father would rather get a labotamy operation. the son some-how convinces him to get into the car, and they proceed to the nursing home.
when they arrive, the son is amazed at the magnificance of the home. everything is sparkling clean. they are lead on a tour throughout the building and it's surroundings all of which the old man exclaimed he could do without. soon they arrived at the mans room, where they were left alone. the old man pleaded with his son, "please don't leave me in this dump. everyone here is dying!"
"i just have no choice dad", his son responded. "Just give it a try for a couple of days and if you still hate it, we'll look elsewhere alright?" he said.
"uh, i guess", the dad said hesitantly.
so the son takes off and tells his dad to call if anything happens.
well that night, a younger and volumptous nurse strolls into his room and announces that it's time for his bubble bath.
hearing this, the old guy nearly lands on his face jumping out of bed. he then is lead by hand to the bathroom. he's in the bath gettin scrubbed
when he pops a lil' bonner. the young nurse looks at it for a while, then up at the mans lonely eyes. 'this is probably the last hard-on he'll ever get' she thinks. in a moments notice, she's stripped off her clothes, on top and ridding him for the full count.
he's huffen' and puffen' and grinning ear to ear till he comes, three minutes later. then, she takes him out of the tub, helps dry him off, lays him down in his bed and leaves. soon thereafter, late that night he calls his son.
"son, thank you for bringing me here! i never want to leave!" he says.
astonished, his son says,"damn that was fast dad. i new you'd come around. sleep well and i'll see you in a couple of days."
they hang up and both go to sleep.
the next day, the old man's feeling a lil' friskey from the bathtub insident, so he leaves his walker in his room and heads for the mess hall. about a quarter of the way there, he looses his balance and falls forward, landing flat on his nose. with his ass in the air, and nobody around, he is stuck. soon a big ol' orderly comes across this pitiful sight. the orderly rips the mans pajamas and undies off and proceedes to anally penatrate the old man until satisfied.
he left the old man laying in a puddle of sh*t, piss and blood right smack in the middle of the hallway. after coming to, the old man drags his fu*ked ass to his room and calls his son.
"my son, god i'm glad you are awake!" he exalts. "you've got to get me out of this place."
kind of curious, the son asks,"dad whats the deal. last night you said that you never wanted to leave and you thanked me for taking you there. whats wrong?"
the dad replies, "well i get a woody maybe once-maybe twice a year."
"thats what you called me for, whats wrong with you?", his son says.
his dad replies,"yeah well i fall down three times a day!"
The enD
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