
Editor's Note
Welcome! I am very pleased to announce the first issue of
the iRant. Just in case you haven't
noticed yet, the iRant is an online
magazine.
Well, for this first issue, it's just me. But that's all
right! I have already recruited one member, and possibly a few more in the
coming days. The iRant is an uber
cool collection of rants, as the name implies. Please note that all articles
and/or rants belong to their respective owners and cannot be redistributed
without their permissions.
Now that we got all that legal stuff done with, enjoy the
rants and don't forget to live long and prosper with your hair!
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A Call For Writers!
Ya got that right! I'm looking for semi-experienced writers
who are willing to write a few rants or articles every 1 or 2 weeks. Below are
the jobs (well... there's only one) and requirements:
Rant
Writer
Requirements: Willing to spend a few hours a week to write.
Must be experienced
in dental implants.
Should have good spelling and
grammar (If not, remember that God
invented dictionary.com).
Description: Writes articles about random things. Can also
look up random facts on the internet and write about them. Freestyle writing,
basically!
Details: Contact me by email or pm. (Optional) Please send a
short (but recent) writing sample written by you by email or pm. It should be
at least two short paragraphs and no longer than a page, if possible.
Contact me by pm at: Snowboard =o
Contact me by email at: peuanthinsan@yahoo.com
Contact me by MSN at: happyyappy3@yahoo.com
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Limes Are Good
Okay, I mean, seriously. They are good. Here's what I do:
1. Slice the lime into 4 sections, starting from one side,
then working clockwise across the circumference of the lime. (If you didn't
understand that, JUST CUT THE LIME UP!)
2. Squeeze the lime into a cup. I prefer a small plastic
cup.
3. Wash your hands with soap and dip your fingers into the
juice.
4. Add proportionally-sized amount of salt.
5. Get ready.
6. Chug it all up as fast as you can.
7. Feel the burn of your esophagus.
8. Lick any remaining juice from the cup (this is where the small comes into play. You should be
able to stick your tougue all the way to the bottom of the cup, too be able to
lick every remaining amount of juice)
Delicious!
I also met this guy online who likes to eat limes. Well,
actually I think they were lemons. We had this big argument about which is
better? lemon or lime? Of course, I sided with lime. This is how he does it:
1. Peel the lime (OR LEMON *angry smiley here*)
2. Slice up the meat of the lime into small little chunks.
3. (Optional) Get a small bowl or plate and pour a tiny
amount of salt on it.
4. Pop them in your mouth.
5. Feel the burn! Oh, yeah!
Good thing about this method is that you don't need a cup
and you don't need to lick anything. Still, I think lime is much, much, much,
much, better than lemons. Lemons are like... ecchk! Yuck! If you're too lazy,
buy those plastic limes (or lemons) from concentrate. But I don't recommend it.
It's not as healthy!
Speaking of that, not only are limes delicious, they are
healthy for you! They have that kick to them that makes you jump up, but the
aftertaste is sweet, especially when you add some salt. You can basically do
anything with limes. They are the main ingredient of cooking! Without limes (or
lemons), food would have no flavor, except with some salt. Unless you're eating
Japanese food or something.
Apparently, it's healthy to eat food that is not flavored
with salt of spices. That's why Japanese people live so long. Their colons are
quite healthy! Although, I think Japanese restaurants in America are
quite delicious. I LOVE JAPANESE THOUGH! It tastes great! Soy sauce is my best
friend. How did we get from limes to Japanese food? Hmm... now that’s what you call a mindless rant.
How did we ever get here? Geez! Let's go back to limes now.
Actually, I have nothing more to say about limes... they are very good and healthy though. Well,
I guess that concludes this rant. EAT LIMES AND PROSPER WITH YOUR HAIR!
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RunEscape?!?! WTF?!
That is correct. Run. Escape. WTF?! So, anyways, here's to
the story. I play a lot of RuneScape, right? In case you didn't know, RuneScape
is a MMORPG game, a Massive Multiplayer Online Role-Playing Game. It's great fun for a while. But anyways, I've been playing so
much that my parents started to get suspicious and asked me all these questions
about it. What is the purpose of this game? What do you gain from playing this?
LET'S STUDY FOR THE SAT FIRST BEFORE YOU PLAY! DO SOMETHING BETTER WITH YOUR
TIME! LET'S PRESENT IT AT MY COMPUTER ASSISTED LANGUAGE LEARNING CONFERENCE IN
JAPAN (yes, here comes Japan
again) THIS SUMMER! Gah! sorry... where was I?
Ah, yes. So, I told my parents about the game and they asked
me, what is it called? Runes-Cape? I corrected them with Rune-Scape! I mean,
what is with that? The R and the S were so obviously capitalized (RuneScape),
showing the start of the syllables! Okay, so they finally got it right for
once. But they forgot. Oh, yes, they forgot! They kept calling it
"game". "Stop play game!", "No game!", "DIE
SPAZ MUFFIN PICKLE!" *cough*
So finally, they started using the name of "game".
Which is RuneScape. Unfortunately... RUN ESCAPE?!?! WTF?! RUN. ESCAPE. GAH! Why
do you old people never understand the terrible pain you have caused me with
your anachronistic knowledge?! Yes, like I said, God invented dictionary.com so
look it up. It infuriorates me! I am very angry. RuneScape. DO YOU NOT
SEE THE BOLDED CAPITAL LETTERS? WHAT, ARE YOU BLIND?! No, I'm sorry I don't
mean that, my beautiful, beloved parents.
But I bet some of your parents probably, at one point in
time, if they ever heard of it, called it that. It's funny really, because
there are a few ways you can split up "RuneScape" into syllables so
that they actually spell out words. Rune-Scape, for one. Then there's
Runes-Cape. And of course, the horribly dreaded RUN-ESCAPE! Gah I might as well
collapse and die if anyone says that again. And my parents are English
teachers! How could they not know how to pronounce a simple word like that?
Rune! Scape! HOW HARD CAN THAT BEEEEEEEEE?!?! OH THE PAIN, THE INHUMANITY! (as
Double-D from Ed, Edd, and Eddy say)
Anyways, that sums up my rant on... dun dun dun... RUN
ESCAPE. Omgz it kills me to say that. But of course I'm not dead. Yet. Dun dun
dun... a lot of people know where I live. And they are not exactly the sane
type of people... oh godz, NO! NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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I Don't Snowboard
Seriously, I don't. I probably can if you give me a board
and 3 months. I'm very athletic, ya know. I once threw a backpack across the
bus and hit someone on the head, intentionally. I don't want to talk about
it... =(. I DIDN'T MEAN IT I AM SO SORRY WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE THAT WAY!??!
GAAAAAAAAAAH!
Anyone have a Kleenex? Oh, I have a box right here. I have a
cold, you see. On the last day of school, we went to a state park for a field
trip. I have another thought, but that will have to wait. The park had a
natural waterfall and lots of kids were playing in it. I, not planning to swim,
did not bring a bathing suit. Or a towel for that matter. But I wanted to swim.
So, I took out my keys, iPod (an article about this coming up on the next
edition), Sharpies, etc. out of my pocket and stuffed them in my backpack.
So, I waded across the water, only planning to get half of
my body wet (the lower half). Anyways, considering that it was a natural
waterfall, there were lots of rocks. Good thing I had sandals on eh? Bad idea.
They did not offer enough support for me and I tripped on the rocks. Let's just
say they (the sandals) can't curve around rocks the way my feet can. So, I was
totally drenched, head in the water, ears clogged up with dirt. But I thought,
now that I'm wet, who cares?
I jumped out of the water and started heading for the
waterfall. I dramatically took my glasses off, holding them to the side, away
from the water. I then put my head right under the water. Ahhhh, it was so
refreshing. Unfortunately, since I had no towel, I was completely drenched for
the next hour we were there, as well as the half-hour on the bus ride home. And
well, that's how I got the cold.
Wasn't this rant about why I don't snowboard? Hmm. Well,
back to that then. I don't snowboard.
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Closing Remarks
I would like to say, thank you for reading this issue and
thanks for all of your support (not... yet.). It was very fun writing all of
this and it got me almost 20,000 keystrokes on my WhatPulse (whatpulse.org!
joinz!), which should propel me to a 2nd place rank in my team. I hope.
Probably not, I haven't even checked there in ages.
Please contact me if you would like to help out with iRant! I can't keep on ranting by myself
like this, it would get boring. Speaking of that, I would also like to thank
boredom for all of its support, as without it, I would have never even thought
about ranting. Then again, I rant all the time in my head. Half the time I
don't even know what I'm ranting about. I just have random thoughts, ya know.
Yea.
Well, I hope you enjoyed this first issue of the iRant. And as I have said before, live
long and prosper with your hair!
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