CANT WAIT IM GOING NIGHT RIDEN THIS SAT WITH DEVON ITS GONNA BE TIGHT!!!!!!

XOXO,

JAMIE

 

 My life sure isnt what it used to be... I am going threw a hard time right now I feel like I am struggling to just stay above the water. I dont want to be sufficated any longer. I am trying so hard just to be on top of things that it makes my life a living hell. I want to just give up. It feels like that it would be the easy way out, and thats what I am looking for. I am struggling with substance abuse and I am confronted with it every single day of my life. I am only 17 I shouldnt have to be dealing with all of this pain and hurt in my life. I no longer living my faimly anymore. I used to live in Montana with my Aunt Kathy, I was with her since I was 5yrs to 16yrs she became my mother. I was forced to go live with my real mother about a year ago cause of issues far from my grasp to take care of. My real mother has no sence of reality. I never wanted to live with her. I didnt know her at all. Her and I never have gotten along in the past so why should we now? Well we didnt work out she gave up custody of me to the state so now I live in a foster home. Dont get me wrong I like it there, but I miss my family very much so. I havnt seen my Aunt Kathy in over a year. She has been my support as much as she can be from a distance. I lost everything when I moved to Utah,friends family  freedom my life.

Once I knew a boy with tattooed hands. This boy was a virgin that nobody understood or gave a damn. He lived above me in a one bedroom apartment. He left every morning he left around the same time and came home around the same time. I never have spoken to him before, but yet he was right in front of me. He was very handsome and charming. He was like a greek god. I saw on his hands there were angels and their wings. He touched my face so softly. his hands crept oh so gently lower on my body. I saw the angels take flight, as they follow his hands as he felt lower an lower against my tingling body. I started to feel my blood pump harder and harder it was alomost over taking my sences. My body started to shake, but his hands I could still see, but the angels were no where insight.