Sunday, September 24, 2006

Your best friend is dumped by his girlfriend. How long before you can ask her out?	Six Months, but only if she is drop-dead gorgeous.
If you bring beer to a party and not all of it is consumed, can you take the remainder with you as you leave the party?	Tuck Rule: One beer max, but only if the beer will fit in your pocket.
If a friend gets you a beer from the bar, is it acceptable for the friend to stick his finger in the opening to bring back several beers to the table at once?	No, Man Law: "You poke it, you own it."
When toasting with beer, should you clink with the top or the bottom of the bottle?	The Bottom, because clinking the top would qualify as kissing.
Is the high five officially played out?	Yes, but a continuance has been issued until a replacement can be found.
Is crushing an empty beer can on your forehead acceptable?	No, modern, thinner cans make the feat less impressive than with cans of years past.
Is it permissible to hide your beer in the fridge so that others can't find it?	No, Sharing is caring.
Wireless phone headsets - pretty cool or technology gone bad?	Technology gone bad: Anything that makes you look like a crazy person - not cool.
Is it permissible to tap another man's beer bottle causing his to foam uncontrollably?	No, wasting beer in the name of humor is not allowed.
Can a wife or girlfriend store items other than beer in the garage fridge?	No, the garage fridge is for beer only.

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Published by lakia: 2:53 PM Updated On: 9/24/2006 at 2:55 PM

Thursday, September 07, 2006

Our lager,

Which art in barrels,

Hallowed be Thy drink,

Thy will be drunk,

(I will be drunk),

At home as I am in the tavern.

Give us this day our foamy head,

And forgive us our spillage,

As we forgive those who spill against us,

And lead us not to incarceration,

But deliver us from hangovers,

For thine is the beer,

The bitter and the lager,

Forever and ever,

Barmen.

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Published by lakia: 8:51 PM