f*ck all of ur decieving.what? is ur fake f*cking heart fake f*cking bleeding?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

god damn havent heard that in awhile

I really enjoy taking my bike, and just riding.No particular place to go, or certain time to leave, just feel the infinite time under me, and then go.It is honestly all around the best feeling i've ever had. the only lasting one ne ways.Riding helps me think, and is relaxing.i am convinced that if i had to go without, i would not be able to go on...yeah, riding is good.

Yeah so at first i thought it would be like this for just a while, like a couple months tops, but shi*t, i think this is just how its gonna be.and that is really depressing.i gotta figure out how to make a few things good again, and by the wayu, is it just oconto or does senior year suck for every highschool?Honestly, this is the worast year ever.and the worst part is that now i cant even drink, or smoke the feelings away because those things depress me.just the other night i gave drinking a try at my friend house, and we got hammered and smoked, and had a good time, but thats not where i wanna b. i feel so rong, or out of place when im there.I cant wait, 4and a half years and i will be gone, im not sure where ne more, but somewhere else.i cant stay here with the a**hole people, and the memories....oy, tlk about shi*tty.

Last weekend was pretty nuts, it was gay at first cuz i spent all saturday at my grandmas wedding.by the way this is her 3rd one in 3 years.what kind of grandma does that?w/e because saturday night me and bret and justin went out to a big party. it was craise. Netzer blew through a electric fence when he left, and we took his beer. Some really stuck on herself chick got laid out by a grl 3 times her size.She dropped so fast it was scary.Then at about 4 me and brett were dtil upstairs when the party move to another house.we decided to stay in the ttrashed hay mow, and break all he bottles on the walls.It was a good time.oy, and brett finally tried jagger. he never tried it because we are always so poor we just buy vodka, but we borrrowed abottle from the cooler.Ah yes, and that beautiful......early.......bright......loud......sunday morning.....oy. i hate mornigs. Next weekends gotta beat this one, and i get paid on friday, and me and court and whoever are goin to some haunted house, after getting sloshed.i, frikin sick though, my throat, and nose...forget about it.i need dayquill.

Im finally gettin my shi*t together. Im still mad f*ckin craise in love with sam, but w/e. it not a s bad ne more, i've been drinking again lately, i fogot how much fun it was, we called these SMC money making people and f*cked with them real bad. All 4 of us were in tears on the ground laghing at how long those stupid people would stay on the line, even after we laughed, and made really obvious jokes like wen they asked for my address, i said i didnt have one, and that i lived in my van down by the river, and i needed the money because "i've been eating waaayyy to much government chees".it was the best shi*t ever. it will be continued tonight and tommorow. Its gettin easier to get up for school after getting plastered cuz my body is finally getting used to it again. 

I am stuck in a bad groove that i cant get iout of, everytime i come close i see a certain someone and it brings me right back down.Dont you hate that? I was so close to breaking a really bad habit and then it happened. completely out if no where. My habit is now wose than ever. Im gettin trashed tonight, so hopefully that will take the edge off, at least fo a few hours.Riding helps too. just rippin hard as i can till im too bushed to breathe, let lone think about her.w/e. i just cant wait till i get over it.cheers:)

all i've got, and all i do is ride now.and hang with ma friends. i think i might be bi polar.