Every once in a while, usually when my friends stop hanging out
with me because of the smell, I take the time to do some laundry.
Recently I decided it was time to wash my good old Westbeach Sunset
jacket. We'd had some good times but it was starting to smell a
little too much like the outdoors so it was time to give it the old
spin cycle. I proceeded to empty out the pockets in preparation for
the washing procedure (faded cash and water logged iPods are not
cool).
With my pockets empty (even those secret inside pockets... I
didn't find any misplaced money unfortunately 
), it was time to
get to the washing part. Step one: find the garment care
instructions tag. This proved to be a bit of a challenge since it
was located somewhere beneath the powder skirt. Once located, I
proceeded to read off the instructions:
Seems easy enough, but just to double check, I decided to flip the
tag over to make sure I didn't miss anything (I only like good
surprises). On first glance, it just seemed like the French
translation of the afore mentioned care instructions (I love Canada)
however, there seemed to be a little extra at the bottom: “Spooning
is good but forking is better”. It took a second for this
wonderful nugget of wisdom to register, so on second reading it
occurred to me that sometimes the deepest of philosophies can be
found in the most uncommon places such as garment care instruction
tags.
Being a bit of a sceptic, I don't generally take what I read at
face value. That being said, this seems like an easy enough
postulate to verify. So I'm looking for research assistants to help
me confirm that “forking” is in fact better than “spooning”.
Compensation is commensurate to my research budget (which is pretty
much non existent once condoms and beer are purchased). Willing
candidates should send applications to:
The Institute for Useless Research
(IUR)
69 Fornikature way
Whorina, Ontario, Canada
IB6 UB9
I hope to be able to further the field of useless social science
and build on what I've already learned:
-
Clean clothes make it easier to keep the friends that you
have.
-
Wisdom can often be found in the most unexpected places,
including washing instructions.
-
Vanilla yoghurt mixed with strawberry pop rocks is a tasty
snack and a nutritional paradox (yes I know this has nothing to do
with this blog but I like being random).
If interested, feel free to contact me, I'll be in my study (the
crapper), or the lab (the chairlift) pushing the frontiers of
science. Until next time,
Keep Shreddin' the GNAR!
J
Tags:
Spooning,
Forking
Published by
jr_barns: 9:38 PM
Views: 6359
