Mercedes, Spring Sample Sale, Lions...

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Group Name: Animal Nation Artists: Steige 'Tall Man' Turner, Mike 'Armadillo Slim' Armitage.

AS - And my refrigerator is filled with beer! (for a little while)

What’s your music background?

TM - I guess my dad used to play the drums. He was a studio musician for a while, but he hung up the kit when I was born, so I never really knew about that side of him until I found a drum kit in the garage one day. Jackpot!

AS - I don't have too much of a musical background besides the fact that I used to write a lot of poetry growing up. My mom tried to get me playing the piano and the violin when I was younger but I was too much of a rebel to listen to her. Momma's always right!

Who plays instruments?

AS - We have a house full of different instruments from slide whistles to potato shakers, but for the most part we just use them to jam out with. Steige plays the guitars and MPC and is getting good at the piano too. I just stick to the turntables and my voicebox mostly.

Take us through the process of creating a new song?

TM - We like drink until we blackout. That has nothing to do with creating a song, but we like to drink until we blackout.

AS - Its a really magical feeling knowing that you can create something besides a baby when you are drunk as a skunk and cruising in auto-pilot!

How do you guys get your beats? Do you create everything? Who is more into creating the beats and song flow?

TM - We gotsta do mad hutlez for beatzz! Sometimes we'll trade a beat we've made for a beat that we like that someone else has made. Sometimes we'll buy beats with money we've made selling our beats. Sometimes we'll make beats to use. Mike makes tons of beats, like a new one every other night. It's kind of ridiculous. He loves digging through old records and what not. I used to love the art of the chop (sampling), but I've gotten too much into listening to the music lately. And I always find it hard to sample a song that I want to keep listening to.

AS- The internet has played an integral role in the networking of Animal Nation which, in return, has allowed us to work with producers from all over the world. Hence the title, "TimeZone".

TM - As far as writing the song goes usually one of us will come up with the idea of the song, write a verse or a chorus for it, and give it to the other person. We'll pass it back and forth a few times, adding different parts, or changing the layout of a song, then record it. Recording the song completely changes the song. Halfway through recording you'll realize that you want to throw a couple instrumental bars in, or you'll want to take out the drum track for the second verse or something. Sometimes a song will take two hours to make, sometimes it will take two months.

What is your favorite song to perform?

TM - The corner of broadway. When we recorded it I recorded the entire song as a story, but when we do it live we go back and forth on nearly every line. It's cool to deconstruct and recreate your own music. Bop!

AS - I like to do the 'Aw Man Aw Well' remix produced by my man Matthias Relling in Germany. That one goes back and forth too and it relates to most people’s current financial situation. Cheery-O.

TM - I'm broke again! Aw man!

AS - Aw well.

What is a crowd favorite?

TM - I Never Cared (About the Troubles). That's the track right there! Scamp made the beat and it is amazing! We could have rapped about lasagna and it still would have been a good song. Although people seem to like that song we have about lasagna too, so who knows.

AS - Yeah that song pretty much appeals to everyone’s ear buds! Nuff said.

You guys have built your own recording studio at your place, how’s that?

AS - It’s awesome because we can do everything music related from our house but it sucks sometimes because we can’t always rock out as loud as we want due to the neighborly situation. Overall, it’s pretty convenient, though.

TM - People don't like harmonicas at 4 in the morning.

What was it like to be picked up by a record company? How is it?

TM - It was a thrill at first. Then we quickly started to realize that we could do everything that they can do, but we can do it without wasting time in meetings or wasting money on other people's efforts. I mean, I work 8 hours a day at my day job, then come home and spend another 8 hours doing music. I have no social life and I can't remember what kissing feels like, but at the end of the day we're the ones deciding how much we get out of it, and where we want to go with it. It rules.

AS - Yeah record labels pretty much suck.

You guys did a little trip over to Europe in the fall. How did people take to your shows?

AS - We got a great response from the Euro-Folk! People actually get into live performances and music in general over there. I just wish that all girls here looked like the ones in Denmark... DAMMMMN!

TM - I dunno man, the girls around here are pretty top notch. Too fine to give me any time, hah!

What’s the biggest/most publicity performance you guys have done?

AS - Thats a 3-way tie between the Telus Ski and Snowboard Festival, the pilot we filmed for MTV, and the morning news show we did for Global. The TWSSF was good because it was our first main stage act for a festival, the MTV pilot was awesome because all our fans/friends showed up to make the crowd rowdy, and the morning news was good because that was probably the biggest audience we've ever played for. Either way, they're all fun and games until somebody gets too hammered and needs to be carried home!

TM - Or loses two iPods on the same night.

Do you guys get to ride much?

TM - Dude! I got a pass super early this year because I was so stoked to get up on the hill, and I still haven't gone up once! Right before all the snow came I bought myself a fancy new guitar, so I've been spending most of my weekends locked up in the studio with my head in the clouds.

AS - I bunged up my shoulder early on this winter so I won’t be shredding again until spring. That’s ok, it’s not like this has been a good season or anything. NOT!

TM - Double NOT! Good luck untying that one.

Where can we hear your music?

TM - Check out our myspace page. That's easy. http://myspace.com/animalnation.

Where can we buy your music?

TM - Order it online at myspace for a hard copy, or iTunes for digital. You can get it in most indie record shops. If it's not on the shelves of your favorite record shop hold the place hostage with a butter knife and demand that they stock it!

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London – We flew into Heathrow and the plan was to catch a train to Jamies grandmothers house in Oxford but her house was flooded.  So we got a tube to Camden & met up with Jamies cousin David who agreed to let us stay for a few days.  The first night in London we met up with some of Jamie’s friends.   We didn’t really want to do any of the touristy stuff in London, but we did go the National Gallery and Trafalger Sqaure. The exchange rate for pounds to Canadian dollars was pretty brutal so we didn’t spend much.  We caught up with a friend from school, Nicole who was in Kensington.  We walked past Hyde Park but we didn’t go check out the Princesss Diana memorial, so I didn’t get the chance to pee in it.  If London wasn’t so ridiculously expensive I would love to live there, going to the pub for a pint is a great way to spend an evening.

Amsterdam – I knew this would be the highlight of the trip, I’d heard a lot of stories about what we should do and where to go in Amsterdam.   To be fair there is a lot of cool stuff to do if sex drugs aren’t your thing …. we did go visit Anne Franks house, and the Rijksmuseum which has about 1000 Van Gogh and Rembrandt paintings.  But my favorite museum was the Heineken Experience which lovingly tells the story of Hollands favorite beer with interactive displays.  As you make your way through the “museum” there are 3 different pubs where you get to sample the beer.  
The nightlife in Amsterdam is amazing, we went to Boom Chicago which is an improv comedy club.  I was surprised how everyone in Holland spoke English, and the Dutch have no accent.  It sounds a bit American and a bit English, but I would have a hard time spotting a Dutchman.
I wanted to check out a coffee house in Amsterdam, but I was not planning on trying any drugs.  We went into a coffee house on the first night & they had a menu of what you could buy – they had cookies and brownies and doughnuts, and hashie milkshakes.   I tried a brownie, it was supposed to be the equivalent of 2 joints.  I think I was more influenced from the jug of beer we had at boom Chicago.   On our second night in Amsterdam we decided to get a gram of marijuana.  I’m not an expert but it was good stuff.  Amsterdam has to be one of the most interesting places, the people dress like Vogue models.  The red light district was not as sleazy as I expected, it seemed pretty touristy actually.   I was surprised when Jamie suggested we go see a live sex show, I was happy to try anything & everything we could on our trip. It was just regular sex, a guy & a girl, 2 lesbians and then a jungle woman with triple-D boobs having sex with a guy in a gorilla suit.  It was something fun to do as a one-off, but I don’t think it would be something you would do every week, like instead of going to the movies you would catch a sex show.
On our last night in Amsterdam we met up with the rest of our Contiki group.  There were 50 people in our group, mostly Australians & New Zealanders and some South Africans, Canadians, Americans.  There were a couple of Brazilians and Tawainese too, so it was a good mix of people.

Munich – we were all pretty hung over when we left Amsterdam at 6am to drive to Munich, Germany.  Our tour guide was Rachel, a cool chick from New Zealand, she basically talked to us like a school teacher & told us we would have to stay with the group & leave when she told us or they’d leave without us.  We arrived in Munich at about 4PM, just in time to go see the Glockinspeil.  Rachel told us it was the highlight of Munich … basically it’s a huge cuckoo clock. It went for 10 minutes, and there were literally 1000s of people watching.  When the clock finally stopped chiming we went for a tour of Munchen.  In the middle of the city is a park where office workers go & sit and eat their lunch and take their clothes off … it was a nudist park!  We went to a beer hall in Munich for dinner, the very one where Hitler used to go to give some of his famous speeches.   German food is pretty good, the main course was literally just a pork leg … no vegetables, no side dish, just meat!  I had 2 steins with my dinner so I don’t remember miuch else happening in Munich, except back at the hotel half the group went to bed & half the group went to the bar for another drink.  Jamie and I met a local Munchen man who offered to buy us a drink, cos he enjoyed speaking English and just wanted to talk to us …. ahh ok we went to bed pretty quickly then.   We drove to Switzerland the next morning, but we did make a stop at the Dacchau concentration camp, they turned the original buildings into a museum. I have to respect Germany for not trying to cover up their darkest chapter in history.

Geneva / Lucerne / Zurich – the trip itinerary was very full, we spent a lot of time each day on the bus traveling to our next destination.  We arrived in Zurich at lunch time, it’s the one city in Europe that looked exactly how I expected & was looking forward to explore it.  Too bad Rachel gave us 30 minutes to see the city & have lunch …. just enough time to grab a McSwiss burger.  The Swiss Alps were beautiful and I definitely want to go back with my snowboard.  It was funny seeing the Australians and South Africans get excited about seeing snow for the first time.  In Lucerne we saw a yodeling demonstration and had a traditional Swiss dinner.  But the highlight of Lucerne was the hotel, which was basically overtaken by our group.  It’s where the group really bonded, and I leant heaps of new drinking games.

Cannes / Nice / Monaco – it was a long drive from Lucerne to Cannes, with a short stop in Zurich.  When Rachel gave the group the choice of having a quiet night at the camping grounds or going to Monaco we unanimously voted for Monaco.  Jamie & I were dressed up to hit the Grand Royale casino …. I wanted to order a vodka martini, Jamie wanted to bet 10∍ on black.  There was a 20∍ cover charge to enter the Grand Royale, so we hit the mini-casino next door.  Jamie was insistent that he was going to gamble in Monaco so he put 10∍ in the giant slot machine … and won 950∍! Back in Antibes we got a bottle of vodka to celebrate.  The funniest moment of the trip was in Monaco when Rachel pointed out Prinicess Stephanie’s palace to us, and Aussie Dave yelled out ‘jeez its bloody nice hey, I thought my house was nice but this is bloody beautiful!’.  We got to spend the next day in Cannes, you feel like a schmuck seeing all the sports cars and huge yachts and villas.  The only other interesting thing that happened in Cannes was a guy in our group nearly got arrested for taking photos of topless women on the beach.  There was a circus with lots of carnival rides next to the campgrounds where we were staying.  After a few beers a bunch of us went on the giant drop, it wasn’t until we got to the top when Derrick reminded everyone about the 13 year old girl who lost her feet on the same ride.  But we survived and went back to the huts for more beer and card games.

Barcelona  -  Spain was the last stop on our contiki trip.  I’ve always thought that Italy has the worlds most beautiful women, but Spain is a serious challenger to the title.  The architecture in Spain was amazing.   It was the groups last night & we went to a flamenco demonstration & to a nightclub which was I was looking forward to doing for the whole trip.  I tried Sangria in Barcelona, which was pretty smooth so I drank more and more.  Maybe it was the alcohol but everybody was pretty emotional about it being our last night, a bunch of us are planning on reuniting for another contiki trip next year.

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Editor's Note

Welcome! I am very pleased to announce the first issue of the iRant. Just in case you haven't noticed yet, the iRant is an online magazine.

Well, for this first issue, it's just me. But that's all right! I have already recruited one member, and possibly a few more in the coming days. The iRant is an uber cool collection of rants, as the name implies. Please note that all articles and/or rants belong to their respective owners and cannot be redistributed without their permissions.

Now that we got all that legal stuff done with, enjoy the rants and don't forget to live long and prosper with your hair!

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A Call For Writers!

Ya got that right! I'm looking for semi-experienced writers who are willing to write a few rants or articles every 1 or 2 weeks. Below are the jobs (well... there's only one) and requirements:

Description: Writes articles about random things. Can also look up random facts on the internet and write about them. Freestyle writing, basically!

Details: Contact me by email or pm. (Optional) Please send a short (but recent) writing sample written by you by email or pm. It should be at least two short paragraphs and no longer than a page, if possible.

Contact me by pm at: Snowboard =o

Contact me by email at: peuanthinsan@yahoo.com

Contact me by MSN at: happyyappy3@yahoo.com

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Limes Are Good

Okay, I mean, seriously. They are good. Here's what I do:

1. Slice the lime into 4 sections, starting from one side, then working clockwise across the circumference of the lime. (If you didn't understand that, JUST CUT THE LIME UP!)

2. Squeeze the lime into a cup. I prefer a small plastic cup.

3. Wash your hands with soap and dip your fingers into the juice.

4. Add proportionally-sized amount of salt.

5. Get ready.

6. Chug it all up as fast as you can.

7. Feel the burn of your esophagus.

8. Lick any remaining juice from the cup (this is where the small comes into play. You should be able to stick your tougue all the way to the bottom of the cup, too be able to lick every remaining amount of juice)

Delicious!

I also met this guy online who likes to eat limes. Well, actually I think they were lemons. We had this big argument about which is better? lemon or lime? Of course, I sided with lime. This is how he does it:

1. Peel the lime (OR LEMON *angry smiley here*)

2. Slice up the meat of the lime into small little chunks.

3. (Optional) Get a small bowl or plate and pour a tiny amount of salt on it.

4. Pop them in your mouth.

5. Feel the burn! Oh, yeah!

Good thing about this method is that you don't need a cup and you don't need to lick anything. Still, I think lime is much, much, much, much, better than lemons. Lemons are like... ecchk! Yuck! If you're too lazy, buy those plastic limes (or lemons) from concentrate. But I don't recommend it. It's not as healthy!

Speaking of that, not only are limes delicious, they are healthy for you! They have that kick to them that makes you jump up, but the aftertaste is sweet, especially when you add some salt. You can basically do anything with limes. They are the main ingredient of cooking! Without limes (or lemons), food would have no flavor, except with some salt. Unless you're eating Japanese food or something.

Apparently, it's healthy to eat food that is not flavored with salt of spices. That's why Japanese people live so long. Their colons are quite healthy! Although, I think Japanese restaurants in America are quite delicious. I LOVE JAPANESE THOUGH! It tastes great! Soy sauce is my best friend. How did we get from limes to Japanese food? Hmm... now that’s what you call a mindless rant. How did we ever get here? Geez! Let's go back to limes now.

Actually, I have nothing more to say about limes... they are very good and healthy though. Well, I guess that concludes this rant. EAT LIMES AND PROSPER WITH YOUR HAIR!

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RunEscape?!?! WTF?!

That is correct. Run. Escape. WTF?! So, anyways, here's to the story. I play a lot of RuneScape, right? In case you didn't know, RuneScape is a MMORPG game, a Massive Multiplayer Online Role-Playing Game. It's great fun for a while. But anyways, I've been playing so much that my parents started to get suspicious and asked me all these questions about it. What is the purpose of this game? What do you gain from playing this? LET'S STUDY FOR THE SAT FIRST BEFORE YOU PLAY! DO SOMETHING BETTER WITH YOUR TIME! LET'S PRESENT IT AT MY COMPUTER ASSISTED LANGUAGE LEARNING CONFERENCE IN JAPAN (yes, here comes Japan again) THIS SUMMER! Gah! sorry... where was I?

Ah, yes. So, I told my parents about the game and they asked me, what is it called? Runes-Cape? I corrected them with Rune-Scape! I mean, what is with that? The R and the S were so obviously capitalized (RuneScape), showing the start of the syllables! Okay, so they finally got it right for once. But they forgot. Oh, yes, they forgot! They kept calling it "game". "Stop play game!", "No game!", "DIE SPAZ MUFFIN PICKLE!" *cough*

So finally, they started using the name of "game". Which is RuneScape. Unfortunately... RUN ESCAPE?!?! WTF?! RUN. ESCAPE. GAH! Why do you old people never understand the terrible pain you have caused me with your anachronistic knowledge?! Yes, like I said, God invented dictionary.com so look it up. It infuriorates me! I am very angry. RuneScape. DO YOU NOT SEE THE BOLDED CAPITAL LETTERS? WHAT, ARE YOU BLIND?! No, I'm sorry I don't mean that, my beautiful, beloved parents.

But I bet some of your parents probably, at one point in time, if they ever heard of it, called it that. It's funny really, because there are a few ways you can split up "RuneScape" into syllables so that they actually spell out words. Rune-Scape, for one. Then there's Runes-Cape. And of course, the horribly dreaded RUN-ESCAPE! Gah I might as well collapse and die if anyone says that again. And my parents are English teachers! How could they not know how to pronounce a simple word like that? Rune! Scape! HOW HARD CAN THAT BEEEEEEEEE?!?! OH THE PAIN, THE INHUMANITY! (as Double-D from Ed, Edd, and Eddy say)

Anyways, that sums up my rant on... dun dun dun... RUN ESCAPE. Omgz it kills me to say that. But of course I'm not dead. Yet. Dun dun dun... a lot of people know where I live. And they are not exactly the sane type of people... oh godz, NO! NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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I Don't Snowboard

Seriously, I don't. I probably can if you give me a board and 3 months. I'm very athletic, ya know. I once threw a backpack across the bus and hit someone on the head, intentionally. I don't want to talk about it... =(. I DIDN'T MEAN IT I AM SO SORRY WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE THAT WAY!??! GAAAAAAAAAAH!

Anyone have a Kleenex? Oh, I have a box right here. I have a cold, you see. On the last day of school, we went to a state park for a field trip. I have another thought, but that will have to wait. The park had a natural waterfall and lots of kids were playing in it. I, not planning to swim, did not bring a bathing suit. Or a towel for that matter. But I wanted to swim. So, I took out my keys, iPod (an article about this coming up on the next edition), Sharpies, etc. out of my pocket and stuffed them in my backpack.

So, I waded across the water, only planning to get half of my body wet (the lower half). Anyways, considering that it was a natural waterfall, there were lots of rocks. Good thing I had sandals on eh? Bad idea. They did not offer enough support for me and I tripped on the rocks. Let's just say they (the sandals) can't curve around rocks the way my feet can. So, I was totally drenched, head in the water, ears clogged up with dirt. But I thought, now that I'm wet, who cares?

I jumped out of the water and started heading for the waterfall. I dramatically took my glasses off, holding them to the side, away from the water. I then put my head right under the water. Ahhhh, it was so refreshing. Unfortunately, since I had no towel, I was completely drenched for the next hour we were there, as well as the half-hour on the bus ride home. And well, that's how I got the cold.

Wasn't this rant about why I don't snowboard? Hmm. Well, back to that then. I don't snowboard.

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Closing Remarks

I would like to say, thank you for reading this issue and thanks for all of your support (not... yet.). It was very fun writing all of this and it got me almost 20,000 keystrokes on my WhatPulse (whatpulse.org! joinz!), which should propel me to a 2nd place rank in my team. I hope. Probably not, I haven't even checked there in ages.

Please contact me if you would like to help out with iRant! I can't keep on ranting by myself like this, it would get boring. Speaking of that, I would also like to thank boredom for all of its support, as without it, I would have never even thought about ranting. Then again, I rant all the time in my head. Half the time I don't even know what I'm ranting about. I just have random thoughts, ya know. Yea.

Well, I hope you enjoyed this first issue of the iRant. And as I have said before, live long and prosper with your hair!

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SPARKLING DREAMS

Fashion Show and Red Carpet Holiday Benefit

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