Alright class, time to analyze this. Don't be narrow minded now, it's for the benefit of society, key parts of the conversation are highlighted in corresponding colors. Don't worry, I'll help walk you through it, teacher's notes are in orange.
Background: So basically what we have here is an excerpt from a colonies "gangsta" brawl. Very West Side Story in nature. To summarize what was happening before i decided to look deeper into this, DIICCE and Max are fighting over who's gang's tougher and have been talking about taking this argument "off colonies". Let's get to work now.
DIICCE_CRUNK: AE YO CAILYN STOP UR BF FROM FRONTIN AND TRYNA ACT LIEK A CRIP B4 HE GET KILLED
(Note the enraged attitude specified by the capitalized letters poor spelling, note the conversation with the Max’s gal, confrontation with the female member of the party vice the male in an attempt to have her logic with him because he can’t)
LACEY_SO_SEXY: caylinnnnnnnnnnnn
Mighty_Max_212: i aint nevr said i was acting liek one
(denial)
LC_BABY: no you called me cailyn
Mighty_Max_212: i siad crips are better
LC_BABY: and bryce i cant tell him what to do
Mighty_Max_212: its a proven fact
LC_BABY: hi laceyyyyyyy
LACEY_SO_SEXY: lol hi
(meet the women of this batch, LC= Max's, Lacey= diicce's, this is their first interaction and such on friendly terms. this goes to show that women can engage in pleasantries despite any differences or resentment)
DIICCE_CRUNK: YEA YEA STOP TRYNA BANG IN THE f*ckIN INTERNET PUSSY
DIICCE_CRUNK: NOW LOOK HE BE THE 1 TALKIN PUSSY LOL\
(we're still using caps and poor spelling, take heed, this represents permenant discontent and most likely depression)
LACEY_SO_SEXY: im back diicce no hi
(neediness for attention)
LC_BABY: why dont you stop talking about crips and bloodz there both lame
(resentment finally appears, feminine intuition to resolve conflict)
Mighty_Max_212: you7 the one talkgin bout shooting people at ur school to get attention
(insensitivity with hard evidence)
DIICCE_CRUNK: WB LACEY
(satisfication of obnoxious female neediness)
LACEY_SO_SEXY: ty
DIICCE_CRUNK: ae max that was the past lets talk abotu the future
(denial, not wanting to face the facts)
Browny_05: lacey im always leavin you cheesy lines
Browny_05: wheres mine?
DIICCE_CRUNK: u tryna bang so lets not bang here lets bang off colonies
(continuation of the term "off colonies" suggesting that perhaps they're "thug" enough to take this argument somewhere else, note no caps and relatively better grammar)
LC_BABY: why talk about the future if you dont know it...
(attempt to resolve conflict with reason hampered by percieved dbs, dumb blonde syndrome)
Mighty_Max_212: i already so okay
LACEY_SO_SEXY: lol kev i dont have cheesy lines speaking of cheesy lines leave me oneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
DIICCE_CRUNK: cause he tryna act hard like a lil pussy
(responding to what had been considered dbs and was actually logical reasoning, further more demeaning of opposition in a need to feel more self important)
Browny_05: no!!
Browny_05: i have feelings too
(browny's been fliriting with lacey for a while now, note diicce's lack of attention, he either doesn't care or is too side tracked by max to care)
tapindahouse: iight
(random intervention by unwanted party)
LACEY_SO_SEXY: yes please
Browny_05: i want some
(man on the side?)
tapindahouse: who f*cking with bryce?
LC_BABY: why are u letting it get too u so much
(more reason and logic, who'dve thunk?)
LACEY_SO_SEXY: fine ill send u some if u send me some
Mighty_Max_212: because he knows im right
(bullheaded stubborness as opposed to logical maturity!)
LC_BABY: if u dont care about wat he says why are u complaining
(logic logic logic)
tapindahouse: is kyle here
(realizes problem is to grand for them to deal with, goes searching for the authorities)
LC_BABY: common sense....
LC_BABY: use it
(DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING WE HAVE A WINNER!)
DIICCE_CRUNK: MAX TAP HE TRYNA ACT GANGSTA LOL SAYIN CRIPS ARE BETTER THAN BLOODS
(recruitment of minions)
tapindahouse: bryce my bro wont give me weed mannn
tapindahouse: FUK NO
(oh my, hardcore)
Browny_05: diice, if you had any common sense youw ould know hes just f*ckin with you
(so, Lacey's man whore is trying to befriend diicce, keep your friends close and your enemies closer)
tapindahouse: I QUIT GANGS BUT FUK CRIPS
(soooo hard core)
DIICCE_CRUNK: E MAX LETS TAKE THESE OUT THE INTERNET LETS BANG NIGGA
(caps, poor spelling, non englishlanguage)
Mighty_Max_212: Cz are better then you guys get over it
(logic has sunk in)
DIICCE_CRUNK: TO SEE HOW HARD U REALY ARE PUSSY
(logic has not sunk in)
tapindahouse: LMAO
(psychophant)
CAMARO_GUY: Ok, enough with the crap.
(arrival of the cops, hmmm let's see what happens)
LC_BABY: wow like i said before you guys are lameeee.
(logic with dbs)
Mighty_Max_212: iight dood for the 3rd time i said okay
(logic's gone)
tapindahouse: max ill fight u for bryce
(oh man, bamf)
Browny_05: lacey
tapindahouse: cypress hills between pit king and glenmore 168 montack
(dun dun dun dun! we have an address!)
LACEY_SO_SEXY: ok stop max and caylin and diicce and tapin
(other set of boobs finds logic)
tapindahouse: 11208
LACEY_SO_SEXY: wat kev
Browny_05: send me a comment
(affair! right infront of diicce's eyes!)
DIICCE_CRUNK: lol tap control ur self
DIICCE_CRUNK: i can take these pussy off the gutter
(to sum it up with a marlon brando line "I'm gonna make him an offer he can't refuse)
LACEY_SO_SEXY: ok kev but u got to send me one
tapindahouse: im doneee
tapindahouse: man im high
Browny_05: deal
LACEY_SO_SEXY: k
Browny_05: send me one first
tapindahouse: jose just ask me out
tapindahouse: hes so damn fine!!
And from that point on the conversation became completely irrelevant.
Red- Color relates to the concept of holding a fight or “bang” off of colonies.com, as in, in reality…
Green- What are “crips” and “bloods”? Apparently they’re the root of the conflict, let’s have another West Side Story flash back, Jets and Sharks anyone?
Blue- Is it just me or does it look like Browny and Lacey are having an affair?
Highlighted- Proof that women know how to settle conflict yet can’t…
So, what have learned? Men will fight over things that don’t even make sense, women will attempt to resolve conflict and fail due to the excess of male bullheadedness. A need for a guy to prove himself extends beyond a non-existent internet world and Browny’s a complete flirt…wow, that was so effective.
