Its where everyone wants to go to escape the pressures and frantics pace of life.
But where is the lake?
Its not so much a location as a state of mind.
Do you know when you have arrived at the lake?
When you feel the cares of the world begin to slip away.
When you begin to breathe a little easier because the air seems purer.
When you notice the sky is bluer, the stars are brighter,
And the pines are taller and people smile alot more.
Then you know, your at the lake
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Published by lakia: 2:11 AM
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A toast to the homeboys that soften your girls guts
say man she said she broke up with you last week
now your trippin cuz your chicken went out and passed cheeks
and got a fast leak from Tecca Nina Katrina
nows she right up in mi cocino while your ass sleeps
how'd I take her from you?
it's because your girly girly know I earn somethin
now I got them legs over my shoulders
holdin my soldier swollen I cant hold my composure
and when I come to town, your woman come around
and plenty of fun is found when i give her some of the clown
the Kansas City style got her yellin "just give me now"
you dont wanna do the sound cuz i'm doin bout 20 rounds
she knows you barely make it, we got crazy cash
on the movie set me and my homie Baby Bash
got your girl waitin to get her world shakin
at the Grand American givin your girl spankins
cuz she's a bad gal she said she needs a release
so shes greated with beats now she's no longer sad now
I'm with your wifey
cuz she says I make her feel wanted
and by the way she never met nobody like me
at the Graft and laugh makin her stare at things
got your hottie naughty when she drinkin them Cara B's
at Kidd Rocks and I'm off in a booth with Tara Read
Tecca Nina is not a coward, I'll jump in the shower
and bumpity bumb that rock girl if you doubt her
ask freaky Adina Howard about her
she know we scorpios lovin to hit it for hours
I see you mad at me, but my nads happy
cuz you loosin and now you wanna take a stab at me
she hangin wit me cuz your foul
and I'm at the 4 seasons takin her to eat Tao
thats T.A.O when I see a hoe
she's hooked when I let the instant replay go
she's bear now everyone's there throwin wood at it
man this musics so unfare if your good at it
come with us women its so fun with us under the sun with us
from dawn til dusk imma give her the love that make her wanna say hummdawala
praisin this craziness in Vegas when I get up on the stage it's outragous
Mandaly Bay ??
everybody gets laid to this
I appologize if your heart broken
keep a spark smokin once the Ninna starts scopin
she'll lie to you and wont blink
when it come to Tecca Ninna bein wit your lady dont think
Tech Nine
 
 
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Published by lakia: 10:39 PM
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BEFORE:
AFTER:
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Published by lakia: 5:14 PM
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1. When she asks how she looks, shrug and say "could be better." This will keep her on her toes, and girls love that.
2. Never hold her hand. This can be interpreted as a sign of weakness. If she grabs your hand, squeeze hers really hard until she cries (this will impress her by showing her what a strong man you are).
3. Once a month, sneak up on her from behind and knock her over. Girls are like dogs; they love to be roughed up.
4. Call her in the middle of the night to ask if she's sleeping. If she is, say "you better be." Repeat this 4 or 5 times until morning. This will show her you care.
5. When she is upset about something, suggest to her that it might be her fault. This will pave the way for her own personal improvement, and every girl needs some improvement.
6. Recognize the small things, as they usually mean the most. Then when she's sleeping, steal all her small things and break them, because jewelry is for pussies and Asian ladies.
7. If you're talking to another girl, make sure she's looking. When she is, stare into her eyes, mouth the words "f~ck you" and grab the other girl's ass. Girls love competition.
8. Tell her you're taking her out to dinner. Drive for miles so she thinks it's going to be really special. Then take her to a burning tire yard. When she starts to get upset, tell her you were just kidding and now you're really going to take her to dinner. Then drive her home. When she starts crying and asks why you would do something like that, lean over and whisper very quietly into her ear "...because I can."
9. Introduce her to your friends as "some chick." Women love those special nicknames.
10. Play with her hair. Play with it HARD.
11. Warm her up when she's cold...and not by giving her your jacket, because then you might get cold. Rather, look her in the eye and say "if you don't stop bitching about the cold right now, you're going to be bitching about a black eye." The best way to get warm is with fear.
12. Take her to a party. When you get there, she'll have to go to the bathroom (they always do). Leave immediately. Come back right when the party is dying and yell at her the whole way home for ditching you all night.
13. Make her laugh. A good way to do this is if she has a small pet. Kick the pet. I always find stuff like that funny...why shouldn't girls?
14. Let her fall asleep in your arms. When she's fast asleep, wait 10 minutes, then jump up and scream in her ear. Repeat until she goes home and you can use your arms for more important things (like basketball).
15. Spit often. I hear girls like guys that spit.
16. If you care about her, never ever tell her. This will only give her self-confidence, then you can never turn her into the object she deep down desires to be.
17. Every time you're in her house, steal one of her shoes, earrings or anything else that comes in pairs. Only take one of the pair. This way, she'll go crazy.
18. Take her out to dinner. Right when she's about to order, interrupt and say "no, she's not hungry." Make her watch you eat. Girls love a guy that speaks for her.
19. Look her in the eyes and smile. Then punch her in the face. Girls love a spontaneous guy.
20. Give her one of your t-shirts, and make sure it has your smell on it (but not a sexy cologne smell...a bad smell. You know what I'm talking about).
21. When it's raining, keep asking her if she's crying. She'll say "no, it's just the rain." Ten minutes later, turn to her and just scream at her to stop crying. Girls like a tough man.
22. Titty twisters and plenty of them.
23. If you're listening to music, and she asks to hear it, tell her no. This way she'll think you're mysterious.
24. Remember her birthday, but don't get her anything. Teach her that material objects arent important. The only thing that's important is that she keeps you happy, and your happiness is the greatest present she can ever get.
25. When she gives you a present on your birthday, Christmas or just whenever, take it and tell her you love it. Then, next time you know she's coming over on a trash day, leave the trash can open and have the present visibly sticking out of the can. Girls actually don't like this one that much, but I think it's funny.
26. If she's mad at you for not calling her when you say you will, promise her that you will call her at a certain time of the day. This will make sure that she waits by the phone. Tell her when you call that you're going to tell her a special surprise. Now she'll be really excited. Don't call.
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Published by lakia: 5:36 PM
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So the other weekend we all had quit the adventure. I just now got some of the pictures on my comp.
It started out with Barry and I driving from spokane to WSU (Washington State University, 80 miles there, 80 miles back) so we could party with some friends we hadnt seen in forever. All around it was the typical night at WSU. Meet up with a bunch of friends at a house party, beer bong some busch light, walk to the bars, pound some more busch light, and then i had some black dude explain to me how he was my forefather, which i found extremely funny, and he didnt like that i was laughing at him for it, i dont really remember what happened other than him yelling at me cause i was laughing at him.
So we get into town and its dumping snow. Well we all get this killer idea to go to priest lake, party there for the night, sleep at the cabins that have no power, and get up at the butt crack of dawn and go snowboarding at schweitzer.
So we drive to the lake (90 miles from spokane, to the resort, to the cabin) party our asses off, and drive to the cabin. Pat and i just noticed that the entire lake , as far as we can see is frozen completely solid. So we start walking on the lake, it was pretty creepy, but awesome all at the same time.
We get up in the morning and drive to schweitzer (65 miles from the cabin). This is the view from the cabin, one is summer time, one is the other weekend, its really awesome.
View from the deck during summer: 
View from the deck during winter with entire lake frozen:
This is a very small portion of the lake. Its 23 miles long, and its all frozen, they dont think it will be completely open till june, haha, so crazy.
Anyhow, getting to this cabin was a ton of fun. Luckily they had plowed the country road for once in its exsistence, so my car some what made it. We were plowin snow the whole way there pretty much, it was a ton of fun.
The road:
My car after the battle with the road:
Snowboarding slayed, killer snow, deep, fun, steep, amazing days. So next time around, some of you bastards come join us and lets have some fun in the killer PNW!
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Published by lakia: 7:17 PM
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I got fired the other day from my crappy job and im totally stoked about it. Seriously, now i get unemployment for getting fired from a company that generally licks balls. Who wants to come down and party with mne?! HUH?! HUH!?!!!
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Published by lakia: 8:58 PM
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Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Well. The other day a man told me "if you lose 40 pounds by telus i will buy you a beer".
So as i sat there thinking, what better reason to get slim, trimmed, and lose a little weight around my mid section and make my weener look bigger than for the sake of free beer?
See, the years of consuming copious amounts of busch light, natty light, coors light, bud light, alaskan amber, guinness (hell what the hell am i doing mentioning classy beer?) KEYSTONE ICE, Icehouse, mickeys, mad dog 20/20, and the one case of wild cat FORTE! have caught up to me.
Goal is to hit 195 by april. So here's to no more drinkin. And to eating chicken, hippy food, and going to the gym.
The fat man shall now become skinny.
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Published by lakia: 9:46 PM
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Sunday, February 11, 2007
February 9th, 2006, i buried my grandpa next to my grandma in Gooding, Idaho. Elmer Meyer was born Nov. 23, 1915 and passed away Feb. 4, 2007. To say Elmer was a good man is an understatement. Where ever he went he made good friends. Everyone knew him, to this day walking around twin falls idaho everyone knew him. He loved life, lived for his family, was known for his sense of humor,and taught all of us valuable lessons, shared his wisdom, and no one ever heard him say anything negative. He never critcized any one of us. As a matter of fact, when all of us cousins were sitting around the other night drinking McAllens on the rocks and sharing stories we all realized that he always said one thing to us, no matter what we wanted to do, he always would say "thats real good". His gift was corroboration. So long as we werent going off the deepend he would always stand behind us, share his wisdom, and lift up the fact that we wanted to accomplish our dreams. Every single one of us proud to have had him as the man that started our family, that his blood flows in our veins, and that we got to have such a long time with him at the head of our family. Grandpa died with 1 son and 3 daughters, 10 grand children, and 11 great grand children. It was the greatest honor of my life to be one of his pall bearers. Here's to Elmer Meyer! Cheers.
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Published by lakia: 2:59 PM
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I ust got home from Twin Falls (a city about an hour and a half south of boise) where my grandpa is in the ICU right now. He is 91. Had surgery last monday on his digestive tract. I left the other day and flew down there to be with him and my family. He was ok for a couple of days, then he started slipping, he couldnt breath well and his lungs were filling with fluid and he was having heart problems. I finally got my nerves together and went in to see him last night, and it was the hardest thing i have ever done. I have never felt so much sorrow, and have been so proud at the same time. It was the first time in years i couldnt talk. I just sat there, choked out the words i love you to him, and he wrote out some stuff for me (they were doing things to his lungs prior to me going in so he couldnt talk). Im still not right from it. Im not used to crying. Grandpa is 91, i have learned a great deal from him. From his wisdom, to all of the history he has bore witness too, to his compassion and his strength. (he said he wanted to arm wrestle me) and to his humor even when times are hard. What an amazing family i have. Every single person, all my cousins, aunts and uncles, from all over the country was there. He was born during the first world war in germany, moved to the US, enlisted after pearl harbor, served during WW2, the cold war, had 4 children, had a farm, had his own business on top of the farm, had a double bypass surgery in his 60's, was given ten years to live, and is right now beating the odds once again at the age of 91. He and i on his 90th birthday talked about him making it to tripple digits, and he was reminded today that he needed to do it, and damn it he just might.
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Published by lakia: 12:26 AM
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Saturday, January 06, 2007
So yesterday i left whistler around 2pm. Little did i know the storm that was happening in whistler, wasnt just in that area, it covered the west side of BC and washington. Man, what an adventure.
Took me almost 4 hours to get to vancouver, then i got stuck in vancouver rush hour, then hit a massive rain storm from bellingham to seattle, then it cleared up for a tick in seattle, then started pouring again at north bend, then i almost died over the pass on more than one occasion because the people on the west side dont know how to drive in the snow, it was pretty crazy, definately had a couple of those moments that make your butt pucker up, ya know?
Anyhow, spokane, my bed, a TOOTH BRUSH, so amazing. Catch all you whistler junkies and whistlerites in april! Once again thanks to joe and steve for taking me in and putting up with my snoring!!
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Published by lakia: 1:11 PM
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Thursday, January 04, 2007
Well, my car is finally in the shop. I was supposed to be home 2 days ago so i could go back to work. Maybe my brake screwing up and keeping me here for a few extra days is a sign that i need to quit my job and go snowboarding, who knows. But tonight is joes birthday party, and we are going to party our asses off, for true style.
My car should be done today, or early tomorrow, so with any "luck" i will be on my way home, for a 500 mile solo drive, and finally, a change of clothes, and my bed....ladies?
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Published by lakia: 12:45 PM
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Saturday, December 30, 2006
im off to whistler you hussies, see you in the morrow.
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Published by lakia: 7:36 PM
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Monday, December 18, 2006
So as of christmas i will have been smoke free for 2 months. Im pretty proud with myself for having quit smoking. On the flip side though, from time to time i do chew a bit. I have bought 3 tins in the last 2 months, mainly i just use it for when im drinking, or i take a tiny dip when im getting a craving a smoke. I could have used the patch or gum, but i decided to let the cowboy in me get out for a bit.
So today, im sitting there eating some toast with peanutbutter (yum yum) and i have a bottle of water, and another bottle that is my spit bottle that is the exact same kind of bottle as my water bottle. After eating a piece of toast i grab for what i thought was my water bottle, and took a good swig. Upon entering my mouth i realized that the liquid was not water at all, it was spit and chew remnants, now i didnt swallow, and i proceded to run to the kitchen sink and spit it out, and i succeded in not throwing up, although there was some definate gaggage going on.
In more recent news, sincei have been completely broke the last few weeks, i have taken to destroying the lives of young children and grown men on Xbox Live playing gears of war. I am now in the top 3500 for this week, and over all about 15000 out over half a million people who play the game.
God im a f*cking loser....hahahahaha.....whistler, beware of the return of the for true crew 12-31-06
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Published by lakia: 6:40 PM
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Sunday, December 10, 2006
Any of you ever had a song that described a situation going on in your life to the T? I cant stop listening to this song. Someone i hadnt seen in a very long time was recently in town, a girl i have a whole lot of history with. And even though i dont love her in a relationship way anymore, i didnt realize how much i still care for and worry about her.
We had a long talk one of the last nights she was in town about what has happened in her life over the last few years, and my heart went out to her. What a strong person, even though she feels she has failed in certain aspects, which she most certainly has excelled in. Anyhow, enough of the mushy stuff, since you all dont get to see this side of me very much, here are the lyrics:
Modern Mans Hustle
Atmosphere
Who cares what Jane says
She always spits the same spit
Id rather kill the radio and listen to the rain hit
Little sister needs seclusion
Somehow she'll discover it through the pop music
Got used to the feeling of falling
But you'll never see her following
Bouncing back and forth between the healing and the hollering
Riding the outer ring of your own private saturn
Thoughts scattered all across the grey matter
Little baby doll, she doesnt know what to say to yall
The patience is short and of course the pride is way too tall
Break it all smash the past like it was made of glass
Aint no other way to make it last
It hurts to watch Lucy lose the dream
Ive had the pleasure of seeing our hero kick and scream
And when she calms down Ill turn the sound down
And put my arms around the little lost and found
And Ill tell her that
I will show you all you need to know
You must hold on to anyone that wants you
And I will love you through simple and the struggle
But girl you gotta understand the modern man must hustle
Hush little lady dont say a word
All the rest of the village gonna know your disturbed
And if you let em know that your vulnerable
Then there aint no stoppin before they open you slow
Im a chapter in you text book
Read me like a check book
Mistook love at first sight for a sex look
Enough of the blind mans bluff
I want the good stuff
Trying to hook up a full belly and a foot rub
The moderns man hustle, i dig it I shovel
Feed me ya troubles and need me to cuddle
Bundle up in my mitten and coat
As cold as it get Ill keep your winter afloat
So let the snow fall (its comin down)
She doesnt want to understand why I still come around
She look at the mirror she dont see what I see
She holds no history of how precious she be
Lay your head on my chest speak of this stress
Kick your feet up and rest before we clean up the nest
I hate to see you upset, it cramps the position
And if you didnt know you better listen cause
I will show you all you need to know
You must hold on to anyone that wants you
And I will love you through simple and the struggle
But girl you gotta understand the modern man must hustle
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Published by lakia: 2:54 PM
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Saturday, October 14, 2006
MAN LAWS...
1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.
2: It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances:
(a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
(b) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.
(c) After wrecking your boss' car.
(d) One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into "The Crying Game".
(e) When she is using her teeth.
3: Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his buddies.
4: Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.
5: If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever unless you actually marry her.
6: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy's fridge is forbidden. However complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.
7: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your buddy's birthday is strictly optional. At that point, you must celebrate at a strip bar of the birthday boy's choice.
8: On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.
9: When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.
10: You may flatulate in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment, she's officially your girlfriend.
11: It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach ... and it's delivered by a topless model and only when it's free.
12: Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another guy in the nuts.
13: Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.
14: Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.
15: If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything.
16: Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.
17: A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.
18: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both, that's just greedy.
19: If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer.
20: Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of yours, except if she's withholding sex pending your response.
21: Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while lifting weights:
(a) Yeah, Baby, Push it!
(b) C'mon, give me one more! Harder!
(c) Another set and we can hit the showers!
22: Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing: i.e. both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.
23: Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up if necessary.
24: The morning after you and a girl who was formerly "just a friend" have carnal, drunken monkey sex, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason for you not to nail each other again before the discussion about what a big mistake it was occurs.
25: It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for her to drive yours.
26: Thou shalt not buy a car in the colors of brown, pink, lime green, orange or sky blue.
27: The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets an Xbox. End of story.
28: There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men's Gymnastics. Ever.
29: Pull out
We've all heard about people having guts or balls. But do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definition of each is listed below.
"GUTS" is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to say, "Are you still cleaning or are you flying somewhere?"
"BALLS" is coming home late after a night out with the guys smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the ass and having the balls to say, "You're next!!!
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Published by lakia: 1:14 PM
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Sunday, September 24, 2006
| Your best friend is dumped by his girlfriend. How long before you can ask her out? |
Six Months, but only if she is drop-dead gorgeous. |
If you bring beer to a party and not all of it is consumed, can you take the remainder with you as you leave the party? |
Tuck Rule: One beer max, but only if the beer will fit in your pocket. |
If a friend gets you a beer from the bar, is it acceptable for the
friend to stick his finger in the opening to bring back several beers
to the table at once? |
No, Man Law: "You poke it, you own it." |
When toasting with beer, should you clink with the top or the bottom of the bottle? |
The Bottom, because clinking the top would qualify as kissing. |
Is the high five officially played out? |
Yes, but a continuance has been issued until a replacement can be found. |
Is crushing an empty beer can on your forehead acceptable? |
No, modern, thinner cans make the feat less impressive than with cans of years past. |
Is it permissible to hide your beer in the fridge so that others can't find it? |
No, Sharing is caring. |
Wireless phone headsets - pretty cool or technology gone bad? |
Technology gone bad: Anything that makes you look like a crazy person - not cool. |
Is it permissible to tap another man's beer bottle causing his to foam uncontrollably? |
No, wasting beer in the name of humor is not allowed. |
Can a wife or girlfriend store items other than beer in the garage fridge? |
No, the garage fridge is for beer only. |
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Published by lakia: 2:53 PM
Updated On: 9/24/2006 at 2:55 PM
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Thursday, September 07, 2006
Our lager,
Which art in barrels,
Hallowed be Thy drink,
Thy will be drunk,
(I will be drunk),
At home as I am in the tavern.
Give us this day our foamy head,
And forgive us our spillage,
As we forgive those who spill against us,
And lead us not to incarceration,
But deliver us from hangovers,
For thine is the beer,
The bitter and the lager,
Forever and ever,
Barmen.
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Published by lakia: 8:51 PM
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Pass me the 151 and coke cat, then later
We'll find where the dope at, but hold that, I seen
Somethin' so fat that I wish I could've drove back to
Get my kodac
Strip teaser lovin' who got the visa got it then she will
Please ya nada then she don't need ya prada Gucci for leisure
It's her duty to feed ya amnesia caribou and tequiza
Off the turn buckle baby bubba had the booty and boobies
It was a nudy so cudie was a cutie I gotta get near
Her I got a mucho deniro look at her look at herself in
The mirror moving like shakira
Made my way to the front of the stage hunits for days
The body I wanted to praise will she get with a nigga
Maybe she bent over and said thanx and I whispered
In her ear
I love the way you make it slither baby, every night
When I come thru that looks like somethin' that I
Wanna run thru, you want some ooow, you know I want you,
Baby we can have fun too
Will she ask me for a lap dance? Then Trav said
She too fine fat chance, boy I'm Tan Tan I rap
dance
And I slap hands with millionaires and plus I got stacks
Man
She approached me slowly, holy moly, Chef Boyardees cheese
And Beef ravioli hold me close nose be op, how much evil can
Dough provoke?How much? She told me nope
Said this one was on her, I'm hoping I can get the chance
To put in on her she slithered on me put the booty on
My lap and got ta girating, was I waiting for the
Pushin' grabbing and vibrating
But this is really when my pupils got to dilating
What kind of magical hocus pocus was I facing
Over and over tried to explain it the best that I could
She put her mouth on the crotch of my pants and said "hddddddd"
Said she needed 400 to tip out I whip out the grip so
Quick so we can dip out the trick house, told my homies
Not to poke their lip out I'm going to rip out the guts and
Try to throw my hip out
Now it's time to trip out got at the bitch house was 3
Fine female roommates my homies missed out, took me to
Her room and threw me right on the bed got right on the head
What a wonderful night it was said
Then along came 3, 36 double D. Sizes kissin' and lickin'
On me and they comin' to do what wake my dude up but
One of them bitches bit me on the neck and drew blood
Then the other and the others, instead of bud lovers
I'm trapped with blood suckin' mutha f*ckas 4 eternity
Brought me here to straight feed on a nigga all
Because I said to a stripper I love the way you make it'
SSSLITHER.
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Published by lakia: 3:35 PM
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I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.
FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.
Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."
I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"
So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier."
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled WHAT?"
I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her.
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Published by lakia: 8:43 PM
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So after a few days of being able to somewhat sober up, sleep alot, and reflect, whistler was truely an amazing time. Between hot tubbing, all the jokes, all the booze, all the drunken rambling, all the fire dancing, all the falling through doors and passing out in various places fully clothed, and from hearing about how whistler is now cougar mountain, you all are an amazing group of people. Next year is going to slay. All of us shall be there with our sabers!!!!!! YAAAHH!!!!
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Published by lakia: 10:42 PM
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1.Beer is always wet. Vagina needs a little work.
One point to BEER
2.Warm beer tastes awful.
One point to VAGINA
3.A really cold beer is satisfying.
One point to BEER
4.If after taking a swig of your favourite beer you find a hair
between your teeth, you may vomit.
One point to VAGINA
5. If you get home reeking of beer your wife may get mad, make a scene,
kick you out, etc. If you get home reeking of vagina your wife may get
mad, kick you out, even leave you. There's definitely a point to be had
here, depending on your point of view and personal circumstances. I'll
just call it a DRAW for the time being.
6. Ten beers in one night and you can't drive home. Ten vaginas in one
night and you don't want to drive anywhere. One point to VAGINA
7. If you have a lot of beer in a public place, your reputation may
suffer. If you eat any vagina in public, you become a legend.
One point to VAGINA
8. If a cop stops you and you smell of beer you may get arrested. If
you smell of vagina he may buy you a beer. One point to VAGINA
9. You normally don't find old beer.
One point to BEER
10. Too much beer and you'll think you see flying saucers. Too much
vagina and you'll think you've seen God. One point to VAGINA
11. Ripping off a beer bottle label is boring. Ripping off panties is fun. One point to VAGINA
12. In most countries there's a tax on beer.
One point to VAGINA
13. If you have another beer the first one never gets pissed off. One
point to BEER
14. You can always be sure if you're the first one to open a bottle or a can. One point to BEER
15. If you shake beer it'll get all agitated but eventually it settles down. One point to BEER
16. With beer you always have choice: clear, dark, pilsner,ale,lager,etc One point to BEER
17. You always know how much beer is going to cost One point to BEER
18. Beer doesn't have a mother
One point to BEER
19. Beer never expects to be hugged for half an hour after you
drink it One point to BEER
FINAL SCORE: BEER: 10 VAGINA: 8
that's it! The matter is settled, the clear winner is: BEER
PS: If you are a woman and at this point feel angry, degraded or discriminated against, just remember that Beer would experience none of
those feelings, let alone express them, an extra point for BEER
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Published by lakia: 9:17 PM
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Staring at roses
Watching petals fall down to the ground
Apart of me is missing
Whenever your not around
Im too weak and i cant go on
Feels like eternity since you've been gone
And i miss you
This tragedy, is keeping me
Locked inside of my own dreams.
Something, is hurting
But i need you to need me
Change my reality
You've changed my perspective on what i should be
Say you'll do anything?
Just bleed for awhile
Because i can still feel the blade against your skin
From the air i breathe
To the thoughts i think
And the ships will sink
In the coffee that i drink
Your still apart of me
Lets Warm ourselves by this fire
This bridge that we set ablaze
And Watch the Flames Grow upon your face
We'll decorate our bodies with, this falling ash
Because it still hurts every time
From the air i breathe
To the thoughts i think
And the ships will sink
In the coffee that i drink
Your still apart of me
Yesterday we threw away roses
Now the petals lay trampled on the ground
Apart of me is right there
With the petals that lay soft and sound
Now the sound of the guitar
Fills the void inside
Say you'll do anything?
Just bleed for awhile because i can still feel the blade against your skin
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Published by lakia: 9:50 PM
Updated On: 3/7/2006 at 9:58 PM
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Friday, December 02, 2005
So last night Phoebe and i made the treck from Spokane to Schweitzer
under really crappy road conditions, and lots of DJ Jazzy Phoebe iPod
music.
It was dumping snow, and it was amazing.
I will tell you this much. The Snow Gods of the Pacific North West beat
the crap out of that Hussie El Nino, and gave us back our snow. I have
not ridden snow that deep, nor that dry, in going on probably 4 or 5
years.
Northern Idaho, Western Montana, and Eastern BC are out to reclaim our throne this year, and its going to be done.
I hope your all having a good season, but my god, you all need to get
out here......or dont, cause it just leaves all the more for us locals!
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Published by lakia: 9:46 PM
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Sunday, November 06, 2005
I brought you brothers here today to start our fraternity!
BROKE FI BROKE
(we aint got it!)
NO! We have no money! We are sharin jeans. If i go outside i got the only clothin on! HOW MANY CARS DO WE OWN?
(NONE!)
Should we let our women go and be with the cat with the car?
(YES WE WILL!)
Why? Cause we cant afford GAS! So we aint driving!
This is founded on those of us who could not eat! We used to eat all our cerial with forks, cause we wanted to save the milk! Do you remember all those christmas's when your momma walked in the room pretending she was the tree?!
BROKE FI BROKE!
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Published by lakia: 2:00 AM
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I said to Twan
Yo twan i know the same bitch.
The Bitch with the ear ring in her clit.
I got photo's of her butt naked wit manolo's and a pair of hand cuffs on her hip.
She love coke doin lines off my CD's.
She's into bottles like i dream of jeanie.
She got her GED from night school, that stand for Gettin Everybody Dolla, greedy.
I first met her at Magic City.
She was gettin lap dances and grabbin titties.
When the stripper aint lookin, she grabbed a fity, right out the bitchs thong when her song was on.
Twan said
T that bitch aint sh*t.
She'd put the gun to your balls while swallowin your kiss.
Before you know it, you got robbed.
By four fat chicks that kicked in your door while you was tied.
Thats the game that bitches play.
Watch your back while they walkin your way.
You know her. Long hair brown skin.
Pussy be whippin bro's like Lady Heroin.
You'll try to get her drink, but she'll slip you a micky.
Now you the next date rape victim on Ricky.
Scandelous.
So i said
Man never trust a ho.
They get you set up fast, and they'll put your hands in the air like busta show.
I got the famous name, and the dough.
Between her legs and chin there's a few places my nuts will go.
Im all about gettin the profit.
So i get all my hoodrat head with my hand in my pocket.
So Twan said
Yeah man its a dirty game.
Rule number 1 you never spend clean money on a dirty dame.
Bitches pointin like "oh hes kiss" .
Give him a whipped off the purple kush.
It just dont add up.
She just wants to get her hair and nails done and tear 5th ave up.
For True.
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Published by lakia: 2:00 AM
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