a man died and was walking along a beach. apparently this was a record of the life he had lived. he noticed there were footprints next to his during certain times in his life. he asked "jesus where were you when i needed you the most." jesus answered "that is when i carried you." to which the man replied "i think i know my own footprints a**hole, yours have holes in them!"

 

if jesus doesn't appreciate my parody of the old catholic story "footprints" he can take it up with me... in which case i will just whip out one of these:

 

 

and yell "Remember This!"