There's a war going on for my mind. The various factions want it for it holds the key to something they seek: my spending power and potentially yours. I'm comforted by the knowledge, however, that if I'm thinking, I'm winning; and right now I'm thinking, are you?

Every day we are bombarded with advice on how we should live. We call this advertising, it's the blueprint for modern life. We need better music, faster cars, greener grass, and bigger penises. Fortunately there are many competing blueprints to choose from. It is still a matter, however, of choosing one of the pre-defined options; free thinking people need not apply.

Snowboarding is one way to stay out of the war's line of fire. It's an endeavour that, while you are doing it, all that matters is you, the mountain, nature and your friends. The snowboarding industry itself, however, is not so pure. This was evident during this year's Telus World Ski and Snowboard Festival (and festivals past I'm sure). The most visible things in Whistler village from April 11th to the 20th were: Schick (to look good), GM (to get to the place where you need to look good), Kokanee (to make those people look good to you) and of course Telus (to tell people how good you looked). The most important element of the festival seemed to have been forgotten, or at least was not immediately evident: the snowboarding. If you looked hard enough, however, you would quickly see that it was there lurking beneath the surface.

One of the reasons that I like snowboarding is because I like snowboarders, and by that I mean REAL snowboarders. Not those with fake goggle tans and orders of magnitude more time riding mahoganee ridge than actual play time in the snow. In many ways, snowboarders are much more genuine than most people. They have experienced the harshness of winter head on and walked away with a smile. They might not face this with incredible skill or style, but it does not matter how good they are at snowboarding only how much joy the get from it. Though it may be hard to distiguish a goggle tan obtained in a tanning salon from one obtained while hiking up a steep aspect to earn some turns, if you look into a snowboarders eyes, you should have no problem identifying the true ones from the rest. Rest assured, contrary to the message in their add campaigns, Expedia has no idea how those snowboarders feel about winter. They'd probably just as soon take a vacation to somewhere with snow in the middle of summer than go somewhere tropical in the middle of winter, counter to what is customary.

Although true snowboarders represent something quite contrary to the industry itself, they would be nowhere without it. For this reason, it's important to remember that you vote with your dollars. Make sure when you buy your gear, that you aren't supporting something that you don't believe in. Certainly not because that product has a flashier ad than another. You probably wouldn't let me tell you who to vote for in a democratic election, so don't let me, or anyone else, tell you what to ride or what to wear. By avoiding monoculture, we ensure that snowboarding remains a feeling rather than a look or an attitude. Admittedly, people look up to me for advice on snowboarding, this follows from being a teacher. I always try, however, to make sure to only provide factual information. You should always synthesize any advice with your own needs and desires, otherwise eventually, every snowboarder will be a clone of every other snowboarder. Then the sport will become yet another victim of the corrosiveness of conformity.

Indeed there is a war going on for my mind and it has been for some time now, but the warring factions are engaging in an excercise in futility. The real prize, the item of the most value, is my heart and they'll never be able to take that away from me, I've already given it away.

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You might be a redneck if…

*You've ever vacationed in a rest area.

*Your belt buckle is bigger than your head.

*You think paprika is a third-world country.

*You refer to the fifth grade as "my senior year".

*Your checks feature pictures of dogs fighting.

*Your muffler is held on by a coat hanger.

*Going to the bathroom in the middle of the night requires shoes and a flashlight.

*Bikers back down from your mama

*Your bicycle has a gun rack.

*After removing the empty beer cans from your car you find you get fifteen more miles to the gallon.

*Directions to your house include "turn off the paved road"

*You wet the bed and four other people immediately know it.

*You actually know what kind of leaves make the best substitute for toilet paper.

*Your father encourages you to quit school because Larry has an opening at the oil shop.

*The neighbors have ever asked to borrow the light bulb.

*Your wife keeps a can of Vienna sausage in her purse.

*Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.

*You hold a frog and it worries about getting warts.

*You have to take the entire day off to get your teeth cleaned.

*You offer to give somebody the shirt off your back and they don't want it.

*You ever listed fuzzy dice on an insurance claim.

*Your trolling motor used to be a fan in a barber shop.

*You list tick removal as a skill on your resume.

*You use an ironing board as a knick-knack shelf.

*You think the Battle of the Bulge is an argument between your wife and your mother.

*You've ever driven around looking for your porch roof after a bad storm.

*Your nicest towels say, "Motel 6".  

*The photo on your driver's license includes your dog.

*You've been too drunk to fish.

*You've had to remove a toothpick for wedding pictures.

*You ever used a weed-eater indoors.

*You have a rag for a gas cap (on a car that does run).

*You go to the family reunion to pick up on women.

*You have to go outside to get something out of the 'fridge.

*Your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a six-pack.

*Someone asks to see your ID and you show them your belt buckle.

*You have lost at least one tooth opening a beer bottle.

*Jack Daniel's makes your list of "most admired people".

*You won't stop at a rest area if you have an empty beer bottle in the car.

*Your wife has a beer belly and you find it attractive.

*You consider a three piece suit to be: a pair of overalls, a plaid flannel shirt and thermal underwear.

*When you leave your house, you are followed by federal agents of the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms, and the only thing you worry about is if you can lose them or not.

*You have a house that is mobile and 13 cars that aren’t

*Your gene pool doesn't have a "deep end."

*Your huntin' dog cost more than the truck you drive him around in.

*You think that safe sex is a padded headboard on the water-bed.

*It's Easier to spray weed killer on your lawn than mow it.

*You think that John Deere Green, Ford Blue, and Primer Gray are the three primary colors.

*Your idea of talking during sex is "Ain't no cars coming, baby!"

*Taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen.

*You think the last words to The Star Spangled Banner are "Gentlemen, start your engines."

*You think God looks a lot like Hank Williams, Jr., and heaven looks a lot like Daytona Beach, Florida.

*You believe dual air bags refer to your wife and mother-in-law.

*Your father executes the "pull my finger" trick during Christmas dinner.

*You were acquitted for murdering your first wife after she threw out your Elvis 45's.

*You've got more than one brother named 'Darryl'.

*The people on Jerry Springer's show remind you of your neighbors.

*You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.

*You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off it's wheels.

*You carried a fishing pole into Sea World.

*Your sister is the third generation of women in your family to conceive a baby as a result of an alien abduction.

*You think subdivision is part of a math problem.

*You think there's nothing wrong with incest as long as you keep it in the family.

*You can get dog hair from out of your belly button.

*You can't get married to your sweetheart ‘cause there is a law against it.

*The beer can collection in the town museum is the big tourist attraction.

*You can change the oil in your truck without ducking your head.

*You think "loading the dishwasher" means getting your wife drunk.

*You take a load to the dump and bring back more than you took.

*You believe that beef jerky and beer are two of the major food groups.

*You let your thirteen-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.

*You keep empty beer cans in your fridge for your friends that don't drink.

*You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night.

*You think taking a bubble bath starts with eating alot of beans for dinner.

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my mind is so busy, so chaotic, all these random thoughts running through my mind! i really don't know what to type in here, i'll just put all the random thoughts down--

 i still have to write a letter tonight...   

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London – We flew into Heathrow and the plan was to catch a train to Jamies grandmothers house in Oxford but her house was flooded.  So we got a tube to Camden & met up with Jamies cousin David who agreed to let us stay for a few days.  The first night in London we met up with some of Jamie’s friends.   We didn’t really want to do any of the touristy stuff in London, but we did go the National Gallery and Trafalger Sqaure. The exchange rate for pounds to Canadian dollars was pretty brutal so we didn’t spend much.  We caught up with a friend from school, Nicole who was in Kensington.  We walked past Hyde Park but we didn’t go check out the Princesss Diana memorial, so I didn’t get the chance to pee in it.  If London wasn’t so ridiculously expensive I would love to live there, going to the pub for a pint is a great way to spend an evening.

Amsterdam – I knew this would be the highlight of the trip, I’d heard a lot of stories about what we should do and where to go in Amsterdam.   To be fair there is a lot of cool stuff to do if sex drugs aren’t your thing …. we did go visit Anne Franks house, and the Rijksmuseum which has about 1000 Van Gogh and Rembrandt paintings.  But my favorite museum was the Heineken Experience which lovingly tells the story of Hollands favorite beer with interactive displays.  As you make your way through the “museum” there are 3 different pubs where you get to sample the beer.  
The nightlife in Amsterdam is amazing, we went to Boom Chicago which is an improv comedy club.  I was surprised how everyone in Holland spoke English, and the Dutch have no accent.  It sounds a bit American and a bit English, but I would have a hard time spotting a Dutchman.
I wanted to check out a coffee house in Amsterdam, but I was not planning on trying any drugs.  We went into a coffee house on the first night & they had a menu of what you could buy – they had cookies and brownies and doughnuts, and hashie milkshakes.   I tried a brownie, it was supposed to be the equivalent of 2 joints.  I think I was more influenced from the jug of beer we had at boom Chicago.   On our second night in Amsterdam we decided to get a gram of marijuana.  I’m not an expert but it was good stuff.  Amsterdam has to be one of the most interesting places, the people dress like Vogue models.  The red light district was not as sleazy as I expected, it seemed pretty touristy actually.   I was surprised when Jamie suggested we go see a live sex show, I was happy to try anything & everything we could on our trip. It was just regular sex, a guy & a girl, 2 lesbians and then a jungle woman with triple-D boobs having sex with a guy in a gorilla suit.  It was something fun to do as a one-off, but I don’t think it would be something you would do every week, like instead of going to the movies you would catch a sex show.
On our last night in Amsterdam we met up with the rest of our Contiki group.  There were 50 people in our group, mostly Australians & New Zealanders and some South Africans, Canadians, Americans.  There were a couple of Brazilians and Tawainese too, so it was a good mix of people.

Munich – we were all pretty hung over when we left Amsterdam at 6am to drive to Munich, Germany.  Our tour guide was Rachel, a cool chick from New Zealand, she basically talked to us like a school teacher & told us we would have to stay with the group & leave when she told us or they’d leave without us.  We arrived in Munich at about 4PM, just in time to go see the Glockinspeil.  Rachel told us it was the highlight of Munich … basically it’s a huge cuckoo clock. It went for 10 minutes, and there were literally 1000s of people watching.  When the clock finally stopped chiming we went for a tour of Munchen.  In the middle of the city is a park where office workers go & sit and eat their lunch and take their clothes off … it was a nudist park!  We went to a beer hall in Munich for dinner, the very one where Hitler used to go to give some of his famous speeches.   German food is pretty good, the main course was literally just a pork leg … no vegetables, no side dish, just meat!  I had 2 steins with my dinner so I don’t remember miuch else happening in Munich, except back at the hotel half the group went to bed & half the group went to the bar for another drink.  Jamie and I met a local Munchen man who offered to buy us a drink, cos he enjoyed speaking English and just wanted to talk to us …. ahh ok we went to bed pretty quickly then.   We drove to Switzerland the next morning, but we did make a stop at the Dacchau concentration camp, they turned the original buildings into a museum. I have to respect Germany for not trying to cover up their darkest chapter in history.

Geneva / Lucerne / Zurich – the trip itinerary was very full, we spent a lot of time each day on the bus traveling to our next destination.  We arrived in Zurich at lunch time, it’s the one city in Europe that looked exactly how I expected & was looking forward to explore it.  Too bad Rachel gave us 30 minutes to see the city & have lunch …. just enough time to grab a McSwiss burger.  The Swiss Alps were beautiful and I definitely want to go back with my snowboard.  It was funny seeing the Australians and South Africans get excited about seeing snow for the first time.  In Lucerne we saw a yodeling demonstration and had a traditional Swiss dinner.  But the highlight of Lucerne was the hotel, which was basically overtaken by our group.  It’s where the group really bonded, and I leant heaps of new drinking games.

Cannes / Nice / Monaco – it was a long drive from Lucerne to Cannes, with a short stop in Zurich.  When Rachel gave the group the choice of having a quiet night at the camping grounds or going to Monaco we unanimously voted for Monaco.  Jamie & I were dressed up to hit the Grand Royale casino …. I wanted to order a vodka martini, Jamie wanted to bet 10∍ on black.  There was a 20∍ cover charge to enter the Grand Royale, so we hit the mini-casino next door.  Jamie was insistent that he was going to gamble in Monaco so he put 10∍ in the giant slot machine … and won 950∍! Back in Antibes we got a bottle of vodka to celebrate.  The funniest moment of the trip was in Monaco when Rachel pointed out Prinicess Stephanie’s palace to us, and Aussie Dave yelled out ‘jeez its bloody nice hey, I thought my house was nice but this is bloody beautiful!’.  We got to spend the next day in Cannes, you feel like a schmuck seeing all the sports cars and huge yachts and villas.  The only other interesting thing that happened in Cannes was a guy in our group nearly got arrested for taking photos of topless women on the beach.  There was a circus with lots of carnival rides next to the campgrounds where we were staying.  After a few beers a bunch of us went on the giant drop, it wasn’t until we got to the top when Derrick reminded everyone about the 13 year old girl who lost her feet on the same ride.  But we survived and went back to the huts for more beer and card games.

Barcelona  -  Spain was the last stop on our contiki trip.  I’ve always thought that Italy has the worlds most beautiful women, but Spain is a serious challenger to the title.  The architecture in Spain was amazing.   It was the groups last night & we went to a flamenco demonstration & to a nightclub which was I was looking forward to doing for the whole trip.  I tried Sangria in Barcelona, which was pretty smooth so I drank more and more.  Maybe it was the alcohol but everybody was pretty emotional about it being our last night, a bunch of us are planning on reuniting for another contiki trip next year.

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Iwrote a goodbye note in lipstick on your arm when you passed out,
I couldnt bring myself to call, except to call it quits,

Best friends, ex-friends to the end,
Better of as lovers and not the other way around,
Racing through the city, windows down,
In the back of yellow-checkered cars,
Yo-ho ho. Woah-oh-oh.
(Are we)
Yo-ho ho. Woah-oh-oh.
Yo-ho ho. Woah-oh-oh.
(Are we)
Yo-ho ho. Woah-oh-oh

This city says;
Come Hell or high water, when Im feeling hot and wet,
I cant commit to a thing, be it heart or hospital,

Best friends, ex-friends to the end,
Better of as lovers and not the other way around,
Racing through the city, windows down,
In the back of yellow-checkered cars,
Yo-ho ho. Woah-oh-oh.
(Are we)
Yo-ho ho. Woah-oh-oh.
Yo-ho ho. Woah-oh-oh.
(Are we)
Yo-ho ho. Woah-oh-oh

The tombstones are waiting,
They were half engraved,
They knew it was over,
Just didnt know the date.

And I cast a spell over the West to make you think of me,
The same way I think of you,
This is a love song in my own way,
Happily ever after, and gone to waste.

Best friends, ex-friends to the end,
Better of as lovers,
Racing through the city, windows down,
In the back of yellow-checkered cars,
Yo-ho ho. Woah-oh-oh.
(Are we)
Yo-ho ho. Woah-oh-oh.
Yo-ho ho. Woah-oh-oh.
(Are we)
Yo-ho ho. Woah-oh-oh

Best friends, ex-friends to the end,
Better of as lovers and not the other way around,
Ex-friends to the end, and better off as yo-ho-ha-ooh-oh-oh.

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DRAPER SKATE CONTEST RESULTS


Technique would like to thank all of you for coming out to the first Annual Draper Skate
Contest, hosted by Technique. Below are the results for all three divisions. Skater’s were
judged on difficulty, style, use of all skate park obstacles and consistency. Skate’s were
scored by four judges, the score was then determined on a over all average.
Congratulations to the winners!


RESULTS FOR BEGGINER:
1.Dillon Gunther
2.Trayson Bowers
3.Joe Sandmire
4.Ted Poulson
5.McCabe Jensen
6.Maurice Vanditter
7.Austin Woodward
8.Kyle Kenner
9.Colt Nelson
10.Jaden Jorgensen
11.Jimmy Mcmahon
12.Tyson Black
13.Pablo Rasales
14.Mac Siripong
15.Garret Wooley
16.Rylee Johnson
17.Hasting Madsen
18.Michael Mortensen
19.Carson Hoch
20.Jenner Allen
21.Canyon Macey
22.Conner Parsons
23.Shawn Eddlemon
24.Isiah Sanchez
25.Nathan Martinez
26.Alec Hewitt
27.Devin Baldwin
28.Nolan Hernandez
29.Sebastian Lawerence
30.Brighton Marquis
31.Mike Ruschton
32.Kacey Hebdon
33.Kade Hernandez
34.Jake Morgan
35.Logan Guenther
36.Landon Cloes
37.Dustin Black
38.Mike Black
39.Lane Jensen
40.Joseph Cannan
41.Devun Black
42.Brayden Martinez


INTERMEDIATE CONTEST RESULTS:
1.Nick Meyer
2.Misael Cano
3.Conlin Hooley
4.Ben Mcqueen
5.Chase S.
6.Oton Nhuw
7.Dewey Palmer
8.Scott Kenner
9.Brandon Hobush
10.Cash Banditson
11.Tyler Turley
12.Joe Chamberlin
13.Sean Winskowski
14.Mac Siripong
15.Mitchell Schultz
16.Rennie Mcgregor
17.Jake Romero
18.Evan Ellison
19.Kyle Kenner
20.Austin Comstock
21.Colto Kynaston
22.Brad West
23.Aaron Jacques
24.Mario Cdebaca
25.AJ Gomez
26.Nick Mcneal
27.Kenny Hicks
28.Dalton Parker
29.Bronson Harwell
30.Colton Erickson
31.Cody Cornia
32.Kevin Muniz
33.Vini Marquez
34.Cody Sherer
35.Garret Bell
36.Curtis Wooldrige
37.Carson Darkman
38.Maxwell Schultz
39.Nick Swatzke


EXPERT RESULTS:
1.Zack Silver (Quicksilver)
2.Kevin Fedderston
3.Morgan Hartwell
4.Colin Brophy
5.Alex Whipp (Worm)
6.Beau Davis
7.Holland Redd
8.Jason Gianchetta (Cheese)
9.Zach Hippo
10.Danny Souk
11.Aaron Gailey
12.Colton Brown


BEST TRICK WINNER:
1.ZACK HIPPO
2.Zack Silver (Quicksilver)
3.Beau Davis

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I peaced out around 3:30 so I could make my flight back home in Oakland at 9. On the way I found an In-N-Out Burger, the mythical Mormon burger joint which was supposedly divine. I had made it one of my goals for the trip to finally have a Double Double as I’d heard so much about them over the years. I got mine to go and got back on the highway. The weather was starting to clear and large columns of light poured through the clouds, and Stairway to Heaven played on the radio as I ate my Jesus burger. It was an epic moment. I made it to the airport just in time. I was completely delirious at this point from riding hard all day, the lack of sleep, and the sheer number of spleefs I’d blazed on my trip. I was seated in the middle of the row on the plane, in between two other large guys. I am not positive, but I think I was sleeping on one of their shoulders for a good portion of the trip back to Seattle.

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1920's, 30's 40's, 50's, 60's and 70's !!

First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they carried us and lived in houses made of asbestos.

They took aspirin, ate blue cheese, tuna from a can, and didn't get tested for diabetes or cervical cancer.

Then after that trauma, our baby cribs were covered with bright colored lead-based paints.

We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets or shoes, not to mention, the risks some of us took hitchhiking.

As children, we would ride in cars with no seat belts or air bags.

Riding in the back of a pickup truck on a warm day was always a special treat.

We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle.

Take away food was limited to fish and chips, no pizza shops, McDonalds, KFC, Subway or Red Rooster.

 Even though all the shops closed at 6.00pm and didn't open on the weekends, somehow we didn't starve to death!

We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and NO ONE actually died from this.

We could collect old drink bottles and cash them in at the corner store and buy Fruit Tingles and some fire crackers to blow up frogs and lizards with.

We ate cupcakes, white bread and real butter and drank soft drinks with sugar in it, but we weren't overweight because......

WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING!!

We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on.

No one was able to reach us all day. And we were O.K.

We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. We built tree houses and cubby houses and played in creek beds with matchbox cars. 

We did not have Playstations, Nintendo's, Xboxes, no video games at all, no 99 channels on cable, no video tape or DVD movies, no surround sound, no mobile  phones, no personal computers, no Internet or Internet chat rooms..........WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!

We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no Lawsuits from these accidents.

Only girls had pierced ears!

 

We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever.

You could only buy Easter Eggs and Hot Cross buns at Easter time.......no really!

 

We were given BB guns and sling shots for our 10th birthdays,

We drank milk laced with Strontium 90 from cows that had eaten grass covered in nuclear fallout from the atomic testing at Maralinga in 1956.

We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just yelled for them!

Mum didn't have to go to work to help dad make ends meet!

 

Footy had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!!

Our teachers used to belt us with big sticks and leather straps and bully's always ruled the playground at school.

The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law!

Our parents got married before they had children and didn't invent stupid names for their kids like "Kiora" and "Blade"..... 

This generation has produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever!

  The past 70 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.

We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned

HOW TO

DEAL WITH IT ALL!

And YOU are one of them!

CONGRATULATIONS!

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