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Snowboard tech, it draws excitement for the season and like a new supercar, everyone wants the newest developments. The reality is most of us have limited funds so buying a snowboard is a big deal because dropping $300, $500, even $1000 on a deck is a something we have so save extra cash for. We all want the board that makes us honestly say "This is the best snowboard I've ever owned" Here is what the guys at Prospect have concocted and where their board construction fits into a long line of snowboards.

Reverse Camber "Tangent Tech" and Concave Base

Reverse camber has been established as boards that are great for park riding, powder riding, and great beginner boards. Although, just because beginners will like reverse camber it doesn't mean a hardcore thrasher won't like the same board. Prospect's "Tangent Tech" is a park and powder friendly board. The main factor is the camber height. Prospect's Tangent tech is designed for an optimal ride with the nose and tail raised by 5 millimeters. Boards with more reverse camber are great in powder, but unstable with any other riding. Less reverse camber improves riding stability, but reduces float in the powder and doesn't have that catch free ride.


Prospect's Concave base construction takes reverse camber to the next level. The base on the Tangent Tech lies deeper down the middle for the length of the board. With the edges sitting slightly higher it offers a catch free ride in the park. This means you won't stick to rails or catch a random edge. The goal of Tangent Tech is to offer a mellow reverse camber that performs well in both powder and park. Tangent Tech and concave base construction make Prospect's boards appealing to an audience that wants a "go to board" for all parts of the mountain.

 

 

Bamboo Sidewalls and Longer Effective Edges


All Prospect Snowboards offer bamboo sidewalls and longer effective edges for better overall control. The Bamboo sidewalls offer multiple benefits. Specifically it is lighter, stronger, and adds stability to the overall ride. Without getting too technical, bamboo is 25% lighter and its tensile "burst" strength is 2 times as strong as regular core material meaning more pop. Being set at the sidewall, the stiffer bamboo offers torsional stiffness and natural vibration dampening, leading to a faster, more stable platform. Bamboo is being used more in snowboarding not only because it of its high strength to weight ratio but it also lasts because it is continuously strong even when temperature drops. Neil Henderson, the owner of Prospect snowboards says "My goal was to make the fastest, hardest carving true twin snowboard available".

To accompany the benefits of bamboo sidewalls, Prospect's geometry stretches out the effective edge, aka contact points as far as it can go. This adds to the ride stability andactually provides the performance of a longer board. According to Neil, "It's like adding 2 to 4 cm of length without having to ride a heavier, longer board." The longer effective edge puts the contact points closer to the tip of the board giving your edges more surface contact to grip in turns. This means less washing out of hard carves and smooth, stable turns for maximum control. Together, bamboo sidewalls and the longer effective edge Prospect's boards offer harder carves and a ride smoother than other freestyle decks. Neil believes this sidewall and effective edge combination are the most underrated manufacturing techniques that contribute to his goal of making the fastest and hardest carving true twin available.

 


Rubber Dampeners and Strategic Carbon beams

Also underrated in the design of snowboards is rubber dampening, carbon fiber beams, and even more so their placement inside the construction of the board.


Prospect uses rubber in sandwich/sidewall snowboard design to reduce shock and vibration in turns and while landing big hits. According to Neil, rubber stripping is placed around the outside of the board and in the middle sections to act like a shock absorber. He says “Rubber placement is key to a boards ride because it turns the overbearing rigidity into smooth fluid movements.” His smooth ride philosophy on rubber dampening also contributes their boards lasting ride and overall durability. The way snowboards are ridden they are continuously flexed over and over again. Without sufficient rubber dampening the epoxy bonds break down leading to a lifeless board with no pop and it will eventually break. The rubber Prospect places inside the board allows small amounts of flex between the layers reducing wear on the epoxy bonds.


The Carbon laminates Neil puts in Prospect’s boards are common among most snowboards, but he believes his carbon “X-beams” also add to the boards ride. “Our X-beams are placed from the feet to the contact point at the edge. This allows Prospect to have lighter cores with added spring back. The carbon placement also contributes to their tensional stiffness, adding to the overall stability at high speed. Neil’s take on carbon fiber is: “We tried different carbon patterns, stringers, an “A” pattern on each end, Inverted “A’s”; the X pattern is the only thing that directly transfers power from your feet to the edge. There is a small sacrifice in low speed carving, but who rides slow?”

Seamless Edges, great construction, and great warranties

Also on the top of Prospect’s priority list is making bombproof boards. While no one should condone using a snowboard as a bomb shield, the fact is Prospect has developed 2 more ways to ensure Prospect is known as a brand that makes premium snowboards that perform and last. Neil’s philosophy is “I’m a product guy. I believe that the best products are better than the best marketing. Prospect isn’t a statement in style as much as it is a statement in quality.”

There is a few steps Prospect has taken to assure they achieve that quality. First, the Premier Special Edition Models have “Seamless edges”. Their edges are high carbon, hardened steel with no cut seam; a real 360 degree edge. This was developed to reduce edge failures from hard hits against rocks, trees, and rails. Second, the Two-part flexible epoxy serves as a dampening system, increases flexibility, and prevents delaminating. Neil’s take on Prospect’s epoxy system: “Our epoxy mixture adds a rubber like characteristic to the compound. It makes the boards tough as nails. “When we do Prospect Demos we always tell riders Hey, go break this board. We’re still waiting.”


Prospect Snowboards is on a mission to bring some killer decks to the table. They aren’t well known and they don’t dump their cash into marketing. Instead they stick to their mission. To drive home their point they gave all Prospect Snowboards a 2 year warranty and Neil Assures they stand by their warranty; if you break your board riding we’ll fix it free or you get a replacement if we can’t fix it. Good points, and Neil concludes by saying “Hey, ya know, we’re putting up a true effort here to bring out boards that pushes the accountability of a snowboard company. We listen to what each individual rider wants and we work to build that into our boards.”



Published On: 11/17/2009
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The hype is over: It's online. Stream it. Download it. Show people. And get stoked for the winter season.

Watch Voleurz Outdoor Education.


It's Free... 
This is a free film. Please download, burn, link and distribute to as may people as possible... but we ask that you do not sell this film.


A Message From the Family... 
"For our 2008 video project we set out to capture our Voleurz family in its rawest form. For years we've surrounded ourselves with the craziest, goofiest, most random personalities on the planet, and in 2008 we felt it was time to portray these people and the good times we share while shredding together.

Producing Outdoor Education gave us the opportunity to travel the country, meet new faces, witness talented athleticism, and stay healthy and sane. We are lucky people to be able to, and its because of the support from friends, family and sponsors that make our goals possible. We'd like to thank you for joining us in '08, and invite you to continue to be a part of next years adventure."




Published On: 12/10/2008
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A couple years ago, I fell in love in Jay Peak. An otherwise cold, windy and miserable day would also prove to be one of my best. There is something to be said about visiting places that were the setting for important moments of your life. Since November 22nd was set to be opening day at Jay, and due to the personal significance of the resort, I decided to get a car load of bros to go down there and ride.

Yeti, Marc, and Brad on the lift
The unusual suspects of the bro-down in Jay.

The road trip started out early, I picked up Yeti and Brad, and with Yahoo! directions in hand, we proceeded east for what we hoped would be a good day of riding (first for Brad and Yeti, second for me). The drive was mostly uneventful up until the Canada-USA border where we got pulled aside by the customs agent. He asked us if we were carrying more than $10,000 in cash (I wish we had that much scratch). I guess he wanted to search our stuff to make sure we weren't secretly part of the wealthy elite.

Normally a customs search would be no big deal, however, in this instance Brad really needed to use the restroom. So he asked the customs agent "do you guys have a public washroom in here?" To which the agent replied "It makes no sense for us to have public restrooms here because if you were smuggling drugs you could go flush them, or if we say something you don't like you can smear the whole place in poo." (no joke, he said that). Of course that's when we realized that Brad had probably set off a red flag with his request. Fortunately it didn't take long for them to search the car and they didn't make a huge mess of it. Once we were out of visible range of the border, we had to pull over to the side of the road so Brad could take care of business.

Yeti and random guy with identical gapers.
Yeti meets his doppleganger. What are the odds of seeing two of the same gaper.

With our urinal emergency behind us, we continued on toward Jay. However, we ended up taking a wrong turn (we turned up VT-105 instead of VT-242). Once that feeling of being in the wrong place set in, we decided we should pull over and ask someone for directions. Fortunately there was a pedestrian up the way. Yeti started joking how it was probably hillbilly with a shotgun. As we approached, we realized that this guy did in fact have a rifle slung over his shoulder. Not to be deterred, however, we stopped and asked him for quick directions. He confirmed that we had in fact taken a wrong turn and kindly directed us on how to get back. We thanked him and made our way. When we finally arrived at Jay, we were stoked to realize that it was snowing pretty heavily.

No sooner had we started unpacking did the gaper hunt begin. The first victim: Yeti. He decided to rock a purple one piece but because he does it in typical Yeti style, it had a certain panache that couldn't be ignored. However, Brad had been instructed before he left to make sure to spray a gaper wearing skier, so he looked at Yeti and said "expect to be sprayed."

Although Yeti's was the first, it certainly wasn't the last gaper we saw. In fact no sooner had we gotten our lift passes did we notice another skier wearing the exact same gaper. An instant friendship was forged.

For our first run of the day, we decided to go with the more difficult of the runs that were available to us. The snow was good but the moguls were large and the visibility basically nil. Which is probably why we hadn't noticed that we had ventured onto one of the closed sections of the run. This is when I fell in the creek (I seem to do this at least once a year). None the worse for wear, I tried to make my way back to the lift except I found the going to be tough (Yeti and Brad were already way ahead of me). That's when I realize that I have about 2 inches of sluch caked onto my base. I finally cleaned it off so we could resume our riding.

Yeti and Brad standing in the snow.
Gene Kelly sings in the rain but Yeti and Brad sing in the snow. The Jay clouds strike on opening day.

We spent the rest of the morning shredding up any run that was open until our legs were sore and our finger tips frozen. We decided to head inside for a while to warm up our fingers and take a bio-break. This is when things almost went south. While going to the restroom, Yeti's iPhone fell out of his pocket. He realized it was missing and we spent the next 15 minutes or so re-tracing his steps trying to find it. After asking pretty much everyone in the lodge if they had seen it, and only seconds before Yeti lost it and started throwing tables around, he realized that it had fallen into the hood of his gaper. Crisis averted.

The rest of the afternoon was a lot more of what we experienced in the morning: snow, lots of riding, some freshies, some gapers, more snow, and lots of laughs (did I mention it was snowing). At one point, while marveling at the heavy snowfall, we came upon a guy sitting in the snow, seemingly trying to fasten up his bindings. What was significant was that he was complaining that he wanted to go back to Delaware. I said "But there's no snow in Delaware!" "Exactly" he said which made me wonder what he was doing in Jay in the first place.

Finally when it was time to call it a day, we packed up all of our gear and made our way back toward the border. Four hours or so and 63 litres of fuel later, we made it back to Canada's capital craving massages and sleep. We were thankful to have benefited from the mystical Jay clouds for a truly epic opening day in Jay and to have averted any potential buzz-kill worthy crisis. I was happy to have gone back to a really important junction place of my life. The day was truly epic but at the same time made me realize how much I missed those who could not be there.



Published On: 11/23/2008
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Hey Everyone,

Just letting everyone know that the veryREALLY youtube channel is now live and will feature a new Webisode weekly(ish).  The Webisodes will peer into the sessions of our different crews all over Canada.  The tricks before the hammers, fun and bails.  Check back constantly for new updates and videos.

Check out all the footage at http://www.youtube.com/user/veryreallysnow .

Enjoy :)


Published On: 11/12/2008
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Random facts for today:
 
October 15th was the opening day for two mountains, Loveland Basin & Arapahoe Basin which means they tied for the First Open in North America.
 
Congrats to the two mountains in Colorado!
 

Jeremy Jones
has decided it's a good idea to protect his head with Bern brain buckets.
 
ELECTRIC launches new iPhone application that's FREE. You can find it on itunes or your iphone now. 


Published On: 10/17/2008
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New Video Player / Tshirt Idea / Kale Bananza / Mr. T



Welcome to our new video player! Over the next couple weeks we'll be uploading a bunch of new videos including new clips from Party Snake, Still B's footage, treats from Kale's upcoming Airhole video, and tons of fun random stuff. Stay tuned!


So I'm talking on the phone doodling and Bam!



Insta T graphic! Goto is working on a polished version as I type. Look for it in the 09/10 line.

Photo Bananza with the talented Mr. Stephens.

Kale Flying



Kale Wheelieing



Kale Flossing



Kale Corey Hearting



I forgot how hard Mr. T ran shi*t in the 80's.



I bet if you would of sat 50 Cent down as a kid and asked who he wanted to be when he grew up he'd have told you he wanted to be Mr. T. Good on ya fitty, you're just a tv show and cereal sponsor away from making your dream come true.

Published On: 10/9/2008
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The new 2009 Smokin Snowboards are in stock, and I know that a lot of people are especially curious about two boards - Mike Basich's brand new pro model as well as the M.I.P.

So here are some close-up shots showing the tip and tail shapes of both boards, a close up of the top sheet graphics, as well as one of each looking down the base to see Smokin's version of magnetraction.

Yummmm...

2009 Smokin Basich Magnetraction Snowboard



Fairly normal nose, but more of a squash tail



Nose



Tail



Pretty dope topsheet graphic......yay pow pow



A slightly more mellow version of Magnetraction....Smokin style





2009 Smokin M.I.P. Magnetraction Snowboard



Check out the long effective running edge and blunt nose



A close up of the nose...



Close up of the top sheet graphic....some cool random stuff on there for you kiddies....



Again not as pronounced Magnetraction.....




www.porterstahoe.com

Published On: 10/8/2008
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What started out as a joke for a crew of jiggly old shred dogs has turned into an international sensation with annual desk jockey showdowns at Grouse Mountain in Vancouver and Bear Mountain in California. Now thanks to 686 and Malakye the Office Booyz franchise has created its very own office friendly outerwear. Well not really, there's only a hand full of these bad boys in existence but if you can correctly answer the malakye trivia of the month you can earn a spot in the randomizer which makes you eligible to win this limited edition Office Booyz Jacket sure to be the envy of office dwellers world wide.

Duff hasn't made an appearance on the blog for awhile. Lucky for us one of his high school buddies sent over some yearbook pics for us to enjoy.



Its so weird, he has the same look in every photo. Here's a link to find some yearbook photos of your buds.

Youtube extravaganza!

Pissed off cat named burger and fries



Rubber face



Greatest American hero



Manners by Mr. T



Published On: 10/2/2008
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Online competitor registration is now open for the first-ever Burton Canadian Open, taking place from December 1-7, 2008 at the Calgary Olympic Development Association’s (CODA) Canada Olympic Park in Calgary, Alberta. CODA has been providing world-class sport facilities for Olympic development for 20 years and Canada Olympic Park is home to the exact duplicate of the halfpipe that will be built for the 2010 Winter Olympics.

The third stop on the 2008/2009 Burton Global Open Series and a SWATCH TTR 5Star event, the Canadian Open will include slopestyle and halfpipe competitions, offering riders the chance to earn a piece of the $50,000 USD prize purse and gain valuable points towards Burton Global Open Series championship titles and the Swatch Ticket To Ride World Tour championship titles.

Here’s how to register to compete:

Head to www.opensnowboarding.com, go to the Canadian Open homepage and click on Registration in order to register online for the Registration Waitlist. Registration will be open until October 20, 2008. If we receive more registrations per format than the number of pre-qualification spots available, riders will be selected from the Registration Waitlist based on their BGOS standings/results and their TTR standings/results, with priority given to the riders with the best standings/results. On or before October 27th, you will be notified VIA EMAIL (and only email) if your registration has been successful and that your entry for the Canadian Open Halfpipe and/or Slopestyle Pre-Qualifiers is confirmed. At that time, your credit card will be charged a non-refundable $75CAD per discipline as applicable. If your name is not selected, you will automatically be added to the waitlist (which shall be selected at random). Top pros will receive special invites to compete. For complete details/rules on the registration process, visit the Canadian Open home page on opensnowboarding.com. 

With events scheduled year-round and in six countries, the Burton Global Open Series boasts the most lucrative cumulative prize purse in snowboarding – over $900,000 – with equal prize money to men and women. All six Burton Global Open Series events offer riders the chance to earn points towards a male and female championship title, each worth $100,000, currently the largest single payout in competitive snowboarding. Following this summer’s New Zealand and Australian Opens, Luke Mitrani (USA) and Jamie Anderson (USA) are in the lead for the $100,000 Burton Global Open Series Championship title.

The Burton Global Open Series is also part of the SWATCH Ticket To Ride (TTR) World Snowboard Tour, the largest group of independent freestyle snowboard events in the world. TTR ranks riders based on their results at participating competitions and crowns the TTR World Champions at the US Open. The current leaders for the TTR titles are Chas Guldemond (USA) and 2007/08 TTR world champion Jamie Anderson.

For more information on the Burton Global Open Series head to www.opensnowboarding.com  
For more information on TTR, visit www.ttrworldtour 

If you can’t make it to Canada, watch the semi-finals and finals live on Go211.com, where webcasts and highlights of the competitions will also be available for on-demand viewing once the event is over.

Burton would like to thank CODA, Red Bull, Go211.com, Coors Light, Alberta Snowboard Association and Swatch TTR World Snowboard Tour for their support of the Canadian Open.



Published On: 9/30/2008
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On some random day of hiking in search of some good landscape scenery, in which I failed miserably, I came across this and couldn't keep myself from taking the shot. Eagle Lake Trail_002 Enjoi

Published On: 8/12/2008
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I think I get hurt by guys every other day. I think I'm ready to give up on them.
Sometimes I find it hard to get out of bed in the morning.
He's never there when I need to talk to him.
I dont want to fall in love with anyone. Not because I'm scared to, because it would end badly.
I'm never with someone more than a month, because I dont want to get too close.
 
I hate being in love.


Published On: 8/2/2008
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I woke up the other morning to the realisation that it's already the month of June. Which means that winter is less than six months away. One reason I suspect the time seems to have gone by so quickly is that, by most standards, the weather this spring has been rather sub-par with cooler than usual temperatures and lots of rain (let's save that precipitation for the winter folks). In the spirit of making the best of it, the Snowboard.Com east coast crew decided to end the month of May with a bang (from a boom stick) by taking in a musical.

The city of Toronto has a rather vibrant theatre scene. Which is not something you would expect snowboarders to notice but we can be highbrow once in a while too. Of particular interest, the Diesel Playhouse was putting on an adaptation of a classic cult zombie movie Evil Dead throughout the spring. When I tell people about it, they usually give me a strange "it's a musical about zombies?" look. I'm quick to point out that It can't possibly be any worse than the opera adaptation of An Inconvenient Truth (an opera about a PowerPoint presentation? Really?) Besides, how often can you say you've been to a musical and left covered in fake blood (I assume it's fake). It's like Shakespeare meets Gwar, how can this possibly suck?

The Ottawa contingent of the crew stayed at the Holiday Inn on King street, only two blocks away from the playhouse. Upon arriving, we shared the elevator with some nice ladies who were in town to see the Dirty Dancing musical at the Princess, and they asked us if we were there for the same reason. Based on my general appearance, I found this question somewhat odd. The look on their face was priceless once we told them we were going to see Evil Dead, and it led me to the conclusion that we probably wouldn't to be going down with them (in the elevator you perverts).

Can you find the snowboarders?
The East Coast Crew waiting to get Evil

After scattering to track down food and beer for later, it was time to meet up with the rest of the crew. Since we were all coming from different directions, and not everyone had actually met in person prior to this meet, the logistics of meeting up were a slight bit difficult. In fact, one of my road trip companions, Chris, called my cell to tell me he was going to meet one of the other members of the crew, also named Chris, whom he had never met previously. I said "you don't know what he looks like, how are you going to spot him on a downtown Toronto street?" His response: "He's a snowboarder." That's when it occurred to me that we snowboarders do live at a different pace than most people (skiers too). Especially in a metropolitan area such as Toronto where people seem to be in much more of a hurry and much more concerned about their image than in most places. I actually had faith, due in no small part to Chris' response, that my shred pals would have no problems finding each other. I was not mistaken, I caught up with the rest of the group in front of the hotel and we made our way to the playhouse.

The musical itself was extremely entertaining. Since it's based on the Evil Dead series of movies (Evil Dead , Evil Dead 2, Army of Darkness), we were expecting a certain amount of camp, and this stage show was certainly full of it. It was done in the perfect self-effacing way which rendered it amusing rather than annoying. The actors even joked about how Spider-Man 3 was a horrible movie (Sam Raimi directed the Evil Dead movie). The highlight of the musical was the final battle at where Ash slayed all the zombies (sorry for the spoiler). I have never seen so much fake blood used in my life. It was squirting out of the walls all over the crowd. Fun times.

After the show, stoked on being evil, the crew got up to some pre-drinking at the hotel in preparation for painting the town red (with blood?). After getting nicely warmed up, we were off to find establishments to consume refreshments. Yet somehow this feat could not be managed without a tree being transplanted into the hallway to our hotel. Apparently alcohol turns people into landscapers.

After walking around for a while and ducking into a number of pubs for refreshments, along with some other random shenanigans, it was time to call it a night since the bars were closing. On the way back to the hotel, I received a text message from Chris saying that apparently someone was shot behind the princess theatre. They were cleaning up the scene as he was walking to meet his ride to Whitby. All this time, I was expecting that our musical would prove more violent than Dirty Dancing, which our lovely friends from the elevator were attending. Clearly I was mistaken on that count.

Check out my crazy hair.
Puppet Jesus sitting at the top of the Big Apple in Colborne.

The following morning, we decided to locate a Golden Griddle we had seen the night before to have breakfast before we left. After fueling up on the all you can eat buffet and omelet bar, it was time to hit the road. On the way home, we decided to stop at the Big Apple in Colborne to buy some pies. This is where our trip took on a whole new dimension of cool when picked up an itinerant puppet with long hair, a beard, and some crazy ideas. That puppet turned out to be Jesus (or at least a very striking likeness thereof). The irony in all this is that we found him at a Big Apple which, if memory serves, is the forbidden fruit of the Genesis. Jesus was quick to participate in our road games of "hot or not" and was surprisingly good at it. Although I suppose I shouldn't be surprised since he is the son of god. In any case, Jesus is dope and he's certainly a good road trip companion, a fan of metal and a darn good dancer. When we first picked him up, he was rather subdued. Nathan even thought he was dead but we knew not to worry, "he'll be full of life in three days." It certainly didn't take three days, especially after a can of Saskatoon Beaver Buzz.

The Beaver Buzz turned out to be a bit of a mistake. Although tasty, it must contain some kind of super diaretic because it made me have to pull off the highway to pee. I was going to wait for the gas station restrooms until Jesus pointed out that the world is my gas station rest room. He's so wise. We finally made it home satisfied with our road trip shenanigans and happy for having found Jesus.

In sticking with my usual modus operandi of never walking away from an experience without learning something, here's what I learned this past weekend:

  • Snowboarders are recognisable everywhere. They seem to have a different gate about them.
  • Apparently the Dirty Dancing musical, counter to conventional wisdom, was much more violent that the Evil Dead musical... go figure.
  • Jesus Saves... road trips. Although ours didn't need saving by any stretch. He sure made it more interesting. Keep your eye open for him, you never know where you might find Jesus.

Phew! Those are important life lessons indeed. Now I'm looking forward to my next live theatre excursion. Rumour has it that Monty Python's Spamalot is coming to Toronto in the fall, maybe I'll check that out. I'll be staying away from the Dirty Dancing musical though, that's much do violent for my sensibilities. In the meantime, I'm rejoicing in the fact that there's less than six months until winter and you can bet that I'm counting down the days.



Published On: 6/5/2008
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My Blog: Rawr :]
By: Queen.Horror


would you makeout with me?
[ ] Hell Yea [ ] Yes [ ] No [ ] Maybe

Would you sleep with me?
[ ] In an instant! [ ] Yes [ ] No [ ] Maybe

Am I attractive?
[ ] Hot as Hell [ ] Fine [ ] Cute [ ] Okay [ ] Ugly [ ] Heck no

Do you think I'm a virgin?
[ ] Yes [ ] No [ ] Don't know

Name one thing you would like to do to me...
____________________

I look like..
[ ] A slut
[ ] One time thing
[ ] Next bf/gf
[ ] A friend
[ ] A friend with benefits
[ ] A possibility
[ ] A loser

If you saw me for the first time would you talk to me?
[ ] Yes [ ] No [ ] Maybe

Would you rather.. ??
[ ] Hook up with me
[ ] Cuddle with me
[ ] Date me
[ ] Friends
[ ] Friends with benefits

On a scale of 1-10 (10 being the highest), rate me..
[ ] 1 [ ] 2 [ ] 3 [ ] 4 [ ] 5 [ ] 6 [ ] 7 [ ] 8 [ ] 9 [ ] 10

What would you want me to be to you?
[ ] Friend
[ ] Girlfriend/Boyfriend
[ ] Friend with benefits
[ ] Husband/Wife

Do you think im?
[ ] Cute
[ ] Hot
[ ]Beautiful
[ ]Gorgeus
[ ]Sexy
[ ]Ugly

Would you?
[ ] Date me
[ ] Kiss me
[ ] Makeout with me
[ ] Grab me
[ ] Hug me
[ ] Hold hands with me
[ ] Cuddle with me

Would you give me a lapdance?
[ ] Hell Yea [ ] Yes [ ] No [ ] Maybe

Would you give me your number? If so let me get it.
(___)___-____ 



Published On: 5/28/2008
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The other day as I was minding my own business I got a curious invitation. A colleague asked me if I'd be interested in joining his group for dinner at the Rideau Club that night. So I brushed the hair away from my eyes and gave my beard a scratch (I haven't had a haircut in 2008 or shaved since I was in Whistler) before I said "will they even let me in the door?" It took a while to be convinced, but in the end I decided to accept the invitation. After all it seemed like a reasonable reason to skip yoga class.

It's a good thing I have a tie and jacketThe Rideau Club pre-dates canadian confederation and was established twenty-two months before Ottawa was chosen as the seat of government. The clubs first president was Sir John A. Macdonald who, two years later, became Canada's first prime minister. Those are some pretty lofty credentials for a club so when I was asked, first of all, if I owned a jacket and tie (apparently they won't let you in the door without them) and if I'd be interested in going, I was naturally a bit skeptical that I would even gain entry. Besides, the last time I went to one of these formal parties, I wound up across the desk of the Director of CSIS in Windsor two days later (being interviewed for a job oddly). "This could be interesting" I thought and accepted. It seemed like an opportunity that doesn't present itself too often, and besides I like to slum it every once in a while.

The Rideau Club is obviously quite old. The building where it's located, however, is not. The original building burned down in 1979 so they made a replica of its interior on the top floor of the Sun Life building in downtown Ottawa. In order to get to the club, there's an elevator which services it exclusively (how very elitist). As I got in the elevator, I found it odd that there were only two buttons: one for the lobby and one for the fifteenth floor. Secretly I was a bit disappointed that there wasn't a retinal scan machine or some such thing. Nontheless, it was a neat feeling to be in a private elevator to an exclusive club which boasts heads of state as members. I felt like I was going to a Stone Cutters meeting. Maybe I'd get to participate in decisions on world policy, affect the course of human history, and witness historical keggers, beer blasts, beer bashes and steinhoists, followed by the regimented AA meetings. This evening was certainly looking up.

Can you direct me to the coat room?Once I arrived I was disappointed to discover that no one referred to themselves as numbers that were sequentially assigned in the order in which they joined. Once again the Simpsons had let me down. The coat room, however, did not. That thing was the size of my living room and dining room combined plus within it was the men's room which was equipped with shoe polishers and other gizmos that were cool and useless.

The view from the various windows in the club was quite spectacular. It was a great vantage point to see Parliament Hill, the Ottawa River, random high-rise living rooms (it gave me a bit of a voyeuristic feeling) and off in the distance, the Gatineau hills where my home resort, Mont Cascades, can be found (oh I miss the winter already). In spite of the majestic view, however, there seemed to be something missing. I realised what it was when reached into my breast pocket to adjust my hanky which I made out of a Spanky's Whistler trail map. It was the mountains that were missing. Having just been in British Columbia not two weeks before, I had grown accustomed to seeing large mountainous objects in the horizon; clearly these are missing in Ontario. In the time I spent in B.C. and Alberta, I had stopped noticing the giant masses of rock, earth and snow all around me. I was de-sensitized to their majesty and this thought disappointed me. It made me realise two things:

  1. Never take what you have for granted. You'll miss it when its gone. This seems to be something that I have to be reminded of every once in a while and I'm now reminding all of you.
  2. You can take the snowboarder off the mountain, but you can't take the mountain out of the snowboarder. I thought using a trail map as a hanky was a nice touch. None of my companions seemed at all surprised when they realised what I had done. A dirtbag in fancy clothes is still a dirtbag.

So if you ever get a chance to go to the Rideau Club, I highly recommend it. It's steeped in history and is a good place to take stock of who you are and what you have. Speaking of what you have, all you dwellers of the mountains out there, raise your glasses to them, they are precious indeed.

Keep Shreddin' the GNAR!



Published On: 5/5/2008
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 get out there and ride...........

oh ya i dig CUTE chicks that like to do stuff not just shop for shoes!!

Maaaaan! what are you doing here?? don't you have something more productive to do then looking a damn profiles? seriously, don't you have friends to hang out with, ok so maybe you don't you are a loner, that's cool, if people don't wanna hang out with ya is because a reason, maybe you stink that's why ppl cant stand you, or maybe you are too boring and the only time ppl wanna hang out w/ you is because they feel bad for you, but they dont hang out with you much just now and then, ok so what you do if that happens, you change yeah but no one likes changes right? of course not, but if you change they may pay attention no remember when you change, change to something or someone that you wanna be and is gonna be respected dont try to be someone else cuz you are copying, imitation yeah is cool but this is life not a play so DON'T, became you became the inside you, the inside you is always giving you shi*t,  like hey talk to her/him what you gotta loose, you are like NA she is out of my league, well your inside you calls you a pussy, what kinda shi*t is that "out of my league" that's boloney, no one is out of no ones league the only thing you gotta do is the right thing and not kiss ass, "oh you look so good" pfff yeah like she didnt hear that before be original, your inner you tell you when she's reaching down for something go there and spank her lightly make sure you dont grab ass but make sure she feels it and is loud, she'll be surprised, i mean what's the worst is gonna happen?? she either smacks you or she'll turn around all surprised that you actually did that, a stranger just come up to some random hot chick and pull that kinda shi*t she cant wait to see what you are able to do.........so get your punk ass out there oh ya and that thing of being by yourself start doing something go biking get your fat ass outta that couch/chair/floor/bed and do something productive bike, skate, longboard, surf, snowboard, something you probably gonna suck the first time but seriously who's good their first time, you think by getting a guitar you are gonna play like jimi hendrix, heck no you need practice that's why ppl leave what they start cuz they dont see results at first but good things come with time mothasucka, so go out there and dont be a puss and do something damn it!!!



Published On: 4/12/2008
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Everyone's on facebook... and i was just remembering the good old days of snowboard dot com.... so f*ck it... im gonna start using it... and i know no one is on here.... who cares.... this shi*ts funny to me

so random people coming by leave me a comment, common it'll be funny


Published On: 4/10/2008
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My Blog: Bored.
By: Queen.Horror


IF A MOVIE WAS MADE OF YOUR LIFE, WHAT WOULD THE SOUNDTRACK BE?

So, here's how it works:

Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, etc).
Put it on shuffle.
Press play.
For every question type the song that's playing.
When you go to a new question press the next button.
Ready? GO!


Opening Credits:
Mmmbop - Hanson

Falling in Love:
Out to get you - bloodsimple

Fight Scene:
I predict a riot - Kaiser Cheifs

Breaking Up:
Skin and bones - Marianas Trench

Make-up:
Photograph - 12 stones

Secret Love:
Ex's and Oh's - atreyu

Life's Okay:
Headstrong - Trapt

Mental Breakdown:
Noma Numa Yei - Ozone

Driving:
daddys little defect - Sugarcult

Flashbacks:
Next contestant - Nickelback

Happy Dance:
fall into sleep - mudvayne

Regretting:
What I like about you - the ramones (I think Happy dance and this one are mixed up!)

Long Night Alone:
Reckless - papa roach

Final Battle:
When I'm gone - simple plan

Death Scene:
Kiss Kiss - Chris Brown

Ending Credits:
The great divide - Hanson (Begin with a hanson song, end with a hanson song!) 


Published On: 3/29/2008
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So, I'm finally back home from my trip, and my sleeping patterns are completely shot.
I went back 7 hours, so the time change screwed me up even more!

You should have seen my cat when I walked through the door.
He stared at me, then attacked my leg. After about 5 minutes of him clung to my leg, he finally realized it was me. (Spazz)

My bunny was just like, "oooh, people, PET ME!"

Published On: 3/28/2008
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I find posting once every two years is best. One it takes me that long to be creative enough to entertain you monkies (I mean that lovingly) and two... I'm lazy.
 
Anyway, so the day starts off balls ass cold. What is balls ass cold you ask? Well, balls ass cold is somewhere below "Holy Jewish Christ it's cold!" and just slightly above "Dude, I can't feel my nuts!". Tim and Dan can fill you in more on how cold it was, since they decided to sleep in their car... on the mountain... at 5am... with the heat off. Yeah, them Maryland boys ain't all there.

So as I was saying, it was balls ass cold, and we decide to warm up with a nice easy run. Now this run, had this stuff called packed powder on it. I'm not sure what it really was because it was light and fluffy and responsive and easy to ride. Where I'm from, packed powder is the frozen painfull shi*t you get the day after all the man made snow froze. I have to say, I like Vermont's version a lot better. Anyway, we're on this run, and there's this little roller of a jump at the start. Now, everyone is hitting this thing and landing with ease. I says to myself "SELF! that looks fun and easy so I'm gonna try it!". Sadly, what my mind failed to take into account was that the ones who went over it where Dan, Tim, and a few others who have been riding a hell of a lot longer than me and therefore, can actually ride really well. So just because they make something look easy, it may not actually be so... easy. Apparently, I left this part of my brain back in VA. So I tuck and make a straight line for this thing hit the top and leap. It's at this point that I realize I have no earthly clue what in the blue flying catholic %$&* to do whilst airborne. This becomes even more obvious when I land with all the grace of a drowned bubonic rat. But this isn't Liberty, so the landing area wasn't made of rock. Unfazed, I get up and ride down.

From there we wait and get on the tram. The tram by the way is the slowest means known to man to get people up a mountain. Seriously. Anyway, we get to the top of this beast and I'm looking around at the kind of terrain I've never ever ridden before. I can't wait to ride down this bitch! So I strap and and get ready to roll. It's at this point that I realize one of the straps on my binding has snapped in half making my foot wobble around in my binding like a drunken irishman on st patty's day. Getting down is going to be a bit of a challenge. The only thing I can do at this point is ride down and pray for a repair at the base. So Carmen and I take off for the base.

I will point out that the ride down was pretty awesome. Especially for a mid atlantic rider. Lots of terrain, snow, and no ice. Again, NO ICE. Hah! Anyway, I'm almost all the way down I start to get cocky again. Yes I know, not exactly a bright move when im working with half a binding on my back foot. Like I said, I left that part of my brain at home. There are these nice rollers/hills/whatever the hell you call them, that were just screaming for me to get some speed and jump at the top. Soo, I jump em. And amazingly, I land the first one. Excited, I tuck and get ready for the next one. Up I go and again I land without bailing. At this point I'm flying down the hill and there's one more coming. I figure go for 3!! Haha, yeah bad idea. I tuck and throw everything I have into my legs to jump the last one sending me into a low orbit. I try to land but my balance is off and I come crashing down right on my head. That's when the lights go out. But only for a second or two. Thank god for brain buckets. But this has certainly put my ego in check for the rest of the trip... Kinda

Finally at the bottom, a little woozy, I go into the shop in the hopes that they sell flows. In the middle of burton country (yeah). They don't in fact, no one does... anywhere. I'm stuck buying the only large size bindings they have. a $70 pair of Burton Freestyles aka $70 of pure unholy suck. But whatever, I meet up with everyone and again head up the tram. We're headed for something called the ugly tree. I don't know which of the 80 billion trees was the ugly one but I'll get to that shortly. So we're riding to this thing and I'm trying to get used to the new bindings. I'm kind of getting the hang of it and let myself get some decent speed on the way to this glade run. That's when I catch an edge and come down on what is becoming my prefered landing cushion... my head. Honestly, I'm pretty sure there's some important SQL knowledge that i've forever lost up that hill somewhere. I can still tie my own shoes though so I'm good. However, I've managed to shatter my goggle lenses in this fall. Yeah I don't know how I managed that either. See below for pics

Now for the trees. Keep in mind that I've never even really been on a black before. Sure I rode a handfull of them at 7 springs for one day ut those are about as challenging as picking my nose. This is a run through trees n shi*t... TREES! But I'm with a bunch of people who know what they're doing so I'll be all right... Kinda. They head on through these trees and in a matter of 3.4 seconds, I've lost all of them. I can't see them, I can't hear them, they're just gone lol. Now these new bindings aren't responding very well to my "oh shi*t turn now!" commands. So I'm spending most of my time on my ass, and my back, etc etc. It takes a retarded amount of time to finally work my way out of the trees. Once I do, I find that I'm all kinds of alone. So I spend the rest of the day exploring this huge mountain. Next time, I'll bring a radio that works!

Friday was a different day. After some inventive binding "repair", I'm back on my flows. And I brought some spare lenses for my goggles so I'm back to working condition again. Time to make another run through some trees!

I've learned a few lessons about riding through trees with this group. 1) Never follow rob because he loves his superman impression. But unlike superman, he doesn't stay airborne. 2) Follow Zach (cifex), because he takes lines through trees that people can actually survive. 3) Never ever ever follow Tim through the trees, unless you brought your golf clubs, and a shovel, oh and a tent. More on that below At this point I'm doing a decent job keeping up with these folks. Again they've been doing this a hell of a lot longer than me and I sure as hell would never attempt these runs on my own. This is one of the things I liked best about this trip. Hitting terrain that i never thought I could do and pushing myself damn hard to keep up.

Anyway, I follow Zach as best I can through these trees. I gotta admit, riding through trees is a huge rush. I've never done anything like it before. It's better than snorting blow off a hooker's ass! After a few hundred falls, and crashes into trees, I pop out onto the trail where everyone is waiting. Somehow, I've managed to beat Tim out of the woods. Which is odd because it took me just under a decade to get out. Then I found out why.

Apparently, Tim decided he wanted to go golfing. f*ck this riding shiz, boy wanted to break out his clubs and hit the back nine! Soo, he headed for the golf course. Which is obviously well out of boundes. For some reason Tim thinks this is a really good idea anyway. Even though he didn't bring his gold clubs... and there's snow on the ground. It's the little details that count. By the time he figures this out, he's waist deep in powder in the middle of a ravine on the opposite side of Vermont. So while we wait for the gallant golfer to carry his lanky ass back to the rest of us, we decide to keep ourselves entertained.

Dan works on his backflip (not quite as funny as Andrea's backflip but with much less ankle twistage).

Waiting for Tim

Several others play jump the tree stump.. thingy.

All the while shouting for Tim so he could get a bead on where vermont was again. (I think he cried). Dan was a bit upset that he was the only one shouting but that was because we were all laughing too god damn hard and the filth flowing from his pie hole like a raunchy poet. If Danimal was a religion, I'd f*cking worship it. Apologies to all the random folk riding by that heard what was said. But it was epic funny!

I'd write more but I think this post if long enough already. Needless to say I had the time of my life. I broke bindings, a helmet, goggle lenses, my ass, bought 2 pairs of bindings, got a horrid chest cold (btw, you can get a great buzz off of 5 advil, 3 strong swigs of robotussin, a cup of thera flu, and 4 sudafed caplets.), bit out a chunk of my mouth, spit blood in front of some random skier (that was pretty funny) and was molested by more than one tree (It wasn't gay because I didn't push back) But at least I didn't slip getting out of the hottub and bust my ass like a certain porch flying canadian


Published On: 3/25/2008
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I was all hyped out on God knows what, and I starts rambling on about twinkies.

 Skye: Did you know that if you leave a twinie in the landfill for 5 years, and then go back for it, it will look exactly the same. Because there is so many chemicals in a twinkie...yeah. It just works...Now I want a twinkie.
Jessie: I dont think they have twinkies here.
Skye: Whats?! :O
Jessie: yeah, and besides, they're bad for you.
Skye: I dont care if twinkies are bad for me! I WANT MY GOD DAMN TWINKIE!


I never got my twinkie.



Published On: 3/17/2008
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