Dear Dr. Shred,
As reported in a recent news article on Yahoo.com, a Massachusetts
sandwich shop is trying to prevent a burrito stand from opening by leveraging a clause in its lease that no other
sandwich shop may open in the same mall. This begs the question: is
a burrito a sandwich?
Captain Condiment
Dear Captain Condiment,
To answer this question, we first have
to define what a sandwich is. According to Wikipedia, a sandwich is
“a food item
typically consisting of two pieces of leavened
bread between which
are laid one or more layers of meat,
vegetable,
cheese, together
with optional or traditionally provided condiments,
sauces, and other
accompaniments.” This is similar to the
manwich which often involves a man (the meat) sandwiched between two ladies (bread) with optional or traditionally provided condiments, sauces and other accompaniments (a fun time often referred to as Wednesday night).
The word burrito on the other hand, literally translates to
“little donkey” in Spanish. The word donkey is also used in
combination with the word punch which describes an alcoholic beverage and a deviant sex act involving sodomy followed by a punch to the back
of the head (I don't want to get into the gory details here but if
you want to know, ask Dr. Shred).
As you can see, the differences between a sandwich and a burrito
are vast, and all things considered, I'd rather find myself
sandwiched between two lovely ladies than sodomized and punched in
the head. All this to say that a sandwich is NOT a burrito and it
seems that the
US justice system agrees
with me.
I hope this answers your question,
Dr. Shred
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