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so i am now married.

 

met my significant other from this site in fact.

 

joined this site just to track down a picture that a friend had of me.  little did i know that a snowboarding site would turn into a matchmaking site.  guess i shouldn't be too surprised as all it did was bring people together who had some similar interests.

 

anywho, kendrat and i *met* on here and began chatting.  we realized we had more than just snowboarding as a common interest.  our backgrounds were similar, many of our views were alike and our hobbies and pastimes were similar enough to allow great conversations.  after finally meeting in person at whistler, we hit it off and now, here we are.  just back from our honeymoon and lucky for me, 4 days worth of sitting in a car with me and a week sharing a condo hasn't changed how we feel about each other.

 

to those of you who have shared all the fun times with us over the last 5 years, thanks.  you are all awesome!  hopefully there will be many more memories made!

 

thought i'd include a few favourite photos from the wedding....

 

 my new sister known as westcoastfvckup on here and oddity. eryn decided to see if the water in lake ontario really was as dirty as she had heard.

 

  i'm pretty.  i have flowers to prove it.

 

my beautiful bride's dress... very kendra.... and somehow made her look even more beautiful. 

 

 

 

 

 

as a car saleman i just have to say...

 

people, its not my fault that you bought a car that sucks... its not my fault that you finaced it over 7 years... its not my fault that your gas milage isn't good.

 

i'm getting pretty sick of hearing customers come into my store and getting mad at the situation that they have put themselves in.

 

here are a few points;

 

 if you don't have any money, don't expect me to get you financed. 

 if you can't afford a certain car, suck it up and get a cheaper one. 

 if you have 300000kms on your trade, don't expect to get 10 grand for it. 

 if you just went bankrupt, get something cheap, not new.

 if you are 6 months into a current lease, just keep it till the end(or at least close).

 if you have no intention of buying a car, don't take up too much of my time.

 if you are unwilling to allow us to attempt to make money, we are unwilling to sell you something.

 

 

and lastly... if we didn't sell you the current problem you are driving, don't blame me for it.

 

/rant

just realized i haven't posted anything new in forever... well.. maybe not that long.  but close.  i don't have my forever-th birthday for a few months still.

 

anywho, not sure if you guys noticed, but have you heard?... times are tough.  people can't afford their houses, cars are being repossesed, people are being laid off and banks... yes, banks, needed to borrow money from the government.  i thought they were the ones who lent money to people?  crazy times i tell you.

 

i thought i'd share some money saving tips to help you all out in case you are finding times tough. 

 

1. don't buy toilet paper... use yesterdays newspaper.  not only will it work at removing the feces, but you can get some gratification wiping shi*t all over that jon arbuckle in the garfield comic.... you aren't funny!

 

2. unplug your clocks during the night... i mean come on.. who needs to know what time it is while they are sleeping right?

 

3. encourage not cleaning up spilled food.  if you have cats, the mice the food brings in will provide free pet food.

 

4.  bring your rolled canadian pennies to the states to cash in.  that way, you'll get an extra 10 cents per roll with the exchange!

5. for christmas, buy people $50 gift cards for places that they rarely go to... that way, when they never get around to using it,  no one will even notice that you already spent the 50 bucks and just gave an empty card.

 

6. save on water by not showering.  not only will it save on the water bill, but you'll save even more when people refuse to accept your dinner offers.

 

7. learn to love e-bay, craigslist and kijiji... not just buying things cheaper, but you can sell not only old clutter at your house, but your re-found 'virginity'.

 

8. get all your drinking done in one night.  though it may not sound like a money saver, the next morning, when you wake up and say, 'never again', you have just given yourself at least a week before your next bender without having to hop on the wagon.  and on that bender, drink fast and on an empty stomach.

 

9. cancel that gym membership... come on now... its obvious you aren't using it fatty.  you aren't fooling anyone.

 

10. stop purchasing any type of prophylactic be it the pill or condoms, might as well be money in your wallet instead.  because after all... if you follow the other tips on here, no way does anyone want to sleep with you.

 

 

hope these tips help and if you are able to save a couple bucks, feel free to buy me a beer next time you see me.

today, i had the whole morning off... to do some errands... clean a little... maybe play a game or two... perhaps even have a pint seeing as its st. paddy's day.  figure my work would forgive me seeing as its a special occasion...

 

then, at 11 o'clock (4 hours prior to the start of my sales shift), i get a call from my work saying one of my customers is in and wants to buy a truck......

 

...shi*t...

 

but then again, i could use the cash, so i say i'll be there in 45 minutes if he can wait.  the guy tells me he'll wait for me.  so i drop what i'm doing and run into the shower not even pausing to shave due to the fact that its a 35 minute drive into work... so i get within 100 feet of the dealership and i feel my phone vibrating... turns out the guy just got a call and has to go... i missed him... by a minute... he left a message saying he'll be back at three.

 

so now i'm stuck at work over 3 hours early... 35 minutes from my house, so i really don't want to drive home so i could drive back again after an hour and a half or whatever.  since i hate the city i work in... i just sat at my desk reading... fun...

 

what do you know?... 3 o'clock has come and gone and my 'customer' hasn't shown up or called.  i put the word customer in brackets due to the fact he hasn't purchased a thing, therefore he is just a prick who has wasted my monday morning off.  thanks bub.

 

happy f*ckin st. paddy's day to me... i need a pint.

so as most of you have noticed... the site was/is having some difficulties.  whether its log-in boxes popping up all the time, the site being 'down for maintenance' or just odd little glitches popping up, it has definitely been annoying.

 

no matter what happens from now on, i'll be ok with it.  this site has provided me a place to go and just get away from everyday problems and boredom and to meet many cool people at the same time.  many of you i have actually met... some i have yet had the chance.  hopefully, if something does happen to the site that is more long term, i won't lose contact with all those people on here that i consider my friends.

 

over three years i have been a member of this site and an active member of its forums.  from my start, i was told i "wouldn't last long" and basically told i wasn't one of the 'cool' ones on there... fine... i wasn't too worried.  after all... its just the internet.  but then i started posting more, getting to know peoples' on-line personalities and they started to get to know mine.  i know that on-line, i am really no different than i am in real life, so in the back of my mind, i thought maybe some of these people that i got along with so well on here would be people i could befriend if i was given the chance to meet them.  that first chance came in montreal over two years ago... i was able to convince a couple of my "real" friends to join me and we went on a road trip and met up with dammitj, jc_the _mad_hatter, mr.king, glorytory, seb (forget his old handle on here) and a couple randoms.  we all got along great and it made me realize i would be happy to call some of these "on-line" friends, my "real" friends.

 

 

from then on, i became a very active member in the forums becoming the forum clown i guess... constantly joking and never really taking it seriously. (as i had said.. much like i am in real life).  i got another chance to meet a bunch of members on a trip to tremblant in april 2005.  there, i was able to meet and befriend more members who would become my sb.com ' family' as well as some great friends whom i hope i am able to stay in contact with for years to come.  meeting the infamous joe made that trip one to remember.  it made me realize that even though the person you talk to on the internet isn't there in front of you, or even within 4000kms, with world travel the way it is, you can still befriend them and know that it is nowhere near impossible to get together every once in a while.

 

 

for the next year or so, i went on multiple little meets with the east coasters from both canada and the US... cazza, zee_in_the_snow, dammitj, jc, o-henry, revived_suicide, funks_hybrid, rawstylus909, chrisjur, shreddinchef, soccerdiva, casualty, theoak, cdnmade and i'm sure more that i am forgetting. (later on, addictiveescape and jr. barns were to be added to our east family as well as a few that i have still yet to meet such as atomicsnowqueen, sixteen12 and others).  also, i was able to visit more members accross the country when i was travelling to alberta with a friend.  though most of those i have minimal contact with now, there are a couple that i talk to often and hope to see again soon such as kyleweevers...

 

 

 

 

this brings us to THE big meet... sure, i had been to meets before with almost 20 people... but this one was something special.  members from the east coast of canada, the states, the west of both countries, england, switzerand and more were all coming to whistler bc for the telus ski and snowboard festival.  i was lucky enough to share a condo  for different amounts of time) with moselle, robvalentine, board_stupid, rawstylus, cazza, dammitj, kendrat and our numorous visitors.  it was during this trip, getting to ride and party with all these great people that i realized how great that some of these people were... sure, they were all great, but some.. i was starting to feel like i had a connection.  something more than just an internet friendship... in fact, more than just any type of friendship.  after that trip, i kept in constant contact with most, but one member in particular... kendrat.

 

 

after chatting on sb.com, msn, and the phone for a couple months... both of us realized that there was something worth investigating between us.  we started to date long distance and visit each other in our respective provinces... after a while of this, we both realized we couldn't handle the distance.  after much discussion and to the dismay of my family and "real" friends in ontario, i made the decision to move accross the country and give our relationship a try.  we have now been living together for 8 months and things are great... we are planning another move soon and can't imagine being apart...

 

whatever happens to this site, it has provided me with more than just something to pass my long hours at work, or to keep me busy during long restless nights... it has improved my riding, it has allowed me to travel accross canada to meet over 75 new friends, it has given me people to party with, people to really talk to, insight on things from all over the world, fellow riders to share a lift with and allowed me to meet the woman that i love.

 

i'd say thats a lot to stem from one website community.  no matter what happens, thank you all for being here and i hope to catch up with you in the future!  if you read this whole thing... kudos!  hopefully it helped you remember any good things that you have gained from this site.  cheers!

 

 

so i moved out here december 30th... its now the end of may.  amazingly, my girlfriend and i are still not at each others throats and we still look forward to our evenings together... crazy!

 

so on the relationship front, everything is great... now job wise... not quite. 

 

for those that i haven't talked to in a while, i left the suit place... they were trying to make myself and the other assistant manager fill in for the manager since she left... but without any mention of financial compensation.  so basically, having us run the store for hardly more than minimum wage... screw that... add to it the fact that my co-manager decided to take a power trip and claim i was somehow trying to steal his job away from him... so i walked out... literally.  told him he can be manager and gave him my keys to the store.  haven't been back since.

 

now i just got off the phone with the owner of a company here in town where he was offering me a position with them that could have been fun and also made me some contacts in the hospitality industry... i turned him down.  instead, i'm going to keep doing roofing with a friend of a friend.  i feel like i'm not doing something to my potential at all... but i can't seem to find something that is that actually seems more enjoyable or more financially lucritive.  this job i was offered was setting up accomodations and (golf) tee times for some corporate and private clients... kinda neat since i love golf and travel... but i was going to make the same amount of money weekly as roofing but having to work a minimum of 5 hours more per week.  plus, its kinda nice to be outside...

 

so how dumb am i to not take the sure job?... the one with set hours, set pay, set location...?  instead, i'm never sure my hours or where i'm working, i definitely am at a higher risk of hurting myself... i feel almost embarassed to tell my family and friends that i'm roofing...

 

so what i need are some people to either tell me i'm dumb and should call this guy at the golf place back, or that i'm better off roofing... we'll do a poll!

telus last year was the first time i had ever

been to whistler... or bc for that matter.  i had a great time and made some great friends... (and maybe some who are a bit more than friends!)  basically, i had a great time...

 

 

 

this year, i was a little worried that it wouldn't live up to last year.  lucky for me, it was a great festival.  it was quite different than last

year but in no way worse.  got to meet some great new people, saw some members i hadn't had a chance to see for a long time, plus a couple friends from ontario were able to come out and visit and enjoy the ski and snowboard festival...

 

 

the riding was great... i was worried because last year, the conditions were great... i mean really... who expects powder days in april?.. surely not an ontario kid... now that i've had them two years in a row, i'd have to say its almost common! 

yeah.. nice powder...

 

this year, there wasn't the same parties... wasn't the same night sccene with the photo comps, all the different bar nights and such, but we all managed to have a great time pretty much every night anyway... at the begininning, it was obvious that i hadn't been drinking much lately... had a rough next morning (when i didn't make it up the mountain without having to stop and uneat my breakfast at the mid-point of the gondola ride)... but by the end, i was quite capable of holding my own amongst some of the drinkers... still don't want to come near a jagar bomb in the near future though...

 

 

 

this year a few people weren't able to make it (rawstylus, board-stupid, robvalentine, lakia, coco, poser, barry, etc...) but a few new ones were able to make an appearance.  it was great to finally get to meet a few of the regulars who i had been eagerly awaiting meeting. (cusano, meggo, reachben, mowgli, matti_non_swede, cp_safety,  pink_daizy, et all...)

 

 

 

 

so to all who were there, thanks for the memories, or loss thereof.. and to those not there... what the hell are you waiting for?

 

 

 

cheers to everyone that was there!!!!  and alright fine... even to those who weren't...  already looking forward to next year.

 

 

Edit:  as a note to some (tom!) two of those pics were from last year... showing a couple things that were different... 1) kendra and i just friends, and 2) going to the photo comp with mo and kendra... there ya go!

so i haven't been writing as much in these blogs as i used to... you're welcome.

 

i guess i should actually use this thing for what its purpose is... giving an update on my life.  so sorry to do it, but here ya go!

 

for those who weren't aware, i am living out in victoria now.  i have to say, the actual area is beautiful... the trees, mountains in the distance, the ocean surrounding you... but i gotta tell ya, the human aspect of the city isn't that impressive.  whether its the stupid road system, the expensive housing, the homeless problem, or the 'laid back' (read:slow) lifestyle... just seems like the human aspect of it has ruined what could be such an amazing place.  luckily, i didn't come out here to party or make millions so i'm still enjoying my time here!  my reason for coming here is still here and is everything i could have hoped for.

 

i'm working in haberdasherie out here as an apparel distributing engineer.  heh.. ok fine... i sell suits in a mall.  just thought that it sounded fancier that way.  i really don't mind the work coming from selling cars... at least here if someone wants to return a shirt... sure... cars.. not so easy.  plus, people are more of a pain to deal with when you are trying to get into their wallets for tens of thousands of dollars as opposed to a couple twenties.  the pay is not great, but it'll do for now.  i'm still keeping my eyes open for something a little more lucrative.

 

since i've been out west here i've been up to mt. washington 8 or 9 times and up to whistler once... so not a crazy amount of riding, but the days have been full ones and i can tell that i am a better rider this year than in the years past.  hopefully during telus we can get as many days riding in as we did last year... i think we got out there for 8 days.  that would get me feeling even more confident on my stick.  speaking of telus... thats one thing that i am really looking forward to!  i've got one of my best friends from back in ontario coming and staying with us, so it will be nice to catch up on all that i've been missing out here.  so for anyone who will be there at whistler in a couple weeks, looking forward to having a drink or two and maybe even get some riding in!

 

hmm.. what else can i fill you in with... oh, for those who read my blog regarding st. pattys... ended up going out and getting smashed at the club.. lost my coat, phone and glasses, attempted to walk home, fell and hurt myself and eventually passed out on my couch.  got my coat and phone back, but i was out of luck with the glasses.  i think i am the only person who loses their glasses off their face... multiple times.  most of my cuts, scrapes and other injuries are healed up now.. or at least close to and my new glasses are being made as we speak.

 

so there ya go... you are now updated.  well, mostly.  not that anyone actually cared, but i just had to put something new in my blog area and i'm not one to type one liner entries... not my style! (read: i'm long winded)

 

cheers! 

top o tha mornin to ya!

 

most people who know me know that st. pattys day is a big day for me.. usually involves taking the day off work and spending the entire day at the bar celebrating the existence of beer with my closest friends and eventually getting ourselves in quite a bit of trouble.  this year... my first living somewhere without a bunch of drinking buddies, is a little different. 

 

i had to work...

 

i have no friends who want to go to the pubs...

 

the friends i do have here want to go to a 'club'...

 

my girlfriend is busy and has to work early tomorrow...

 

i have no green suit...

 

so its not going to be the best night.. but i figured i've been here in victoria for almost three months now and i haven't been drunk since new years... i'm due.  so it won't be an ideal situation, i can't go st. pattys without a pint of the black stuff... i'm scared i'll get to the bar and they won't even have guinness... sooooo wrong. 

 

hope you all have a great one, and be sure to have a pint o guinness for me just in case i don't get to have one myself.  at least i have tomorrow off so i can recouperate if the need arises....

 

 

 

I'd like to thank everyone for the awsome birthday wishes AND presents that I got. I would specifically like to thank Shayboarder for the core membership, and Tooscoops and Kendrat for that kick ass box of goodies they sent me. It was an awsome to be had, with lots of funny actions to be said in chat while having some drinks. Thanks again everyone!

so the superbowl happened...

 

just for those who don't know anyway...

 

in other words... canadians...

 

it was a hard fought battle between two deserving teams and the better team won (sorry bears fans).  if only chicago had a real quarterback... no problem they would be wearing those fugly superbowl champion hats intead of the colts. oh well.. bears fans, just go to a third world country. thats where they'll have all the hats and shirts that that they made for the post party had the bears actually won.. get yourself a suvenir.  you may have to steal it from sally struthers though.

 

but more important than the game were the ads and the halftime show!  it seems that many 'fans' really just like the superbowl for the parties and the laughs they get from the commercials and the shock they usually get from the halftime show.  this year, with prince as the big midway marking act, i figured it would be a hilarious disaster... much to my disappointment, he actually did quite well.. probably due to him being quite smart and playing other peoples songs...

 

as for the ads.. some were actually pretty good... being canadian, i had to wait till after the game and i went on-line to see the 'real' ads... damn canadian broadcasting... no way would the ads actually affect what i purchase or what firms i choose... but they gave me a good chuckle... like this one... i had always wondered who took my stapler one 3 o'clock rolled around... GOULET!

 

 

and k-fed... not that he really will be hard up for cash (unless he gets a really bad drug habit... lets keep our fingers crossed people) but he has managed to get a job post britney...

 

 

and of course bud... they always throw a lot of money at the superbowl.. still doesn't make me wanna drink it.. but i'll admit they are good for a laugh... and they don't need to portray women as sex objects to have a successful beer ad.. whodathunkit?

 

 

 

 

anywho.. hope you all enjoyed the game, the ads, the halftime show the party....

 

or just the fact that it was a lazy sunday... ahhh sundays.

 

EDIT!!!! wiat wait wait!! i almost forgot this one!  and to tell the truth.. i will at least buy one bottle of sierra mist just because of this ad.. my way pf saying a little 'thank you' to the creative minds behind it...

 

well hello there!

 

fancy meeting you here...

 

whats that?  whats new with me?  well, let me tell you...

 

ok, thats enough of that.  that was my impression of one of those actors talking to the 'audience' at home... didn't work too well.  whatever.  so yeah, whats new with me?... lots of things actually.  i'm sitting here at work, counting down the hours i have left before i'm all done here.  the decision has been made, the plane ticket purchased and the parties scheduled.

 

i am moving west.

 

this past year i had a few huge changes in my life... pretty much all of them stemmed from one change on the relationship front.  due to that, i have put my recently purchased condo on the market, handed in my resignation at the family shop, informed family and friends of the changes, bought a plane ticket and tried to figure out what to put for sale, and what to store.  lots of important stuff.  and thats just the major items that have been on my 'to do' list.

 

so i'm moving to victoria bc.  i currently have no job lined up... no long term plan... no more car... no cash... and really no material possessions besides some clothes.  but i do have a girlfriend that will now be near at hand.  even without any of those things that i'm giving up, i'm happy and extremely excited, really looking forward to this new chapter of my life to start.

 

so to those of you that i'm leaving on the east coast, its been a pleasure and i'll miss you!  i'm sure i'll keep in touch and know that you'll always be welcome if you find yourself in victoria... just be sure to bring beer... oh and chocolate for kendra.

 

to those of you out west... some i've met, some i have yet to have the displeasure... looking forward to hanging out with you all more, getting some good riding in and braving all these crazy storms with you!

 

merry christmas everyone and thanks for all of you who have helped me in any way with making this decision... have a great holiday!

 

 

 

so i know what you were thinking... k-fed and britney were forever... mmm hmmmm.  right.  pretty sure that helen keller would have been able to see a divorce coming in that one.  i'm not one to really care about celebrity gossip, but i just find most of britney's life to leave me with this morbid curiosity... like passing a train wreck.. i just have to look in to see just how bad it is. 

 

now, kevin, to his credit.. managed to not only hook up with, but marry (therefore mooch) off of one of the top pop idols.. well... in history really.  that is one hell of an acomplishment for a no talent, fugly dancer who has no command of the english language.  good for you!  that is damn impressive.  even though he signed a pre-nup, he will be entitled to half their place plus some extra stuff.. totaling about 3.9 million.  not bad k-fed... not bad at all.  just don't go spending all that chedda on releasing a follow up rap album.  i don't think the 200 people who bought your last album will carry over and somehow make it profitable.

 

as for britney... smart move on the prenup... but still.. have you seen this guy?  he makes a squeegee kid look like a CEO of a fortune 500 company.  this is a guy who ditched his pregnant girlfriend to marry you.  to me.. that might be a bad start.  and i have to tell you... letting a guy know that its over via text message?  that is allllll class.  i really really hope that she used some emoticons there... through in a :( or even better... ROTFL...

 

 

so heres to hollywoods top couple... umm... well, i've heard them called that.  i don't really care in the least.  but yeah... we should start a poll regarding just how messed up their two kids are gonna be... bad enough just having a combonation of genes from those two... but having to put up with the media circus?  yikes.  good luck with that one.

 

 

so that time has come... a day i thought would never come to pass... a day that will forever leave a hole in my heart and a piece missing in my soul....

 

yes.. bob barker has resigned from hosting the price is right.

 

whether it was his grandfatherly way of treating the contestants, his dirty old perv way of dealing with his 'beauties', his single-handed efforts to control the pet population, or the way he kept you guessing whether a car was hidden behind that dinette set, he was a man that you just had to admire.  i mean, other then hugh hefner, no old decrepit man had so many beautiful women constantly around him.  although he did have to deal with a few wackjobs...

 

 

the price is right is a part of every north amercian... as a child, watching to see the pure excitement on the winners faces... as an adolescent trying to learn the costs of things in theever changing world... as a high college student trying to both check out the rack on holly as well as see what the munchies are going to cost you when you send out your roomate for supplies... even as an adult you wanted to watch... it was like seeing the panel of jerry springer making complete idiots of themselves, and it makes you just feel better about yourself.

 

 

 

so bob... my hat is off to you.  i figured you would be host until the day you died on the set... happy retirement to the man who has been kissed on the cheek more than any man in the world... the show shall die with you! and again, in closing... another clip showing that high college students really do watch the show...

 

 

 

 

so flipping the channels this morning before work.. i caught a show i hadn't seen in a while... family feud.  watching it for 5 minutes made me realize why past hosts have gone so far as to commit suicide.  wow... some of those people are dumb... now, today, the winning family wasn't that bad at all. (the losing family was however, very stupid)... today, the problem was that the 100 people asked the questions must have been found inside a mental ward.

 

for example, 'what person has had a positive impact on the world'... and the one family gave answers of abe lincoln, george washington, gandhi and such... nope.. not up there... a couple up there though... bill clinton and oprah winfrey... come on people!  anyway.. just a brief thought.. and i leave you with this... a sublime moment on 'the feud'...

 

 

so i heard about this guy on the news yesterday and was going to just let it slide... but upon hearing about it again this morning, i just can't...

 

when you hear of panda bears, you might think cute, cuddly soft playful animals... well, if you do, you must have add... because you seem to have beed sidetracked before even the second word of this blog.... panda 'bears'... bears are big, strong animals that can seriously hurt people.  apparently some guy in bejing thought that pandas were like big stuffed animals...

so heres the story.. this guy gets plastered and wanders into the zoo wanting to touch a panda bear (you know... being so soft and cuddly).  so he jumps in the enclosure and tried to wake up the bear... when it gets startled and gives the man a little bite... so this smart guy, kicks the bear.  great move!  so the bear bites him again....

 

this is my favourite part...

 

the man then jumps on the back of the bear and bites the bear back... “i bit the fellow in the back,” zhang was quoted as saying in the newspaper. “its skin was quite thick.”  oh... my... god. 

i'm riding a furry tractor!  my lord... i hope this guy get kicked out of the gene pool.. lifeguard should have caught this guy a long time ago.  in case anyone is wondering, the zoo doesn't plan on pressing charges as they figure stupidity is punishment in itself...

 

so just a tip people... don't listen to cartoons and such in regards to animals.  how does this guy get off scott free and a sober professional steve irwin die when not even touching a 'docile' animal? wow... life can have some odd turns...

strange how things work out it seems...      

 

less than half a year ago, i thought i was finally growing up and starting to figure out what was going on in my life.

 

after spending too damn long looking for a place to live outside of my parents home... i finally found one that was cool... went through a bunch of crap to get it sorted out with the mortgage, bought all new furniture, painted the place, and got it set up.  then i firmed up my job which looked to be my career which provided enough cash as well as my car.  so hey!!  i had it pretty well figured out!  my own place, my own car(s), a decent job, lots of friends and family living close by....

 

wouldn't ya know it though... that same month i got possession of my condo a certain something happens and my entire outlook changes.  now, i plan on selling or renting my place, quitting my job (even though they have offered me more money and less hours), selling my car and leaving the province that has my friends and family.  amazing how doing all this has effected me... even knowing all that i'm leaving behind... i'm happy. 

 

am i completely nuts?.. my friends are starting to think so, my family definitely thinks so and the people at work think i am certifiable. 

 

so what is something that is 'ok' to move for?... a job?  yeah... i know lots of people who will do that... a significant other?... don't see why not.  housing opportunities? hmmm.. maybe not... what do you think?  i know some of you have a pretty good idea why i'm going... you think i'm an idiot?

 

lets have a poll!

lately, i've noticed that i get a tad bit pissed off at people... not just random people of course.  its not like tourettes or something where i just scream at some random passer by that they are worthless pieces of shi*t who should be forced to smell old ladies bicycle seats on hot days... no, nothing like that.  but those people who think rules don't apply to them... that somehow feel they are better than every other person out there.  those are the people who are starting to get on my nerves.

 

what brought this up was a recent flight i was on.  the flight itself was fine, but there were more than a few people who were just plain a**holes.  whether it was the little old lady beside me with her knitting needles who thought it should be obvious that she wasn't a terrorist, or the guy who brings all his luggage as 'carry-on', and then has the audacity to complain that the guys at the security checkpoint are too slow.... COME ON!!! if you weren't such a douche and make them have to go through all your crap, they could move a lot faster!  these are the same type of people who bring 20-odd items into the 16 or less lane at the grocery store... do you think each person in line behind you isn't boring holes into you with their eyes?  and yes.. admit it... you all count other peoples stuff in those lines!  i know i'm not the only one...

 

what is it that makes people think they are above the rules?  what makes them automatically think that these are just guidelines or suggestions that can be dismissed?  do they think they are smarter than other people, or do they simply not care that everyone else tries to follow these rules even though it may take a little more time force us to put in a bit more effort?  a**holes...

so as with most of north america, here in ontario, we are having a bit of a heat wave... so i thought i'd share some tips that i have started to use....

 

1) for those of you in the states... purchase a celcius thermometer... rarely is that thing going to go over 35 degrees...

 

2) heat rises... so find a hole and crawl into it... or fall into a well.  just be sure that you can escape said well, because i'm not fishing your ass out.

 

3) if at all possible, cause the sun to collapse upon itself and form a black hole.  sure this may not be a great long term plan, but what the hell... i'm hot damn it.

 

4) if you absolutely must have sex... be sure to make the bitch do all the work.

 

5) close the shades on the sunny side of your house during the day.  well, that one is more just for the old folks home accross the way.. and not really for heat.. i'm just sick of seeing your old wrinkly asses.

 

6) avoid alcoholic beverages... expecially if you are at my house you cheep f*ck.. bring your own.  i'msick of your mooching.

 

7) if you have to go out in the sun, avoid wearing clothes (this one only applies to certain members of the population... such as the girl who lives in 301 in my building and other similarly built female specimins.)

 

8) if and when you pass out during your walk home from the bar, be sure to fall asleep either under a park bench, or plan on getting up before the sun rises.

 

9) when leaving a child or animal in the car while parked... be sure to check in on it every 30 minutes or so to baste and/or rotate to ensure its evenly cooked.

 

10) when chatting up people at the bar, its best to let certain things slide into the conversation such as, "so whereabouts is your cottage?", "god i'd love to be alone with you in a bedroom with some airconditioning", and "its not contageous right?". (the last one is not really for heat...)

 

 

so i hope that helps some of you... oh, as a note.. if anyone is swinging by my place to visit... better give me some warning because i'll be buck nekkid in front of a fan...

this morning on the way into work i heard about an interesting story... it involved a couple... drinking... driving.. and missing arms.

 

it would seem that this drunk couple had a fight and the man left the girl on the side of the road... in a few minutes, he felt some remorse and went back to pick her up.  she was still where he left her only sitting down in the ditch.... and, this is the kicker,... she was missing her arm.  it was nowhere to be seen.  the lady apparently had no idea what happened and didn't even know it was gone.

 

this just amazes me.  i have been very drunk before as many of you know.  and i have lost many things... my glasses, my house, my dignity, my virginity... but an arm?.. come on now!  thats crazy!  even when i lost my dignity, i knew when it was happening... how drunk do you have to be before you don't notice something like your arm being cut off?!  i actually looked it up on the internet to see if there was more to the story, only to find multiple cases involving the words "drunk", "loses", and "arm"... but at least all those ones knew what was happening to them... be it feeding cookies to polar bears in the zoo while intoxicated, or attempting to get on a train and getting caught in the door... at least they cried out and knew that something was wrong.  in this case... there aren't even any charges laid because there is absolutely nothing known about the incident... this case is so nuts that the cops don't even seem to care that the whole incident involves a drunk couple, getting into their car after the bar and driving away... last i checked.. that wasn't quite allowed.  in this case it seems they are just thinking.. "oh, what the f*ck.. the crazy bitch lost her arm.  i am not telling her she now has a drunk driving charge.  i'd have to take off both her legs before she stopped coming at me..."

 

so let that be a lesson to you kids out there... if you are going to get wasted, always two fist it.  that way at least you'll notice if you lose a limb... plus, you always seem to know who took your beer while drunk, so at least you should be able to track down that limb... oh, and as a tip... put the arm in the cooler or next to the keg while you finish drinking... then, maybe they can reattach it when you get around to swinging by the hospital the next day.. if you have time that is.