Poems

Lavish!  Secure and indiscreet oh so should I swear upon my right hand and declare such utterances that liven gray souls?  Shout out and look the other way and swear that ever song sung is dedicated to you in such a delusional way and in such a nervous way, sleeping swoon like and nervous and savagely I remain here!  I shall pick apart your skin from bone and answer such honest questions with dishonest answers cause I am attempting to disguise my imperfections, it isn't so easy I swear and muses are so few and far between but so are golden girls and loving lips and so are good friends and boundless adventure.  This is our terror and it's spreading on down toward our thighs but stopping at the parts that we cannot control, it's a wreck and my eyes are growing bigger and my hands are aching and my body shakes and my breath it quivers.  Who is solace and who owns a soul?  Who is my master?  Who owns my soul?  I wish we could be like kittens and just lay beside our mother and rest our weary heads.  I dream of us going to Fort Wayne to attend a funeral of someone I barely knew but you knew so well, I'd sit there watching people cry and thinking about flowers while men in nice costumes move caskets into pretty hearses, shouting prayers and deactivating in such a lascivious manner, making something so sacred so crude is beyond disheartening.  Gray liberty, boring liberty.  Freedom is actually free, so don't act so surprised, we had it all when we were born now the world has stripped us naked and left us on our own.  Who is going to consume the dead bodies and not let them go to waste as skeletons spread like wild fire and laughter becomes so endangered?  Is my life a sort of testament to other awful distasteful truths?  Am I a soul without agreement or a ceaseless cacophony of undesirable swill and indistinguishable agonies?  I say no!  NO!  I make a lousy savior but I make a sour lover, it's all understood between two good friends and no good lovers.  Do you see the horses in the white area between the words?  Do they stare out and beg for liberation?  Can we face liberation in such a way that is impossible to improve on?  I wish I could sleep for three years and live a decade in a dream, waking up so refreshed with a silly smile on my face.  From such unbelievable lows to such surprising highs I can't believe that they murder people who stand up for us... I can't believe they just let everyone die just as long as they have theirs and their family gets the rest... I want a peace inside of a sweet soul that knows not evil and does not even attempt to know.  I want a smile of gratitude for being so lively and well thought out.  I am underestimating everyone!  Wolves are friends of mine, this pack will not die in vain.  I am a man and in no way a god, just a breathing thing that knows not what he does.

Distress oh distress!  Sneer so sly in your red lipstick it's unnerving and this "I am God" complex is getting to my head and it's impressive how sweet young girls can be even though you're oh so many years their senior.  Are you heir to this smoking black lung, are you a god or a demi-god?  I am here to dispel distress and sadden up such a frivolous landscape filled with dream headed hope transmitters, you understand the complex corralation between transfixed anti gravity movements and utter destroyal units?  It's totally understandable if you don't want to be friends or cuddle I can survive on rations of rat poison and utterly dismal tasting cheese, headaches for head aces, you can die slowly upon that cross you nailed up good friend and opine to us all on the greatness of life's lesser known dieties.  Shed that skin and get as naked as you can possibly get until we know your insides so well.  It's disgust practice, we need to be seasoned so well when we feign utter denial and utter distrust.  This is a floating head that disagrees with everything forever forgetting that fresh, sharp, ultra show kids own the night.  This is an all encompassing illness that wraps arms around my hips like a foelorn lover hopelessly sucking air from my parted lips, clap you arms and then freeze them into a prayer position so we can look pious as the laughter dies down and the sharp kids know like knives how the sky does rain down some sort of apathy that affects the unaffected that is a fashion away from classic in a way.  To burst open.  To suckle from such a hopeless teet!  There is no way you can feel this empty head and make me believe in such broken things, alturistic and untrusting also think also dancing and there is a rush for us, there is a destiny for all to live into.  Throngs and scores of masses teaming toward mutually assured utter disposal.  When it rains it pours and your soul is so open for all of us to see and enjoy as if it is a portrait or somebody who we havent' seen and was not expecting.  Utterly tangled up in entrails and hopelessly I flail as I attempt to catch a balance, I am shifty and aimless.  Sometimes we view out toward the sky and I imagine lovers gathering before us and dancing like sirens letting out songs and electrifying the green sky, it's envious so envious, distracting young girls god bless them I am here for you sweet sister!  As the lovers dance know that I am here for you!  This is an ungodly enviroment for such a lively soul!  Lovers turn into birds and I am aghast in a non so subtle way that even my own imagination betrays me and deprives me of such beauty.  This souless mind it's eyes cast toward the greedy cellular towers and pay phones and it boasts that it's the only thing that will never become obsolete.  I prayer for better things on knees begging a great god in heaven to bestow so many blessings, like me and you.  You tell me watch the sky as the stars emit passion from out of thier voidless mouths, I stay transfixed and imagine how many ponytails it took you to get here... Everyday I suffer for my salvation and everyday I commit such ghastly blasphemies!  Oh dear saints!  Is there a way to avoid hell?  I could reach for your hand, we could cuddle and swoon, oh lord!  There is a sky there out there were it's too far beyond and it's so unsacred and it's really scary.  In a day they'll hang us all from the high sky lights, oh romance!  There is another thing that isn't terrible, it's your eyes.  It's the ultimate destroyer who also is a lover.  It's a sleepy god, he won't awake for me.

Streaming along in a Summer sky, it's such a drag.  I suppose you could be a kite or a towel, you are so crude sometimes, I'm so distasteful too... I suppose they could lay us down and pour the hot tar all over us, I don't care how bad the skin burns as it sears and sticks so, I have a history filled of such inanities such a hunger for martyrdom!  You can spread open like two legs from the eyes to the mouth,  I guess I'd f*ck your face then.  you can't breath now, cause it's too humid I swear I sweat every drop of ever evil thought I've ever had and it comes out of my pores like oil, it's a sad thing though.  I wish you'd kiss me so what?  Should we shudder at such thoughts?  Tied to you like apron strings across your infernal be speckled navel!  Who is your lord today?  That cross on your arm is it suppose to remind us all of this promise you made, between you and I to stay so sly and so radical, it's a sorta love of irony that makes me salivate so heavily.  Symbols bear down so overtly and yes sweet child we can't drift here, this river is too wind tossed to be braved.  She smiles so sweet.  I hate the sands and the sweat, the humid air that hangs around my neck like a noose, oh dear I suppose I could imagine you and I, on my cousin's couch with tongues in between respective cheeks.  We'd watch movies all night that aren't that great so we don't have to focus on a meaning or how we relate, just something to keep me from staring at you something to grab my attention.  It was so cool down there I remember.  I wish we did not all quit life, we became wasted and discarded.  Sincerity sensation.  Whatever.

You've been trying hard to change me,
You don't see how much it hurts.
And everything I say to you,
Just seems to make things worse.
I only want to be with you,
And I just wish that you could see,
How much I love as you are,
Can't you do the same for me?
I'm trying hard to compromise,
And I'll do the best I can.
The only thing I ask of you,
Is to love me as I am.

He took me for a fool and he shattered my heart,
He stole my whole world and he tore it apart.
After all the crying and after all the pain,
I swore to myself I'd never love again.
But then you came walking through my door,
And showed me how to love once more.
You helped my broken heart to mend,
Much more than a lover, you are my friend.
You put my torn world back together,
And as long as you'll have me I'll be yours forever.

True love springs eternal,
And will never fade away.
My soul survives on just the hope,
That you'll return to me someday.
I pray that you can understand,
I only need some time.
And as soon as I am ready,
I hope you'll still be mine.
I love you as I've never loved,
That you must surely see.
And if you love as I love,
I know you'll wait for me.

Free from the nest and unsure of what to do,
I fall steady, spiraling, fast, and confused.
In need of your guidence, your comforting touch,
Not realizing till your gone that I need you so much.
Standing alone, unsteady, unstrong,
Perhaps I've leaned upon you for far to long.
I realize for the first time what it means to be grown,
And I am filled with terror at the thought of being on my own.
No one to cry to when life is unfair,
No one to hold me no one to care.
No one to tell me it'll all be all right ,
And only myself to chase the monsters from the night.

You swore that you'd love me
Till death do us part,
But each day that passes
You kill a piece of my heart.
I said "I do" as I cried,
How was I to know,
That I would come to regret it,
When you let your true colors show.
Trapped in this union
Of bitterness and pain,
I've everything to lose,
But nothing to gain.
But I'm stronger than you think,
And much braver than you know,
I've packed up my things
And I'm ready to go.
I don't know where life will take me,
Or how I'll make it through.
The only thing I know is,
I can do it without you.