didnt really mean to open a new topic, haha have no idea have to get rid of it, well well. [Edited on 12/2/2005]

Its all cool, i sugest that now we have this open we can use it as a random thought for the day thread. I shall start by thingking "maybe i should get of my ass and get dressed as its almost 4 pm and i have done nothing all day but sit on here"

^^ no point bothering if ya get to that time... take it as a r&r day.... i'm wondering whether ya can burn off your fingerprints with an iron to become a master criminal!! and also how long it takes a parcel to reach france.... if anyone actually has a clue please let me know!

Ah i didnt and got dressed at 6:30 in the end. Finger tips thing would probably work but i guess you would pass out from the pain before it was successfull. As for the post question im not sure. But.... How many letters do you think the average snail could carry and i always wondered why the post office was so slow (but thinking about it, Snail mail hits true)

^^^ i guess it depends on the size and shape of the letters.... for instance the letter M would probably be ok, although a W might have a lower center of gravity, making it more stable, however the poor snail wouldn't have a chance trying to carry an O! the post office takes so long cos it employs dyslexic posties.... true fact, some poor woman got so stressed trying to read addresses that she stashed all the mail. next random question (which might explain my ridiculous answers somewot)... why does red wine stain your lips purple?

Posted by: ^^^ i guess it depends on the size and shape of the letters.... for instance the letter M would probably be ok, although a W might have a lower center of gravity, making it more stable, however the poor snail wouldn't have a chance trying to carry an O! the post office takes so long cos it employs dyslexic posties.... true fact, some poor woman got so stressed trying to read addresses that she stashed all the mail. next random question (which might explain my ridiculous answers somewot)... why does red wine stain your lips purple?

Funny girl :) Takes a day or two longer than on-time first class. Most posties are actually 16y/o pikeys, which also explains a lot.

I guess aswell that if it was a W then you could ballance other letters of the spikes such as the O's. Dyslexic posties eh, there is a thought, not met any though even when my Nan ran a post office. Red wine and purple lips, hmnn, could be a reaction to the lipstick you wear possibly, that or you have very blue lips. but why is white wine called white, when it looks more golden.

the dyslexic postie story is true!! [url=http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2-2005500600,,00.html]http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2-2005500600,,00.html[/url] hope you appreciate it.... the hunt for that link took me into some random guys blog, where i was informed that giving oral sex can cause cancer, and it's been proven that men become distracted while masterbating.... my aunt runs a post office, got held up last year, but the robbers realised that if they walked in wearing balaclavas she'd hit the alarm before they reached the counter. so they walked up to the counter, and then put their disguises on so they couldn't be identified on cctv..... that's a special type of stupid. dont know why white wine is so named.... if it really was white (and i mean white, not 'clear and colourless') i dont think i could drink it!! my latest burning question is a result of another thread on here, which im gonna try to stop hijacking.... why did they build so many roundabouts in milton keynes? any thoughts on wot was going on in the planners heads? drugs? secret camera's to film peoples reactions to it? a giant science experiement to show how long it takes to learn your way round?

how can you be sure that the snail is carrying an M when it could infact be an upside down W?? there fore getting the delievery of the letter wrong(once again,remarkable similarity to royal mail)

random thought for the day "why is my comment notification in minus figures?" [Edited on 12/6/2005]

Dante, Golden Wine is something totally different. It isn't drunk by many...not in public anyways. They weren't meant to be roundabouts, it was just meant to be one big road going around the place, but the designer kept putting his coffee mug down on the plans.

well my randon of the day is what use is time if you never have enough time to do things?

what happens if the snail is delivering the letters to australia? surely the m's and w.s would be upside down, and the O's will fall off. that would further confuse 'Lucy' (the dyslexic postie).

Posted by: t0mmy_d They weren't meant to be roundabouts, it was just meant to be one big road going around the place, but the designer kept putting his coffee mug down on the plans.

i read this earlier as i was going to work... laughed my a.s.s off the whole way to work.... just come home and im sitting at comp with smile on my face again.... that comment has probably made my day! i can just picture all these builders not wanting to question authority over the wisdom of the plans! my theory on the time thing is that old father time is a twisted auld fart who changes time to cause maximum disruption to everyone's lives. that's why im always half an hour late..... it's not my fault! the australia question is an interesting connundrum..... if i snail could physically travel from britain to australia, would the length of time it would take lu the dyslexic snail to get there be longer than her lifespan... even if she didn't get lost reading road signs wrong?? (still smiling thinking bout mk)

new theory on mk, the designers realised how ugly mk will be so they put loads of roundabouts in so people can't leave or something, poor i know but hey.... what if the snail brought it's girlfriend/boyfriend to make a new snail when they got old, or what if they went via airmail? (hitched a lift on a plane)

is dyslexia hereditory? (in humans or snails!) and how do snails have sex? wot would snail porn be like? think we've opened up a whole can of worms... sorry, snails here.... so i'm gonna throw down a challenge.... 24hours (so that we can do this in work) to find out as many random snail facts, jokes.... and work out the most effective method of getting to australia... how would the mucus membranes deal with altered pressure at 10000ft? winner gets snail porn!

Cant say i have ever seen a Sinal read a book upsidown, showing its dislexic, but that could be because they cant carry more than a couple of letters at a time, so yes maybe the M is a W but possibly because the little blighters are Dyslexic. Snail porn, i bet they wont be having white showers in that one eh, the S&M films have them flicking salt at themselves i hear. Now worms i hear they have short tempers and split personalities too.

I'm tempted to go all Mr Physics Manny on you about the Aussie thing Rob, but you're simple, so I'll leave you alone (= Snails can live up to 15 years Snails can crawl across a razor blade & not get hurt (so emo snails have to find another way I guess) Snails usually travel in an irregular path, often in a circle - Surely this one can explain some points brought up earlier. What if, infact, snails aren't actualyl dyslexic, but just permanently pizzled? Snails are also, apparently, more attractive at night... Tune in next week for more factomundos! [Edited on 12/6/2005]

how about this one: they weren't really coffee stains but the snails sharted (for those who don't understand the pumped andpoo'd at the same time) whilst (hee he i used the word whilst) going in circles

i don't ice skate cos knowing my luck i will fall and lose a finger or 8, and possibly some thumbs too................

Posted by: Dante2cubit Snail porn, i bet they wont be having white showers in that one eh, the S&M films have them flicking salt at themselves i hear.

i like this thread.... it makes me laugh :)

so.......is a slug a pikey snail coz it doesnt have a house?or is a snail a pikey slug coz its shell is like a caravan? about the traveling to oz,its simple,there is a chain going on,the land snails take the letter to the beach,and deliver it to the sea snails(im not sure if these exsist but they do in my world)and they take the letter using the tidal currents round to bali,where once again the land snails take it and again do the swop with the sea snails,however during this process it could be very easy to pass the letter on upside down,causing the W&M thing to happen(not to be confused with the S&M thing in which salt is used) sometimes on this jorney tho the snails get distracted my sexy half naked snails who lure them into dark ally ways where their pimps(possibly the slugs) steal the numbers and sell them on the black market,which is why mail sometimes misteriously dishapears. hummm........i think i need more sleep.

Brew, what are you doing seducing mail snales with your 'sexy' half naked snail?

damn typo's it was supposed to say "by" not "my"....gah who am i trying to kid,i might as well come clean,its me in the films you see throwing the salt. busted.

i knew i recognised you from somewhere!! one of my sudent digs was so damp we had a water feature in the living room and snails and slugs used it as a holiday resort.... you'd come home from work.... put your coat on cos it was colder inside than out, walk into the living room and the slimey little critters would be sitting on the sofa with the remote.... they were always too quick for me (shows how slow i am!) and have it turned off by the time i came thru the door, and just be sitting there looking innocently slimy, but i checked the vcr once and found 'a life of slime' complete with slimy sluts, slimy spunk and YOU!!! for those of you who haven't seen it, brew is every bit as slimy in it as peter andre was the first time he invaded our lives!