I woke up the other morning to the realisation that it's already the month of June. Which means that winter is less than six months away. One reason I suspect the time seems to have gone by so quickly is that, by most standards, the weather this spring has been rather sub-par with cooler than usual temperatures and lots of rain (let's save that precipitation for the winter folks). In the spirit of making the best of it, the Snowboard.Com east coast crew decided to end the month of May with a bang (from a boom stick) by taking in a musical.
The city of Toronto has a rather vibrant theatre scene. Which is not something you would expect snowboarders to notice but we can be highbrow once in a while too. Of particular interest, the Diesel Playhouse was putting on an adaptation of a classic cult zombie movie Evil Dead throughout the spring. When I tell people about it, they usually give me a strange "it's a musical about zombies?" look. I'm quick to point out that It can't possibly be any worse than the opera adaptation of An Inconvenient Truth (an opera about a PowerPoint presentation? Really?) Besides, how often can you say you've been to a musical and left covered in fake blood (I assume it's fake). It's like Shakespeare meets Gwar, how can this possibly suck?
The Ottawa contingent of the crew stayed at the Holiday Inn on King street, only two blocks away from the playhouse. Upon arriving, we shared the elevator with some nice ladies who were in town to see the Dirty Dancing musical at the Princess, and they asked us if we were there for the same reason. Based on my general appearance, I found this question somewhat odd. The look on their face was priceless once we told them we were going to see Evil Dead, and it led me to the conclusion that we probably wouldn't to be going down with them (in the elevator you perverts).
The East Coast Crew waiting to get Evil
After scattering to track down food and beer for later, it was time to meet up with the rest of the crew. Since we were all coming from different directions, and not everyone had actually met in person prior to this meet, the logistics of meeting up were a slight bit difficult. In fact, one of my road trip companions, Chris, called my cell to tell me he was going to meet one of the other members of the crew, also named Chris, whom he had never met previously. I said "you don't know what he looks like, how are you going to spot him on a downtown Toronto street?" His response: "He's a snowboarder." That's when it occurred to me that we snowboarders do live at a different pace than most people (skiers too). Especially in a metropolitan area such as Toronto where people seem to be in much more of a hurry and much more concerned about their image than in most places. I actually had faith, due in no small part to Chris' response, that my shred pals would have no problems finding each other. I was not mistaken, I caught up with the rest of the group in front of the hotel and we made our way to the playhouse.
The musical itself was extremely entertaining. Since it's based on the Evil Dead series of movies (Evil Dead , Evil Dead 2, Army of Darkness), we were expecting a certain amount of camp, and this stage show was certainly full of it. It was done in the perfect self-effacing way which rendered it amusing rather than annoying. The actors even joked about how Spider-Man 3 was a horrible movie (Sam Raimi directed the Evil Dead movie). The highlight of the musical was the final battle at where Ash slayed all the zombies (sorry for the spoiler). I have never seen so much fake blood used in my life. It was squirting out of the walls all over the crowd. Fun times.
After the show, stoked on being evil, the crew got up to some pre-drinking at the hotel in preparation for painting the town red (with blood?). After getting nicely warmed up, we were off to find establishments to consume refreshments. Yet somehow this feat could not be managed without a tree being transplanted into the hallway to our hotel. Apparently alcohol turns people into landscapers.
After walking around for a while and ducking into a number of pubs for refreshments, along with some other random shenanigans, it was time to call it a night since the bars were closing. On the way back to the hotel, I received a text message from Chris saying that apparently someone was shot behind the princess theatre. They were cleaning up the scene as he was walking to meet his ride to Whitby. All this time, I was expecting that our musical would prove more violent than Dirty Dancing, which our lovely friends from the elevator were attending. Clearly I was mistaken on that count.
Puppet Jesus sitting at the top of the Big Apple in Colborne.
The following morning, we decided to locate a Golden Griddle we had seen the night before to have breakfast before we left. After fueling up on the all you can eat buffet and omelet bar, it was time to hit the road. On the way home, we decided to stop at the Big Apple in Colborne to buy some pies. This is where our trip took on a whole new dimension of cool when picked up an itinerant puppet with long hair, a beard, and some crazy ideas. That puppet turned out to be Jesus (or at least a very striking likeness thereof). The irony in all this is that we found him at a Big Apple which, if memory serves, is the forbidden fruit of the Genesis. Jesus was quick to participate in our road games of "hot or not" and was surprisingly good at it. Although I suppose I shouldn't be surprised since he is the son of god. In any case, Jesus is dope and he's certainly a good road trip companion, a fan of metal and a darn good dancer. When we first picked him up, he was rather subdued. Nathan even thought he was dead but we knew not to worry, "he'll be full of life in three days." It certainly didn't take three days, especially after a can of Saskatoon Beaver Buzz.
The Beaver Buzz turned out to be a bit of a mistake. Although tasty, it must contain some kind of super diaretic because it made me have to pull off the highway to pee. I was going to wait for the gas station restrooms until Jesus pointed out that the world is my gas station rest room. He's so wise. We finally made it home satisfied with our road trip shenanigans and happy for having found Jesus.
In sticking with my usual modus operandi of never walking away from an experience without learning something, here's what I learned this past weekend:
- Snowboarders are recognisable everywhere. They seem to have a different gate about them.
- Apparently the Dirty Dancing musical, counter to conventional wisdom, was much more violent that the Evil Dead musical... go figure.
- Jesus Saves... road trips. Although ours didn't need saving by any stretch. He sure made it more interesting. Keep your eye open for him, you never know where you might find Jesus.
Phew! Those are important life lessons indeed. Now I'm looking forward to my next live theatre excursion. Rumour has it that Monty Python's Spamalot is coming to Toronto in the fall, maybe I'll check that out. I'll be staying away from the Dirty Dancing musical though, that's much do violent for my sensibilities. In the meantime, I'm rejoicing in the fact that there's less than six months until winter and you can bet that I'm counting down the days.
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