BEFORE:

 

 

 

AFTER:

 

 

1. When she asks how she looks, shrug and say "could be better." This will keep her on her toes, and girls love that.

2. Never hold her hand. This can be interpreted as a sign of weakness. If she grabs your hand, squeeze hers really hard until she cries (this will impress her by showing her what a strong man you are).

3. Once a month, sneak up on her from behind and knock her over. Girls are like dogs; they love to be roughed up.

4. Call her in the middle of the night to ask if she's sleeping. If she is, say "you better be." Repeat this 4 or 5 times until morning. This will show her you care.

5. When she is upset about something, suggest to her that it might be her fault. This will pave the way for her own personal improvement, and every girl needs some improvement.

6. Recognize the small things, as they usually mean the most. Then when she's sleeping, steal all her small things and break them, because jewelry is for pussies and Asian ladies.

7. If you're talking to another girl, make sure she's looking. When she is, stare into her eyes, mouth the words "f~ck you" and grab the other girl's ass. Girls love competition.

8. Tell her you're taking her out to dinner. Drive for miles so she thinks it's going to be really special. Then take her to a burning tire yard. When she starts to get upset, tell her you were just kidding and now you're really going to take her to dinner. Then drive her home. When she starts crying and asks why you would do something like that, lean over and whisper very quietly into her ear "...because I can."

9. Introduce her to your friends as "some chick." Women love those special nicknames.

10. Play with her hair. Play with it HARD.

11. Warm her up when she's cold...and not by giving her your jacket, because then you might get cold. Rather, look her in the eye and say "if you don't stop bitching about the cold right now, you're going to be bitching about a black eye." The best way to get warm is with fear.

12. Take her to a party. When you get there, she'll have to go to the bathroom (they always do). Leave immediately. Come back right when the party is dying and yell at her the whole way home for ditching you all night.

13. Make her laugh. A good way to do this is if she has a small pet. Kick the pet. I always find stuff like that funny...why shouldn't girls?

14. Let her fall asleep in your arms. When she's fast asleep, wait 10 minutes, then jump up and scream in her ear. Repeat until she goes home and you can use your arms for more important things (like basketball).

15. Spit often. I hear girls like guys that spit.

16. If you care about her, never ever tell her. This will only give her self-confidence, then you can never turn her into the object she deep down desires to be.

17. Every time you're in her house, steal one of her shoes, earrings or anything else that comes in pairs. Only take one of the pair. This way, she'll go crazy.

18. Take her out to dinner. Right when she's about to order, interrupt and say "no, she's not hungry." Make her watch you eat. Girls love a guy that speaks for her.

19. Look her in the eyes and smile. Then punch her in the face. Girls love a spontaneous guy.

20. Give her one of your t-shirts, and make sure it has your smell on it (but not a sexy cologne smell...a bad smell. You know what I'm talking about).

21. When it's raining, keep asking her if she's crying. She'll say "no, it's just the rain." Ten minutes later, turn to her and just scream at her to stop crying. Girls like a tough man.

22. Titty twisters and plenty of them.

23. If you're listening to music, and she asks to hear it, tell her no. This way she'll think you're mysterious.

24. Remember her birthday, but don't get her anything. Teach her that material objects arent important. The only thing that's important is that she keeps you happy, and your happiness is the greatest present she can ever get.

25. When she gives you a present on your birthday, Christmas or just whenever, take it and tell her you love it. Then, next time you know she's coming over on a trash day, leave the trash can open and have the present visibly sticking out of the can. Girls actually don't like this one that much, but I think it's funny.

26. If she's mad at you for not calling her when you say you will, promise her that you will call her at a certain time of the day. This will make sure that she waits by the phone. Tell her when you call that you're going to tell her a special surprise. Now she'll be really excited. Don't call.

So the other weekend we all had quit the adventure. I just now got some of the pictures on my comp.

It started out with Barry and I driving from spokane to WSU (Washington State University, 80 miles there, 80 miles back) so we could party with some friends we hadnt seen in forever. All around it was the typical night at WSU. Meet up with a bunch of friends at a house party, beer bong some busch light, walk to the bars, pound some more busch light, and then i had some black dude explain to me how he was my forefather, which i found extremely funny, and he didnt like that i was laughing at him for it, i dont really remember what happened other than him yelling at me cause i was laughing at him.

So we get into town and its dumping snow. Well we all get this killer idea to go to priest lake, party there for the night, sleep at the cabins that have no power, and get up at the butt crack of dawn and go snowboarding at schweitzer.

So we drive to the lake (90 miles from spokane, to the resort, to the cabin) party our asses off, and drive to the cabin. Pat and i just noticed that the entire lake , as far as we can see is frozen completely solid. So we start walking on the lake, it was pretty creepy, but awesome all at the same time.

We get up in the morning and drive to schweitzer (65 miles from the cabin). This is the view from the cabin, one is summer time, one is the other weekend, its really awesome.

 

View from the deck during summer:

 

View from the deck during winter with entire lake frozen:

 

This is a very small portion of the lake. Its 23 miles long, and its all frozen, they dont think it will be completely open till june, haha, so crazy.

 

Anyhow, getting to this cabin was a ton of fun. Luckily they had plowed the country road for once in its exsistence, so my car some what made it. We were plowin snow the whole way there pretty much, it was a ton of fun.

 

The road:

 

My car after the battle with the road:

 

Snowboarding slayed, killer snow, deep, fun, steep, amazing days. So next time around, some of you bastards come join us and lets have some fun in the killer PNW!