Sunday, May 21, 2006

Pass me the 151 and coke cat, then later
We'll find where the dope at, but hold that, I seen
Somethin' so fat that I wish I could've drove back to
Get my kodac

Strip teaser lovin' who got the visa got it then she will
Please ya nada then she don't need ya prada Gucci for leisure
It's her duty to feed ya amnesia caribou and tequiza

Off the turn buckle baby bubba had the booty and boobies
It was a nudy so cudie was a cutie I gotta get near
Her I got a mucho deniro look at her look at herself in
The mirror moving like shakira

Made my way to the front of the stage hunits for days
The body I wanted to praise will she get with a nigga
Maybe she bent over and said thanx and I whispered
In her ear

I love the way you make it slither baby, every night
When I come thru that looks like somethin' that I
Wanna run thru, you want some ooow, you know I want you,
Baby we can have fun too

Will she ask me for a lap dance? Then Trav said
She too fine fat chance, boy I'm Tan Tan I rap dance
And I slap hands with millionaires and plus I got stacks
Man

She approached me slowly, holy moly, Chef Boyardees cheese
And Beef ravioli hold me close nose be op, how much evil can
Dough provoke?How much? She told me nope

Said this one was on her, I'm hoping I can get the chance
To put in on her she slithered on me put the booty on
My lap and got ta girating, was I waiting for the
Pushin' grabbing and vibrating

But this is really when my pupils got to dilating
What kind of magical hocus pocus was I facing
Over and over tried to explain it the best that I could
She put her mouth on the crotch of my pants and said "hddddddd"

Said she needed 400 to tip out I whip out the grip so
Quick so we can dip out the trick house, told my homies
Not to poke their lip out I'm going to rip out the guts and
Try to throw my hip out

Now it's time to trip out got at the bitch house was 3
Fine female roommates my homies missed out, took me to
Her room and threw me right on the bed got right on the head
What a wonderful night it was said

Then along came 3, 36 double D. Sizes kissin' and lickin'
On me and they comin' to do what wake my dude up but
One of them bitches bit me on the neck and drew blood

Then the other and the others, instead of bud lovers
I'm trapped with blood suckin' mutha f*ckas 4 eternity
Brought me here to straight feed on a nigga all
Because I said to a stripper I love the way you make it'
SSSLITHER.

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Published by lakia: 3:35 PM

Thursday, May 04, 2006

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled WHAT?"

I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her.

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Published by lakia: 8:43 PM