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How to shower correctly

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How to shower correctly

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24 posts

DB_Cooper Posts : 684 ONLINE	Posted on Dec 26, 2007 How To Shower Like A Woman Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see your boyfriend/husband along the way, cover up any exposed flesh and rush to the bathroom. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror and stick out your gut so that you can complain and whine even more about how you're getting fat. Get in the shower. Look for facecloth, armcloth, legcloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. Wash your hair once with Cucumber and Lamfrey shampoo with 83 added vitamins. Wash your hair again with Cucumbers and Lamfrey shampoo with 83 added vitamins. Condition your hair with Cucumber and Lamfrey conditioner enhanced with natural crocus oil. Leave on hair for fifteen minutes. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for ten minutes until red raw. Wash entire rest of body with Ginger Nut and Jaffa Cake body wash. Rinse conditioner off hair (this takes at least fifteen minutes as you must make sure that it has all come off). Shave armpits and legs. Consider shaving bikini area but decide to get it waxed instead. Scream loudly when your boyfriend/husband flushes the toilet and you lose the water pressure. Turn off shower. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small African country. Wrap hair in super absorbent second towel. Check entire body for the remotest sign of a zit. Attack with nails/tweezers if found. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If you see your boyfriend/husband along the way, cover up any exposed flesh and then rush to bedroom to spend an hour and a half getting dressed. Like A Man Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see your girlfriend/wife along the way, flash her making the "woo" sound. Look at your manly physique in the mirror and suck in your gut to see if you have pecs (no). Admire the size of your dick in the mirror, scratch your balls and smell your fingers for one last whiff. Get in the shower. Don't bother to look for a washcloth. (you don't use one). Wash your face. Wash your armpits. Crack up at how loud your fart sounds in the shower. Wash your privates and surrounding area. Wash your ass, leaving hair on the soap bar. Shampoo your hair (do not use conditioner). Make a shampoo Mohawk. Pull back shower curtain and look at yourself in the mirror. Pee (in the shower). Rinse off and get out of the shower. Fail to notice water on the floor because you left the curtain hang out of the tub the whole time. Partially dry off. Look at yourself in the mirror, flex muscles. Admire dick size. Leave shower curtain open and wet bath mat on the floor. Leave bathroom and fan light on. Return to the bedroom with towel around your waist. If you pass your girlfriend/wife, pull off the towel, grab your dick, go "Yeah baby" and thrust your pelvis at her. Throw wet towel on the bed. Take 2 minutes to get dressed.
	"If we can hit that bullseye, the rest of the dominoes will fall like a house of cards... checkmate!"

CanAm89 Posts : 196 ONLINE	Posted on Dec 26, 2007 I'm glad you took credit for the video that came out months ago.

silversnowkat Posts : 2235 ONLINE	Posted on Dec 26, 2007 video??
	If hell freezes over.... whoever wants to ride there may... I choose to ride in heaven where it'll always be a powder day

SpecialKallt... "Intersting Jailbird" Posts : 2937 OFFLINE	Posted on Dec 26, 2007
	Millions of trees in the world are accidentally planted by squirrels who bury nuts and then forget where they hid them.

I_got_snow_b... "Cold Balls" Posts : 1094 OFFLINE	Posted on Dec 26, 2007 Showering like a man is dead on target!

Steezey "Where's the c-section scar?" Posts : 1268 ONLINE	Posted on Dec 26, 2007 i have to admit, i always like to pull off the shampoo mohawk
	60% of the time, it works, every time.

DB_Cooper Posts : 684 ONLINE	Posted on Dec 26, 2007 Posted by CanAm89 I'm glad you took credit for the video that came out months ago. I didn't take credit for anything. I never said I made those steps, I simply posted them.
	"If we can hit that bullseye, the rest of the dominoes will fall like a house of cards... checkmate!"

spit.your.game Posts : 63 ONLINE	Posted on Dec 26, 2007 haha as rediculous as it sounds its so true

ondafritz Posts : 92 ONLINE	Posted on Dec 26, 2007 spot on my man hahaha
	in a room full o' crackers, makes me want to cut da cheese

BrightEyes13 "Ding dong" Posts : 2947 ONLINE	Posted on Dec 27, 2007 Haha... I read the rules years ago but this is the first time I saw the vid. Nice one!
	I'm what Willis was talkin' 'bout Prisoner # 6655321

jk147 Posts : 993 ONLINE	Posted on Dec 27, 2007 Guilty as charged, lol.

kendrat "Sexy Mrs. Tooscoops" Posts : 2508 OFFLINE	Posted on Dec 27, 2007 a little from column a, a little from column b.... haha i use 2-in-1 shampoo and conditioner so it erradicates any need to wait around for conditioner. i pee in the shower and laugh at shower farts. i do, however, use a puff and load it up with soap. screw robes, they're not any use at all, except after i shower if i don't feel like getting dressed and it's too cold to wander around naked.
	on my way to hell in a handbasket, who wants a ride?

von_kimber_f... Posts : 483 OFFLINE	Posted on Dec 27, 2007 How I rub a dub dub in my bath a tub tub: 1. Turn water on 'til its warm (always more to the hot side, then the cold) then turn on shower. 2. Get in and get your hair soaked and wet for a nice shampooing. (singing starts here if you may) 3. Close your eyes then shampoo up really good getting rid of any garbage particles in ze hair, then rinse. 4. Condition up the same as you did shampoo to smooth your hair, then rinse. 5. Grab the loofa get it wet, then apply your soap/body wash/etc. to the loofa. 6. Scrub every part of your body very thoroughly until you look clean, and smell good. 7. Rinse your bod, then turn off the shower and grab your towel and dry yourself off extra good. 8. Blow dry your hair or dry it very well, because sleeping with wet hair causes a cold just cuz it weakens your immune system haha! Process should only take 30 mins. at the most, if you're a guy 10 mins! And that's what I call how to shower correctly!
	..:these diamonds of mine just sparkle like wine:..

I_got_snow_b... "Cold Balls" Posts : 1094 OFFLINE	Posted on Dec 27, 2007 when I was with my ex... every time we took a shower together, I made sure her boobs were really clean and I love it when nobody is home, that way after I get dry I can just walk around the house naked, picking leftovers out the fridge, read my mail or brew some coffee LOL

longboard16 Posts : 348 ONLINE	Posted on Dec 27, 2007 Showering together saves money, time and is a helluva lot more fun. Shower time is somewhere between the individual times for men and women...say twenty minutes. One towel or perhaps just the sheets to dry off.
	Expect the unexpected and then just deal with it.

BrightEyes13 "Ding dong" Posts : 2947 ONLINE	Posted on Dec 28, 2007 I'm the worst when it comes to showering. I spend waaaaayyy to much time in there. Mostly because I really like running water....and because I hate that blast of cold air when you reach out to grab the towel.
	I'm what Willis was talkin' 'bout Prisoner # 6655321

Iwish_NJ_had... Posts : 468 ONLINE	Posted on Jan 01, 2008 hahaha its all pretty much true. hilarious vid
	*You only get so many chances in life, fck it and just do it**

NinjaOG Posts : 414 ONLINE	Posted on Jan 01, 2008 hahaha, i shower like once a week hahahaha. my mom paid me $20 to shower one time

silversnowkat Posts : 2235 ONLINE	Posted on Jan 01, 2008 NinjaOG, do you have a girlfriend?-if your answer is no, then we may be on to something...
	If hell freezes over.... whoever wants to ride there may... I choose to ride in heaven where it'll always be a powder day

sixteen_12 "Fondles self" Posts : 4046 ONLINE	Posted on Jan 01, 2008 If your girlfriend requires you to shower, she is way to needy. Dump her ass immediately.
	Lame is the new steeze

silversnowkat Posts : 2235 ONLINE	Posted on Jan 01, 2008 then call me needy, but is showering at least twice a week too much to ask?
	If hell freezes over.... whoever wants to ride there may... I choose to ride in heaven where it'll always be a powder day

Iwish_NJ_had... Posts : 468 ONLINE	Posted on Jan 01, 2008 he may be on to something himself, $20 bucks a week for nothing?!? Ill take that
	*You only get so many chances in life, fck it and just do it**

von_kimber_f... Posts : 483 OFFLINE	Posted on Jan 01, 2008 Posted by DB_Cooper Check entire body for the remotest sign of a zit. Attack with nails/tweezers if found. Whoaaa there, I have never picked a zit with tweezers. haha, sounds kinda insane and hurtful. I don't even pick at 'em until they're fully white and ripe haha, and ready to be popped.
	..:these diamonds of mine just sparkle like wine:..

Iwish_NJ_had... Posts : 468 ONLINE	Posted on Jan 01, 2008 ^thats some un-feminine talk........
	*You only get so many chances in life, fck it and just do it**

24 posts

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