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BASIC INFO...

name?
age?
birthday?

current location?
eye color?
hair color?
height?
piercings?
tattos?
FAVORITES....
color
number
food
actor
music
THIS OR THAT...
pepsi or coke?
BK o Mc Donalds?
football o basketball?
strawberry or watermelon?
hot chocolate or coffe?
summer or winter?
hugs or kisses?
chocolate or vanilla?
cats or dogs?
love or money?
MY...
bed time?
first thought waking up?
goal for this year?
best friends?
fears?
IN A GUY OR GURL...
hair color?
eye color?
hieght?
wieght?
hot or cute?
drugs or alcohol?
musculer or really skinny?
long or short hair?
piercings?
tattos?
LOVE...
are you in love?
single, taken or divorced?
kiss on the first date?
sex on the first date?
go on pity dates?
belive in love at first sight?
first love?
RANDOM...
country you would like to visit?
do you want kids?
smoke?
drink?
shower daily?
been in love?
do you sing?
want to get married?
have future kids names planned?
hate anyone?
FILL IN THE BLANKS...
i am...
i love...
my heart is...
i wish...
i want to be...

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Every once in a while, usually when my friends stop hanging out with me because of the smell, I take the time to do some laundry. Recently I decided it was time to wash my good old Westbeach Sunset jacket. We'd had some good times but it was starting to smell a little too much like the outdoors so it was time to give it the old spin cycle. I proceeded to empty out the pockets in preparation for the washing procedure (faded cash and water logged iPods are not cool).

With my pockets empty (even those secret inside pockets... I didn't find any misplaced money unfortunately ), it was time to get to the washing part. Step one: find the garment care instructions tag. This proved to be a bit of a challenge since it was located somewhere beneath the powder skirt. Once located, I proceeded to read off the instructions:

• Machine Wash Cold with Like Colour

• Tumble Dry Low

• Do not dry clean.

Seems easy enough, but just to double check, I decided to flip the tag over to make sure I didn't miss anything (I only like good surprises). On first glance, it just seemed like the French translation of the afore mentioned care instructions (I love Canada) however, there seemed to be a little extra at the bottom: “Spooning is good but forking is better”. It took a second for this wonderful nugget of wisdom to register, so on second reading it occurred to me that sometimes the deepest of philosophies can be found in the most uncommon places such as garment care instruction tags.

Being a bit of a sceptic, I don't generally take what I read at face value. That being said, this seems like an easy enough postulate to verify. So I'm looking for research assistants to help me confirm that “forking” is in fact better than “spooning”. Compensation is commensurate to my research budget (which is pretty much non existent once condoms and beer are purchased). Willing candidates should send applications to:

The Institute for Useless Research (IUR)
69 Fornikature way
Whorina, Ontario, Canada
IB6 UB9

I hope to be able to further the field of useless social science and build on what I've already learned:

• Clean clothes make it easier to keep the friends that you have.

• Wisdom can often be found in the most unexpected places, including washing instructions.

• Vanilla yoghurt mixed with strawberry pop rocks is a tasty snack and a nutritional paradox (yes I know this has nothing to do with this blog but I like being random).

If interested, feel free to contact me, I'll be in my study (the crapper), or the lab (the chairlift) pushing the frontiers of science. Until next time,

Keep Shreddin' the GNAR!

J

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If Tommarow Morning The Sky Falls,have Clouds For Breakfast.

If Night Falls,Use Stars For Street Light.

If The Moon Gets Stuck In A Tree, Cover The Hole In The Sky With A Strawberry.

If You Have Butterflies In Your Stomach,Ask Them Into your Heart.

If Your Heart Catches In Your Throat,Ask A bird How To Sing.

If The Birds Forget Their Song,Listen To A Pebble Instead.

If You Lose A Memory,Embroider A New One To Take Its Place.

If You Lose The Key,Throw Away The House.

If The Clock Stops,Use Your Own Hands To Tell Time.

If The Light Goes Out,Wear It Around Your Neck And Go Dancing.

If The Bus Doesnt Come,Catch A Fast Cloud.

If Its The Last Dance,Dance Backwards.

If You Find Your Socks Dont Match,Stand In A Flower Bed.

If Your Shoes Dont Fit,Give Them To The Fish In The Pond.

If Your Horse Needs New Shoe,Let Him Use His Wings.

If The Sun Never Shines Again,hold Fireflies In Your Hands To Keep Warm.

If Your Afraid Of The Dark,Rember The Night Rainbow.

If There Is No Happy Ending, MAke One Out Of Cookie Dough.

By:COOPER EDENS


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halo2632: hey
halo2632: what up
jgardiner_1: not much
jgardiner_1: how can i help you?
halo2632: just seein whats happening
halo2632: how ru
halo2632: u know luvme 4 ever right
jgardiner_1: can't say that i do
halo2632: im her best friend weve chatted before
jgardiner_1: thats swell
halo2632: well u do cuz 'she always talkin bout u
jgardiner_1: is that so?
halo2632: didnt i just say that
halo2632: whats ur problem
halo2632: im just tryin to talk to u
jgardiner_1: i don't have a problem
halo2632: o well it seems like it
halo2632: sry
jgardiner_1: do you like pie?
halo2632: nope
halo2632: i only like sundaes
jgardiner_1: why not?
jgardiner_1: sundaes?
jgardiner_1: not even lemon mirangue?
halo2632: therey not sweet enough
halo2632: duh
halo2632: jk
jgardiner_1: you're wierd
halo2632: never had it y
jgardiner_1: don't like pie?  wtf?
halo2632: sry
jgardiner_1: what about strawberry pie?
halo2632: so what do u look like
halo2632: i like cherry better
jgardiner_1: so you DO like pie....
halo2632: not really
halo2632: but cherrys alright
jgardiner_1: lol thats confusing
halo2632: what do u look like
halo2632: describe ur self
jgardiner_1: i'm a homosapien with 2 legs 2 arms 1 head
halo2632: duh
halo2632: but or color of hair and eyes
halo2632: how tall
halo2632: omg
jgardiner_1: eyes?
halo2632: what
jgardiner_1: they're white with some black in the middle
*connection effed up*



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PUSSYCAT1407: wtf
PUSSYCAT1407: u r an ass lol\
jgardiner_1: now what?
PUSSYCAT1407: why did u leave
jgardiner_1: to make my life complete
jgardiner_1: plus i had to doodie
PUSSYCAT1407: ewww didnt need to know that
jgardiner_1: well now you do know
jgardiner_1: everyone poops, don't be ashamed
PUSSYCAT1407: i know
jgardiner_1: then you shouldn't be that disgusted by it
PUSSYCAT1407: nvm
jgardiner_1: do you like pie?
jgardiner_1: don't be scared, its not a trick question
PUSSYCAT1407: umm ya
jgardiner_1: whats your favorite kind of pie?
PUSSYCAT1407: ummm cherry?
PUSSYCAT1407: i guess
jgardiner_1: you don't sound too sure about that
jgardiner_1: are you sure its not strawberry?  or lemon marangue?
PUSSYCAT1407: well ya but its kind of a wierd (q)
PUSSYCAT1407: its cherry
jgardiner_1: is that your final answer?
PUSSYCAT1407: yesa why?
PUSSYCAT1407: yes*
jgardiner_1: just making sure
jgardiner_1: do you ever wonder what makes the sky blue?
PUSSYCAT1407: ok
PUSSYCAT1407: umm no but i bet u do huh
jgardiner_1: no, but i really wanted to know
jgardiner_1: why don't you know....don't they teach that in school these days?
PUSSYCAT1407: idk
PUSSYCAT1407: i dont pay attention
PUSSYCAT1407: jk
jgardiner_1: so anyways....these 3 jews walk into a bar....micheal jackson
jgardiner_1: get it?
PUSSYCAT1407: duh hahahaha
jgardiner_1: you so didn't get it.....don't even pretend
jgardiner_1: have you ever laughed so hard rice shot out of your nose?
PUSSYCAT1407: no
PUSSYCAT1407: and no i dont get it
jgardiner_1: what do you think life would be like without 9 irons?
jgardiner_1: no comment?
PUSSYCAT1407: idk is ur name joe?
jgardiner_1: it could be...why?
PUSSYCAT1407: do u have a gf named bailey?
PUSSYCAT1407: u bitch
PUSSYCAT1407: she just cussed me out cause of u
jgardiner_1: did she really?
jgardiner_1: nah, she's my stalker
PUSSYCAT1407: can u tell her that plz
jgardiner_1: i've tried....you know stalkers
jgardiner_1: they just don't quit and can be bi-polar sometimes
PUSSYCAT1407: hahha she said to go to work and stop being a shumper!!!
jgardiner_1: how do you know about shumping?  who told you?
PUSSYCAT1407: she did
PUSSYCAT1407: what is it?
jgardiner_1: i can't tell you
jgardiner_1: its top secret KAK terms
PUSSYCAT1407: plz tell me
jgardiner_1:you gotta achieve elite whore status before i can tell you
*PUSSYCAT disconnects*

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this week has been mostly boring but 2morrow =]=] ali is gonna pierce my cartalidge and then after school i hope im goin to manthas w/ cara n caitlin if everything goes good, and that will deff be funnn! and then sat is cjs party and were goin to newport, cara is just gonna hide her face or somethin hah. my sunburn is all tan now, good hah but i have a farmers tan, o welllll. caitlin joined tennis =] hah shes pretty good too like me n caras level which is low but good for never playin b4. ill proly get my phone taken 2morrow cuz i had a C in math from 3rd quarterrr. and jo gave us a D on our scrapbook! whata bitch, it was cuz we used a lighter and sat on the statue and in the canoe and apparently we werent supposed to. we rote on the back that she was grading our scrap book not our leadershippp. but i got  a B overall.
<3
strawberry winee

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------------------------------------------------------------

ALL DIFFERENT KINDS OF MARIJUANA

Indian Haze

Indica skunk 

Malawi Gold

Mexican Sativa  

Northern Lights  

Original Haze

Skunk Haze

Skunk No. 1

White Widow
Big Bud

Afghani

Super Skunk

Haze

Titan Strain

Turpentine

Quazard

Blueberry

Chronic

AK-47

S.A.G.E.

NYC Diesel

Mango

God Bud

Lethal Purple

Ultra Skunk

Atomic Haze

Atomic NL

Atomic Shiva

Nepal Baba

Thai Lights

California Orange

Delta 9

Dreamweaver

Durban Poison

Euforia

Green Spirit

Khola

Master Kush

Mazar

Oasis

Orange Bud

Voodoo

Original Flo

Power Plant

Skunk Passion

Skywalker

Strawberry Cough

Super Haze

Black Domina

Double Gum

First Lady

Fourway

Hawaiian Indica

Hindu Kush

Hollands Hope

Indoor Mix

Jack Flash

Jack Herer

Maple Leaf Indica

Mothers Finest

Mr. Nice

Neville’s Haze

NL#5 x Haze

OK’e 47

Sensi star

Shiva Shanti

Silver Haze

White Haze

White Skunk

Akorn

Big Fatty

Bubblegum

Chocolate Chunk

Heavy Duty Fruity

Kal-x

Mendocino Madness

MK-Ultra

Mr. Bubble
Sage’n’Sour
Skunk XXX

Stinky Pinky

The Hog

Kali Mist

White Russian

California Sunrise

Early Durban

Fumar Con Dios

Mixed Sativa Divas

Pot-o-Gold

Royal Orange

Swazi Safari

Thai-Tanic

The Pure

The Real McCoy

Amethyst Flame

Big Kahuna

Buddha’s Sister

Haze Heaven

Kahuna

Lavender

Reclining Buddha

Rock Bud

Somango

Early Queen

Sh*t

Super Silver Haze

Blue Thunder

Flow

Gardener’s Choice

Kwik Kali

Mangolian Indica

Matanuska Mist

Matanuska Tundra

NL# 9

Peak 19

Slyder

Special K

Stonehedge

Stuporsonic

Western Winds

Worderberry

Yumbolt

AK48

Aurora Indica

B-52

Blue Mystic

Bubblicious

Citral

Crystal

Ice
Jock Horror

K2

Misty

Moroc x Afghani

Nirvana Special

Afghani Special

Brasil x K.C.

Crystal Paradise

Cryber Cristal

Haze Special

K.C. 36

K.C. 33

Leda Uno

Mango

Mind Bender

Northern light special

Spontanica

SWISSxT

Belladonna

Durga Mata
Dirty Lady

Dutch Dragon

Magic Bud

Nebula

Sheherazade

Sugar Babe

Sweet Purple

Ambrosia

BC Big Bud

Blueberry x God

Chemo

Citrus Skunk

Bunker Bud

Dutch Treat x God

Dutch Treat x Skunk#1

God’s Treat

Sapphire Star

Brenda’s Skunk x NL

Dutch Treat

Dutch Treat x Hash Plant

Dutch Treat x K3

LOTS MORE THAN THAT
 

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[Chorus]
I'm the Fireman
Fire, Fa, Fireman
I got that fire I'm hollering
I got that fire come and try me and
You can spark it up and I'ma put you out
You can spark it up and I'ma put you out

[Verse 1]
Ain't nobody f**kin with me man, Heatman
Ski Mask spending next weeks cash, he fast
And I don't even need a G pass I'm pass that
I'm passing em out now and you can't have that
And my chain Toucan Sam
That tropical colors you can't match that
Gotta be abstract
You catch my gal legs open betta smash that
Don't be surprise if she ask where the cash at
I see she wearing them jeans that show her butt crack
My girls can't wear that why that's where my stash at
I put my mack down that's where you lack at
She need her candlelit and I'ma wax that
I rekindle the flame
She remember the name
It's Weezy Baby January December the same
Mama gimme that brain
Mama gimme that good
Cause I'm the fireman
You hear the firetruck

[Chorus]
I'm the Fireman
Fire, Fa, Fireman
I got that fire I'm hollering
I got that fire come and try me and
You can spark it up and I'ma put you out
You can spark it up and I'ma put you out

Fresh on campus it's the Birdman Jr
Money too long teachers put away ya rulers
Raw tune not a cartoon
No shirt, tattoos, and some war wounds
I'm hot but the car cool
She wet that's a carpool
Been in that water since a youngin you just shark food
Quick Draw McGraw I went to art school
Yeah the lights is bright but I got a sharp fuse
Don't snooze
Been handling the game so long my thumb bruise
Ya new girlfriend is old news
Yeen got enough green and she so blue yeah
Cash Money Records where dreams come true
Everything is easy baby leave it up to Weezy Baby
Put it in the pot let it steam let it brew
Now watch it melt don't burn ya self

[Chorus]
I'm the Fireman
Fire, Fa, Fireman
I got that fire I'm hollering
I got that fire come and try me and
You can spark it up and I'ma put you out
You can spark it up and I'ma put you out

Ridin' by myself well really not really
So heavy in the trunk make the car pop-a-wheelie
Who? Weezy Baby or call me Young Baby
My money 360, you only 180
Half of the game too lazy
Still sleepin' on me but I'm bout to wake em
Yep! I'm bout to take em to New Orleans and bake em
Yeah it's hot down here take a walk with Satan yeah
Come on mama let The Carter make ya
Toss ya like a fruit salad strawberry crape ya
They ball when they can and I'm ballin' by nature
Addicted to the game like Jordan and Peyton
Yall in a race and me I'm at the finish line
They running foot too long it's time to gimme mine
Straight down ya chimney in ya living room is I
Weezy allergic to wintertime

[Chorus]
I'm the Fireman
Fire, Fa, Fireman
I got that fire I'm hollering
I got that fire come and try me and
You can spark it up and I'ma put you out
You can spark it up and I'ma put you out 

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#6

Well this second part was much better. However,the flight from chicago to seattle was super bloody long! ohhhh did my legs hurt. I think it was about 4 hours. Oh well, i lived. It's already our last day in Vancouver but ill go over what we did the past couple days.

Well, after the flight to seattle we rented a car and headed off to Vancouver. We got in at about 2:30pm western time. It was pouring rain outside but i didn't notice much seeing as i was fast asleep in the backseat. Remember, at this point i only had an hour and a half of sleep =P terrible. Anyways, after awhile we started getting hungry so we stopped at an IHOP(omg i love IHOP even when im half asleep). The waitress lady was really cool cause i ordered chocolate milk, except it wasnt very chocolaty,and she saw it and was like oh man ill be back, and she made it SUPER chocolatey. However, it was just too much for me, so i only had a couple sips . Mmmmm and i had the belgium waffle with whipped cream and strawberries and strawberry sauce ohhhh man yum yum. They have the best waffles ever, it's all i get when i go there.

After IHOP, we continued driving and made our way to Vancouver. Again i was fast asleep through the drive. We got to our hotel and passed out. The next thing i knew, it was the morning and i had gotten 12 hours of sleep, yet it was only 9am. The jet lag sure got to me cause i was tired all day and i was beginning to catch a cold. I've suffered the last two days with a sore throat, but i've had medicine so it's really not that bad. So after we woke up, we had our freeeeee breakfast(everything is so much better when its free) and we headed over to the UBC campus. We just drove around it for a bit to see what it looked like and such, we didnt wanna look too much cause we were going on a tour the next day.

After driving around the campus, we headed off to the Capilano Suspension Bridge. It was sooo cool. And yes, i did jump on it. And yes, i lived. Across the bridge as well, there were more suspended bridges in the trees. Oh how i love to jump on suspension bridges. Anyways, it was crazy cool and we walked around there for awhile. After going to the cool bridge place we headed towards Grouse Mountain. This was a place to snowboard, however, there was barelyany snow. But i got to go on my first gondula(s/p?) ride. It was fun, and the people who worked there made me laugh cause they were obsessing over the word "Majestic". Oh how i love British Columbia. Up at the top of the mountain it began to rain so we decided to head into the lodge andhave a bite to eat. And let me tell you, they have GOOD hot dogs. 

So anyways, after the bridge and the mountain we went and drove around in Stanley Park. I mean its pretty in the winter, but imagine it in the summer. No rain! So after touring the park we came back to the hotel and checked to see if we could get tickets to the Canucks vs. Flames hockey game. They had tickets, but they were a wee bit expensive. $120 each to be exact. It sucked that we couldnt go, cause im canadian yet ive never been to a hockey game before. 

When supper time came around, we went to this fancy pantsy seafood restaurant. All the stuff on the menu did not appeal to me, but they had bbq back ribs and those sounded just perfect. My parents of course had to have fish, which they did, but they'll eat anything. After our fancy pantsy supper, we came back to the hotel and watched Trading Spouses(my choice) haha what a damn good show. It had this crazy lady who was reading french childrens books to these kids who were like 17 years old. Crazy moms make me laugh. However, im glad my mom isnt TOOOOO crazy. And she can cook, thats a bonus.

So it turns out Vancouver is awesome so far and i love it. Well im too lazy to write out what happened today so ill leave that for tomorrow. My moms feeling great and ive got a little cold, but life is good. We're even talking about going to Calgary to check out that University next. Hopefully its good but then again that would put me in the tough position of choosing between UBC and U of Calgary.-sigh- oh well. So thats my trip so far. Stay tuned for part three, it shall be posted eventually.

And im spent...  

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Hash Plant   
Hawaiian Skunk
Hindu Kush Skunk

Indian Haze

Indica skunk 

Malawi Gold

Mexican Sativa  

Northern Lights  

Original Haze

Skunk Haze

Skunk No. 1

White Widow
Big Bud

Afghani

Super Skunk

Haze

Titan Strain

Turpentine

Quazard

Blueberry

Chronic

AK-47

S.A.G.E.

NYC Diesel

Mango

God Bud

Lethal Purple

Ultra Skunk

Atomic Haze

Atomic NL

Atomic Shiva

Nepal Baba

Thai Lights

California Orange

Delta 9

Dreamweaver

Durban Poison

Euforia

Green Spirit

Khola

Master Kush

Mazar

Oasis

Orange Bud

Voodoo

Original Flo

Power Plant

Skunk Passion

Skywalker

Strawberry Cough

Super Haze

Black Domina

Double Gum

First Lady

Fourway

Hawaiian Indica

Hindu Kush

Hollands Hope

Indoor Mix

Jack Flash

Jack Herer

Maple Leaf Indica

Mothers Finest

Mr. Nice

Neville’s Haze

NL#5 x Haze

OK’e 47

Sensi star

Shiva Shanti

Silver Haze

White Haze

White Skunk

Akorn

Big Fatty

Bubblegum

Chocolate Chunk

Heavy Duty Fruity

Kal-x

Mendocino Madness

MK-Ultra

Mr. Bubble
Sage’n’Sour
Skunk XXX

Stinky Pinky

The Hog

Kali Mist

White Russian

California Sunrise

Early Durban

Fumar Con Dios

Mixed Sativa Divas

Pot-o-Gold

Royal Orange

Swazi Safari

Thai-Tanic

The Pure

The Real McCoy

Amethyst Flame

Big Kahuna

Buddha’s Sister

Haze Heaven

Kahuna

Lavender

Reclining Buddha

Rock Bud

Somango

Early Queen

Sh*t

Super Silver Haze

Blue Thunder

Flow

Gardener’s Choice

Kwik Kali

Mangolian Indica

Matanuska Mist

Matanuska Tundra

NL# 9

Peak 19

Slyder

Special K

Stonehedge

Stuporsonic

Western Winds

Worderberry

Yumbolt

AK48

Aurora Indica

B-52

Blue Mystic

Bubblicious

Citral

Crystal

Ice
Jock Horror

K2

Misty

Moroc x Afghani

Nirvana Special

Afghani Special

Brasil x K.C.

Crystal Paradise

Cryber Cristal

Haze Special

K.C. 36

K.C. 33

Leda Uno

Mango

Mind Bender

Northern light special

Spontanica

SWISSxT

Belladonna

Durga Mata
Dirty Lady

Dutch Dragon

Magic Bud

Nebula

Sheherazade

Sugar Babe

Sweet Purple

Ambrosia

BC Big Bud

Blueberry x God

Chemo

Citrus Skunk

Bunker Bud

Dutch Treat x God

Dutch Treat x Skunk#1

God’s Treat

Sapphire Star

Brenda’s Skunk x NL

Dutch Treat

Dutch Treat x Hash Plant

Dutch Treat x K3

Dutch Treat x NL
Dutch Treat x Purple Skunk

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UHM.

i really want pb and j right now...

strawberry of course... der.



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