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OH YES!... day 1 of season riding, Creek- park only, sweet carv's, the butters & box... not a bad start my friends, not a bad day at all!

P.S. ...is it wrong to mourn the loss of snowboard.com?


Published On: 12/11/2008
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Ok. So I'm going to explain about my saturday riding session with a FTW (for the win) vs FTL (for the loss); lets begin....


FTW:
 - 6 inches of fresh snow in the tree's with nice 'not to choppy' main groomed runs.
 - Keeping speed in the park despite new snow
 - Riding solid in the park
 - Yelling at people in the park to get out of your way and then having them clapping for your trick once you've landed it.
 - No wind
 - No precipitation
 - Vegetate '08
 - Beer for lunch breaks
 - Good crew to ride with

FTL:

 - Crowded parks
 - Douche bag skiiers in the park
 - Smashing your face into the snow with no landing gear
 - Get a resulting headache from said face smash
 - Getting snow inside your goggles
 - Having boots to small
 - Needing to use chains on a RWD car
 - Having idiots run into your female riding buddy
 - Having to get ready to fight said idiots and have them back down after them yelling.
 - Did I say smashing face into snow?
 - Getting cut off at the wall ride 3 times in a row.


It really was a fun day and all 3 of us rode super good. Just a bummer that idiots ride too.



Published On: 4/7/2008
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My Blog: WTH
By: kristin420


   The weather is insane. First it is cold then warm now cold again. I wish it would figure out if it wants to be cold or warm. This is insane I am lossing my mind. All I want to do is catch air and I don't care what board I'm on but this weather is driving me insane.
 
To much on my mind and I needed to vent but ne way peace.


Published On: 1/16/2008
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The winter is upon us once again, and this year it looks like its hitting the east-coast with a purpose. My home mountain (foothill) opened a whole two and a half weeks earlier than usual making me a happy snowboarder. Of course with me, existentialism and snowboarding go hand in hand, I seem to have a lot of thinking time in between my daily activities (on solo chairlift rides for example). Whether this is a good or a bad thing has yet to be determined. In the meantime, however, you all have to suffer from the ideas that originate from my mental meanderings about angels and my place in this world.

Recently someone dear to me has had to deal with the loss of a loved one. This is never an easy thing, however, sometimes it is more difficult than others and this has steered my usual thinking process in different and new directions, namely the metaphysical meaning of loss. Through a long and convoluted process of ideas, models and refinements, I came up with some understanding of life and after-life based on quantum theory. I don't want to get into all the details of what this means (this blog would never end), so a quick explanation using digital images will have to do; this is probably sufficient to understand the principle anyway.

In quantum theory, it is said that the more accurately you try to measure something, the less accurate your measurement becomes. This is the Heisenberg uncertainty principle which emerges from the fact that when trying to measure something smaller than the instrument your using, you can never be certain of that measurement. This can be illustrated by using digital photography as an example. These days, almost everyone has a digital camera of some sort (be it DSLR, quick snap or cell phone). I'm sure most people have noticed, especially those using a cell phone, that sometimes details in images become blurred or pixelised when they are really small or far away. This is the same principle, you are trying to represent something smaller than a pixel using a pixel. In the end your digital image becomes a microcosm of the real world. If you existed only in the digital image, you would know that something should be in that pixel, but you would have no idea of the nature of that something.

The same principle applies to our own existence. The real world is made up of fundamental particles such as atoms which are in turn made up of protons, neutrons and electrons and so on. Currently the technology exists to measure things in terms of electrons (very small), however, anything smaller suffers from the same pixel effect described previously. So we know there is something there but we cannot understand the nature of that something because we lack the tools and senses to rationalize it. So our own existence is again a microcosm of something much bigger and more accurate than anything we know and understand; much like the relationship between the digital image and the scene being photographed.

Given that our known universe is a microcosm of a much greater and more complex reality, one must wonder what sort of influence these unknown forces can have on what we see. Or alternatively what kind of beings live outside of this plane. Going back to the example of the digital image, there may be a pixel representation of a snowboarder, for example, but snowboarders do not exist in a digital image. They do exist in the world that was photographed, however, and perhaps this is analogous to the place where our loved ones are when their manifestations in this world cease to exist. Although we cannot even fathom the full nature of their existence, they are there. Similarly, much like a snowboarder is aware that he is pictured in a digital photograph, or any other snowboarders busting out rad tricks or kicking up monster rooster tails for that matter, our loved ones must be also be aware of us and that is something that I find comforting.

There is still the question, however, of what influence these unknown forces can have on our reality. I propose the Tamagotchi model. Much like the digital photo in my previous discussion, the Tamagotchi is a microcosm of our reality. It is not directly aware of our existence in spite of the fact that we can influence its existence. So what if we ourselves are part of a much bigger Tamagotchi? Are the fates pressing buttons that influence our day to day life? When we sleep or more importantly when we shred? The implications of this are profound. Although I refuse to believe that some metaphysical toddler is pressing buttons that mandate how I laugh and more importantly how I love (I'm much too stubborn to allow anyone but myself to tell me that), I don't find it unreasonable to think that the circumstances surrounding those things might be guided by a higher purpose. What the intentions of that higher purpose are, however, are probably quite beyond the realm of our own understanding.

So assuming that our universe is some sort of cosmic Tamagotchi device, it's important to remember a few things:

  • Always love. The people around you may some day end-up pressing your buttons and you wanna hope they press the shred button frequently.
  • If you do love with a pure heart, take comfort in the fact that those you love are pressing the buttons and, if they aren't looking out for you, they will at least not be dropping the house on you.
  • There's a french saying that goes "sans rancune" or without rancor. Ill will and enmity are self perpetuating so don't hold them.

Well I think that's enough deep thinking for me or soon I will be unemployed. It's probably time for me, and maybe other lift-chair philosophers, to shut up and ...

Keep Shreddin' the GNAR!



Published On: 12/11/2007
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What is Love?
Current mood: distressed

Love...is it overrated? or is it underrated?

i believe that most people find that it is overrated, but let me speak! I found love, in the eyes and arms of my husband. Even after a painful heart break or two, he came to me in the mists of dispair and misery. He lifted me above the dark abyss and led me to safety when i would have jumped. Death was so welcoming, as I groped for a chance to stay alive. Half of me was torn down into deep hate and regret, and everyother bad feeling ever known to man, while the other half was fighting for air, trying not to drown in the loss and the hurt. Nothing hurts like a lost love, but at least I had that short time with him. Even if I was to lose my husband tonight, I would survive with the hope of finding another love, another to care, and with the love of my family and my friends. I have faith that they and God will not let me down. I wasted so much of my life in depression, that I missed out on many happy moments and happy memories...I was too wrapped up in my sorrow to care about others' joy. I was too blind to notice that my aloofness was hurting the one's I held closest and dearest to my heart. For this I would like to say..."Mom, Dad, Daniel, and all the many others that I have hurt, I am eternally sorry for the misery I so unknowingly put you through. It was unnecessary pain and unneeded worrying. As you can see, I am better now. Thank you for your support through those times that only you will know about. Please forgive me."

Now that I have released that burden, let me continue by saying that love is not only something found once. I found love in the welcoming arms of two men. For the sake of my marriage, I will not say who the first and only other true love I found, but I will say that I will not forget what he meant to me and how he led me to become the woman that I have become and that I am still growing into. Only a select few will know of whom I speak...and I hope that I have not already said too much to let him know who he is. But I thank him everyday that I remember what he has contributed to my life.

Sure, the pain is horrendous, but, well, better to have loved and lost right? After all, the pain is a growth, the shaping of who we have been and who we will be. All of those we have lost will never be forgotton, but even still, we need to move on, if not for our health's sake. Dwelling on the past will bring pain, unnecessary hurt that can be forgotton. I don't want to forget the boyfriends and the hurt and the depression, but I also don't want to live on a dream that I think might come true. Every princess dreams of her prince, and believe it or not, every prince dreams of his princess, but few realize that the one they dream about may be the girl/boy next door. I have known my husband for over fourteen years, and I am only eighteen now. And I never lost sight of Tyler from the moment I realized that I liked him. I'm not sure when that like progressed into love, and who knows...maybe it hasn't. Maybe, I made a misake in getting married. I often feel that I threw myself into something I really didn't want to do. Howver, that may just be the negativity of my family, telling me that I only got married to get out of my parent's house. To an extent, that is true, but I have always loved my mom, my dad, and espcially my brother. I regret daily not getting to watch him bring his first girlfriend home, letting him cry on my shoulders when it ended badly, and getting  to stand up for him in high school. That is one thing I have dreamed about since I was little. I love my brother, and I want the best for him. And if someone hurts him unduly, then I will jump in the car, drive to Perryton, and stand up for him just like any other loving older sibling would. I am one of the few lucky ones in this circumstance, but that is a different story.

My point is, there are times that I want to take it all back and move back into my father's house. I'll take all of the yelling, the punishment and the emotional abuse and live with it like I should have. I grew up way too fast, and I don't recommend it. It truely sux. I hate having bills, house payments, loan payments, repairs, and everything that I have to watch for...seeing as I am now a "house" wife. Love is not only an emotional feeling, but a bond between two people, and this is what so many do not understand. It's not sexual attraction, it's not that feeling you get when you think of a person, but it is the great vastness of your feelings for a person, usually of the opposite sex. These feelings go beyond a quickening of the heart, clammy hands, shaky knees. It is the greatest gift that God could give to two people. It is not Lust, it is not Sex; it is simply what God says it is...it is loving, kind, and every word.(i can't think of them all right now) It is the feeling you get when he/she smiles, laughs, kisses you, hugs you, and even the way they get mad at you. Lucky for me, I have experienced this great feeling twice, and lost once, but I did not give up...I found another.



Published On: 11/16/2007
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My Blog: Just in time!
By: mixzerz


Well I joined just in time to get the sb.com hellfire rained on my head.
Everyone is aware of the server move, and the data loss of a particular time frame a few months back. shi*t happens I guess...
Aside from the minor annoyances of fritzed uploaders, lacking information (I know techs are working hard), and email verification bugs, I friggen like it here.
Maybe when they get the core member store running again I'll upgrade to that.
Maybe...

I just got back from my off season three months ago (alaska) and I can't wait for the season to start again.
I want to snowboard damnit! WHERE IS THE DAMN SNOW!?



Published On: 9/3/2007
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telus last year was the first time i had ever
been to whistler... or bc for that matter.  i had a great time and made some great friends... (and maybe some who are a bit more than friends!)  basically, i had a great time...
 
 
 
this year, i was a little worried that it wouldn't live up to last year.  lucky for me, it was a great festival.  it was quite different than last
year but in no way worse.  got to meet some great new people, saw some members i hadn't had a chance to see for a long time, plus a couple friends from ontario were able to come out and visit and enjoy the ski and snowboard festival...
 
 
the riding was great... i was worried because last year, the conditions were great... i mean really... who expects powder days in april?.. surely not an ontario kid... now that i've had them two years in a row, i'd have to say its almost common! 
yeah.. nice powder...
 
this year, there wasn't the same parties... wasn't the same night sccene with the photo comps, all the different bar nights and such, but we all managed to have a great time pretty much every night anyway... at the begininning, it was obvious that i hadn't been drinking much lately... had a rough next morning (when i didn't make it up the mountain without having to stop and uneat my breakfast at the mid-point of the gondola ride)... but by the end, i was quite capable of holding my own amongst some of the drinkers... still don't want to come near a jagar bomb in the near future though...
 
 
 
this year a few people weren't able to make it (rawstylus, board-stupid, robvalentine, lakia, coco, poser, barry, etc...) but a few new ones were able to make an appearance.  it was great to finally get to meet a few of the regulars who i had been eagerly awaiting meeting. (cusano, meggo, reachben, mowgli, matti_non_swede, cp_safety,  pink_daizy, et all...)
 
 
 
 
so to all who were there, thanks for the memories, or loss thereof.. and to those not there... what the hell are you waiting for?
 
 
 
cheers to everyone that was there!!!!  and alright fine... even to those who weren't...  already looking forward to next year.
 
 
Edit:  as a note to some (tom!) two of those pics were from last year... showing a couple things that were different... 1) kendra and i just friends, and 2) going to the photo comp with mo and kendra... there ya go!


Published On: 4/25/2007
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Why does life have to hurt just when things strart getting good? I just recently got some heart breaking news, I hate not being able to to help the people I love, having to just sit back and watch them suffer is murder. But when thers nothing you can say or to to change the things that life has delt out what else can do but just sit there, Like a deer in the headlights to f stuned to move! I HATE THAT! There are days where i wish i cuold just sit down with God and ask him why we go thourgh pain, why we experiance loss. It just doesnt make sense, I know that we cant know all the reasons for every thing but cant we just have a little less pain.


Published On: 4/24/2007
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My Blog: My politics
By: Nobax


Brief history of the SP

Having started as a leftist fledgling in 1972, the SP has, at the beginning of the 21st century, become a factor in Dutch politics and society that is impossible to ignore. We will briefly sketch this eventful history.

Workers march for better wages, 1973How it started

The foundation of the SP on Sunday 22 October 1972 wasn’t really that special. After all, these were the times when many political parties were formed, transformed and deformed. Especially on the left wing of the political spectrum it was a busy time. Inspired by the Beatles, the Stones, Bob Dylan and flower power mainly young people in Western Europe and North America had attacked the sacred cows of the post war era. “Social change” was high on the agenda of everyone on the left. Those were the days of big ideals. The Netherlands must be turned upside down, capitalism must disappear, and socialism would soon reign on earth, starting in the Netherlands. In 1972 that didn’t sound exaggerated. Society seemed adrift.

From socialism to a 'social ism'

In its first years, the SP was called a “Maoist” party. That is to say that beside the traditional Marxist criticism of capitalism it was the political views of the Chinese rebel leader and statesman that served as a guideline. Wasn't it the great Mao Tsetung who had made sure that one-fourth of the world population was no longer hungry and suppressed by bosses – while elsewhere suppression and exploitation were of the order of the day? Fine lines about nice ideals, but for the SP members it was only hearsay. The more they learned about China, the more reality appeared to differ from illusion. The “Chinese love affair” came to an end. The young SP distanced itself from teachers from faraway lands and became a party that was focused on the Netherlands. A very practical SOCIAL ism took the place of theoretical socialism. Everywhere in the country the SP lent a helping hand to residents, tenants, consumers, employees. They even ran their own medical centres, employing their own doctors, and demonstrating in a very practical way how they wanted to shape the public health sector. Thus the SP became a special party: strong and successful at the base, but without a national presence or views on national issues. The need for that was lacking. Everything took place locally. The SP may have been registered as a national political party, but in practice it operated as a “federation of local branches”.

Fifteen years later

Fifteen years after the foundation of the SP the political landscape looked completely different.
In 1977 the experimental government of left PvdA (Labour Party) leader Joop den Uyl which had come to power in 1973 had to go. The popularity of radical left wing parties was waning. Most had gone or lingered on in a weakened condition. The Communist CPN disappeared from Parliament, and the Pacifist PSP was no longer attractive. A few years later they, together with the PPR, merged into GroenLinks (Green Left). But the SP is quite a different story. Its goal was to “go to the people”. The members, initially many of them from universities and polytechnics, worked in the neighbourhoods and factories, increasing the number of members. In municipal elections those who had got to know them showed their appreciation. In 1986 the SP had some 40 council members. But in national elections other things count for voters, and the party's attempts to get into Parliament repeatedly failed.

Windows open

In 1987 the national party congress concluded that it was high time to modernize its “socialist” message: people should feel that SP was an attractive organisation in which they could recognize themselves. After some difficulties the “federation of branches” was transformed into a national party which began to develop its own views on important issues, and which was doing its best to achieve a national image. The 1991 Congress opened up the party to everyone who could subscribe to its basic principles. The old deadwood, impeding the party's development, was cast off. “Marxism-Leninism” was officially abandoned. From now on, the predicate “socialist” would suffice as the party's political compass.

A “minimum programme for a socialist Netherlands” was drafted. It was called Manifesto 2000, with “a society for people” as the subtitle. In the short term, the party congress made a breakthrough to Parliament its strategic priority.

Tomatoes and Oppositional Voices

In 1993, in order to achieve the parliamentary breakthrough, the party leadership made its most daring decision ever. Instead of telling the electorate to vote SP for a better society – worthy ideals for a distant future – the party chose a more rational and better thought out position: that of radical and effective opposition. “Vote against, vote SP” became the provocative slogan. The message being: if you don't agree with current politics, vote for us. Then we can voice your dissent in Parliament. You don't need a majority for that, even one person would do. The new strategy is symbolized by a tomato. Full of healthy vitamins, but also a feared weapon against bad political theatre.

The new approach finally caught on. Twenty years after its foundation the SP was seen by others as something new. After the municipal elections of March 1994 the party grew from 70 to 126 councillors. And on 3 May 1994 the SP won its first two seats in the Lower House, Parliament's main legislative chamber. This parliamentary breakthrough was the start of a period of spectacular growth for the party as a whole. In the first place the number of members, which for some time had been around 15,000, expanded tumultuously. Within four years it had increased to over 25,000, making the party the fourth biggest in members. This growth came from various sides. The SP “new style” became attractive for former voters and members of PvdA and GroenLinks, who found their parties surrendering to the advance of neo-liberal politics and who would rather hear the “red answer to (the) Purple (Government)” – as the coalition of right-wing liberal VVD, centrist D66 and Labour was known. 1995 brought the first seat in the Senate, after successful provincial elections, members of the Upper House or Senate being elected by provincial councillors. Outside parliament people made headway as well. Key issues, like the fight against the growing social divide, were tackled in original ways. The 1998 elections yielded five parliamentary seats and thanks to successful provincial elections (19 seats) the party won two seats in the Senate. The party appointed 'wethouders' – local councillors occupying positions analogous to ministers in a national government – in a number of towns in the southern province of Brabant. In June 1999 came the first seat in the European Parliament. The SP was now represented on all parliamentary levels.

The fees that SP representatives receive are handed over to the party (under the agreement that noone should profit from such a position), so the increase in MPs and other elected representatives also led to a substantial expansion of the party's financial resources. This money was partly used to develop a professional organisation that supported the work of the party and its MPs, as well as numerous campaigns and activities.

There was also an increase in quality, especially in the way the MPs operated. In a short time the previously unknown party leader Jan Marijnissen became one of the country's most renowned politicians. At the end of 1996 he gave a “Red answer to Purple” in "Tegenstemmen" (Oppositional Voices, available in English under the title Enough!), articulating the SP's modern vision of politics and society. "Tegenstemmen" was a clear criticism of the advance of neoliberalism, the erosion of the social democratic PvdA (since 1994 governing the country together with liberal VVD and D66 in the ‘purple’ coalition) and the implications for society of “every man for himself”. But it was also a book without dogmas, another development in the SP philosophy.

SP 2000 and after

Sometimes new ideas are spread faster horizontally than vertically. This shows when the spectacular increase is accompanied by growing pains. More than once, new SP-councillors didn’t appear to fit in with the traditional frameworks, or hadn’t settled in yet; some resigned after a short career. Clashes occurred between old staff and new members and the media didn’t fail to notice this. Quantitative growth threatened to result in loss of quality. With two congresses in the final year of the 20th century the party put its ideological and organizational affairs in order. Now that the national breakthrough had taken place the party congress of 1999 decided to prioritize what the SP had always done best: working at a local level. At the congress of 18 December the party laid down a new manifesto, The Whole of Humanity, in which the basic idea of society was formulated and the party's alternatives were outlined.

The general elections of 2002 turned out into a real voters rebellion against the governing ‘purple’ coalition of social democrats and liberals. The coalition parties were halved, to the benefit of the spectacular new populist party of Pim Fortuyn (murdered ten days before the elections), the oppositional Christian democrats – and the Socialist Party. The results proved that the SP had become a factor in Dutch politics and society. Nearly 600,000 voted for the SP (whose slogan had now changed to “Vote for, vote SP”), thus giving it an additional four seats. And at the same time the party passed the mark of 30,000 members. Just a few months later the new right wing coalition of CDA, VVD and Fortuynists had already collapsed, and new elections took place. The SP succeeded in increasing once more its number of votes but this did not result in more seats, despite the party having received a more sympathetic response than ever during the election campaign. Unfortunately, many citizens were influenced by the neck-and-neck race between social democrats and Christian democrats and in spite of their sympathy for the SP gave their vote to the PvdA. The SP did nevertheless become the fourth party in Parliament and one of the major opponents of the right wing government of CDA, VVD and D66. The provincial elections of 2003 resulted in seats in eleven out of twelve provinces, doubling the two seats in the Upper House.

The 12th party congress laid down new tasks for the future, with enhanced activities at all levels as a recurring theme.

In 2004 two seats were won in the European Parliament, and the SP also won its first representative in the parliamentary assembly of the Council of Europe. Together with the trade unions and other left parties the SP organised the biggest demonstration ever in the Netherlands, against the government’s social policy. In 2005 the party played a very important role in the campaign against the neoliberal European Constitution. Nearly two thirds of the Dutch voters reacted positively and said ‘NO’ – despite the fact that all major parties were in favour of the proposed constitution. Thanks to successful local elections, the SP doubled its seats in local councils in 2006. National elections in November 2006 resulted in massive gains for the SP. The party almost tripled its number of seats in the Lower House, Parliament’s main legislative chamber, to twenty-five and is now the third party of the Netherlands, both in seats and membership. Total membership rose to over 50,000 just as elections were taking place.



Published On: 4/7/2007
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It's been a hectic past couple of weeks and I'm finally catching up with myself.  I took a 6 day vacation about a week ago to meet up with some friends in Cranbrook and ride along the way.  The plan was to hit 6 mountains in 6 days (dubbed the 6-6 tour) I'll try to summarize what happened.
 
Day 1: I arrived in Golden late Wednesday just as a few flakes were starting to fall.  After a couple of beers and a good nights rest, I woke up to about 15 cm of unexpected snow.  Jackpot!  Got gnarly at Kicking Horse.  I'm convinced that something was lost in translation when they named the resort...probably got a horse confused with a donkey because that place was definiately kicking ass.  (It took me all trip to come up with that)  Anyways, next time I'll try to hook up with someone that knows the hill because it's pretty intimidating going to a ledge and not knowing whether it'll be the customary 5 foot drop to the run or maybe a 30 foot rock cliff.  The best riding I did was actually on the tamer front side of the hill through some fun, weed-covered areas.  Their park had some fun beginner kinked boxes to.  Oh, and side note: Tuna sandwiches are really f*cking expensive at this place.  They're good but not $7 good.  Anyways, I decided to book it to Banff for the night and after checking out the shops in town, I ended up drinking some beers with the locals in Wild Bills before finally passing out at Bumpers Inn.  Good start to the trip.
 
Day 2: I visited my old stomping ground in Banff.  Sunshine had it's typical perfect snow conditions under bluebird skies.  I did the usual routine of warming up by fooling around on the Standish hit runs then straight lining the divide into the park.  I was pretty stoked on how much the park has improved over the past 2 years.  My favorite feature was easily the wall ride which everyone else seemed to forget about.  After that, I headed out-of-bounds to hike the back door for some powder turns and natural features.  It's awesome being able to stop and take a piss with a view of the rockies.  Had lunch and drinks at the bottom pub aroudn 1 before heading back up for some more hiking and fun shredding.  After the day was done, I headed to Cranbrook under a full moon to meet up with the Calgary crew for some late night beers and story telling.
 
Day 3: Kimberely was a new hill for me.  I've never been there or even seen a picture of the place so I really had no idea what to expect.  Turns out the hill is super old school with just a high speed quad, a triple, and a double.  It was warm and sunny which turned the snow to mush by the time we'd bought our tickets and geared up.  Did a couple runs on the quad to start with Elise, Peter, Jeff, Lana, and Mara.  Elise is still learning so Jeff, Lana, and I bailed after 3 groomers and hit up the Easter and Tamarack chairs.  Found some fun tree runs  far shredders left with lots of drops, stashes, and natural jibs.  I was pretty stoked on Lana who rides better than most of the girls I've seen.  We met up with the others for lunch beers on the patio.  Elise was beat so Peter came with us for the afternoon.  Stoked!  The guy hits pretty much everything he can...I love riding with people like that.  More trees and hit runs til the chairs shut down.  Side note: all girls should have their stagettes on hill dressed in 80s retro onsies.  Loved it.  Then it was back to Peter's parents place to drink his dad's beer, eat his mom's caseroles, and soak in their hot tub.
 
Day 4: I woke up early excited to ride Fernie.  I haven't been there in about 12 years so I was pretty excited when I came down for brekfast.  Peter was the only other person who emerged from the depths mumbling something about people being hungover.  Whatever.  The two of us headed out and, after gearing up in the parking lot I realized I had forgotten my wallet in Cranbrook.  f*ck!  One swipe of Peter's visa later, we were headed straight to the top of the Lizard Bowl.  To get there you have to ride this rope tow with a sign that says "experts only" at the bottom of it.  I felt weird asking the liftie how to ride the damn thing because I don't think I ever really tried one before.  Most places leave the rope tows for the bunny hill but then again, Fernie isn't like most places.  The snow was pretty mushy again (+5 temps) so after a couple of slashers in "hot pow", we headed down to meet up with everyone else who brought my wallet with them!  Phew!).  Did some butter-filled laps on some easy green run with Elise and tried to do cartwheels which ended in a whole bunch of face wash.  Jeff, Lana, and I took off again and checked out the Cedar Bowl.  Nothing special went down other than the usual goofing off and getting lost.  Lana's front knee is pretty weak from past surgery/blow out so we were kind of choked when we ended up at some tbar by accident but she managed.  Elise hurt her tailbone or something so Peter came out with us after lunch just in time to watch some av blasting.  I've never been that close to it before...all I remember was it being a really loud bang and yelling woo in unison with everyone else on the hill.  Hit some fun gullies and log jibs and rode right to the end as usual.  I'd definiately go back there again.  Fernie is rad.  Said good byes in the parking lot and headed to my next stop: Nelson!
 
Day 5: Whitewater is henceforth known as Wetwater.  With the onslaught of slush falling from the sky mixed with temperatures hovering just above zero, I was pretty much soaked before I had even strapped in for my first run.  Whitewater was another new hill for me and it was exactly what I expected it to be: quaint little lodge with 2 double chairs, and barely any sign that someone else was on the hill with you.   It's very Baldy-esque.  The chairs felt like they were barely supporting your weight which is sort of creepy but you forget about it when you see the terrain around.  I spent most of the time on the Summit Side throwing sloppy turns on sloppier pow.  Some of my best runs were hiking in Catch Basin or dropping the trees shredder's right of Blast.  (Yes I had to consult a map for that run name)  There were some fun rock drops visible from the chair but once again, I felt like no one else noticed.  More for me!  Oh, and I'd like to note that pretty much everywhere you go, you'll end up riding a run with an avalanche caution sign.  I ate this amazing masterpiece of a burrito for lunch in the lodge pub.  If you are ever there, try it...the yam fries are worth the extra dollar.  After soaking both sets of gloves and jackets, I called it quits and went to check out the boardshops in Nelson and hang out in the Villa Motel where I was shacked up.
 
Day 6: If you're ever heading to Rossland from Nelson, you're supposed to turn off somewhere around Castlegar.  Now you know.  I didn't.  I was almost at Grande Forks before I realized what was going on and why I hadn't reached Red yet.  Oops!  I figured I would stop at Phoenix Mountain instead but they are closed Tuesday so it wasn't long before I was passing through Penticton on my way to Apex for the afternoon.  I was super stoked on the pipe and bombing the groomers off Stocks chair.  I wasn't so stoked on the crowd of Keg employees that had taken over the hill but I did see two girls chest bump over a volleyball game so it wasn't a complete loss.  I was kind of sad that I could't find anyone to ride with in my own hometown but people have jobs and stuff so c'est la vie.
 
That's it.  I'll post some pictures from the trip if anyone care.  I just chilled this weekend because the conditions were pretty much shi*te at biggie.  Only a few weeks left and it's starting to feel like spring is finally here.  Party on...


Published On: 3/12/2007
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My Blog: Season '07
By: goodgirl13


It's that time of year again!  Time for working hard, hardly working, coming home with an inch of dirt under your nails, bruises the size of...softballs...(didn't see that once coming did you?)...stichmarks, strawberries, noodles, concussions, coffee, gatorade, chocolate, two and a half  hours practices, five hour game nights, tears at losses, cheers at Fudruckers over the wins, and just a few more bruises.  Yep, it's gonna be fun.



Published On: 2/22/2007
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The world just got a little brighter with Australia introducing legislation to phase out incandescent bulbs. The great outcome of this wise decision is the ban produces an actual effect in the fight against greenhouse gas emissions. While Australia has thus far been the only other country in the developed world to reject outright the Kyoto protocol, this strategy will move it away from the United States and the policy of obscure arguments against the protocol. While many argue and perhaps rightly so that the protocols exclusion, or rather lack of inclusion, to countries in the developing world (let it be known that I dislike these terms as they are purely an economists judgment) is a major fallacy, however, to borrow a rather simple statement, one should not throw the baby out with the bath water. Australia has become and impromptu signature to the Kyoto accord by taking upon the actions which it seeks to address. It now does not matter how it feels about Kyoto. Many would argue that this has economic repercussions and could lead to potential job loss. The problem with making these arguments continually is it allows for an almost continual delay for action to occur. Companies despite what economists state rarely are the best means for producing widespread change primarily because they possess a mysterious desire to retain and indeed conserve the status quo. In the ridiculously politically charged debate about economic survival and job growth the true purpose of capitalism have been forgotten. Corporations preserve the status quo and argue that change is bad and in the next breath speak of innovation. Companies, corporations, and indeed businesses of all kinds are not meant to survive just for the sake of surviving. How can one have responsibility to ones shareholders if its actions destroy those very shareholders or jeopardize its own capacity to operate. Its about more than profit. I will continue later!


Published On: 2/21/2007
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I spent the weekend at Big White in a condo my parents rented for my sister's birthday. I felt pretty important to sleep with my head so close to the run outside. Like I was some sort of village VIP instead of the village riff raff I actually am...anyways, we drove up Friday but got in to late to do any shredding.  So we drank and played some games with the family instead. Woke up Saturday to some clearing skies, warm temps, and a little fresh snow. Amber, Tori, and I showed the parents around the mountain managing to ride almost every chair on the hill except the Plaza but it sucks anyways. After the lunch beers, we ran into Keith and Jana at the Ridge and hauled ass with them for the rest of the day. I got annoyed with my sister's run choice of groomer after groomer but it's her birthday so who am I to ruin it for her.

After shredding, we went back for a hot tub which was pretty much man soup. Nothing like hanging out with 12 old hairy men in a hot tub that seats maybe 8 comfortably. Keith and I drank their beer though so it wasn't a total loss. After that, Keith and I headed out to the park for a couple of hours. There was a comp in the pipe the next day so it was actually pretty busy but no one was doing the regular jumps and rails so we just lapped that. The best features of the night were the down box, the garbage can bonk line, and the quad-barrel rainbox-flat rail. No major spills, just fun...oh, keith ate shi*t on the trip down to the park. He tried to blame it on beer but no one ever buys that shi*t. After shredding, we got drunk(er). I did a mean impression of Frankenstein doing the wave during some game Jana brought up. I hope they got that on film.

Sunday was foggy. Snow softened up around 930 when we got our asses on the hill. We cruised around in the 7-man congo line for a while before my dad disappeared and the crew split up for lunch. Tori and I didn't want to go in yet so we explored the Powder Chair trees and found some fun little chutes. Tori had her camera so maybe some pictures turned out ok. When we went to leave at the end of the day, the fire alarm went off while we were waiting for the elevator with all our gear on those airport style trolleys. I ended up carrying 3 trips worth of bags and snowboard gear down 6 floors to the parkade. Lame.

The good nes is that I inherited a second computer from my dad's company. I guess they had to get rid of a spare so he hooked me up. I now have a Stomp PC dedicated for website, graphics, and videos. Now if only he had hooked me up with a power cord to, then I'd be in business.

Guess I should stop wasting company time...later.



Published On: 2/12/2007
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One evening, I asked my eldest daughter how her homework was coming along. "Terrible," she said, "I have to read the Odyssey. Of what relevance is a story about some Greek who was supposed to have lived thousands of years ago to me today?" I picked up her copy of the Immortal Bard's epic poem and fondly remembered when I had read it as a high school freshman more than 30 years earlier. But while I had always enjoyed mythology, my daughter was no fan of Hellenic legend. In an attempt to motivate her with this assignment, I told her, "Sherri, although I didn't know it at the time, this book showed me how to set a world record and gave me a new lease on life. If you'd read it with an open mind, it just might do you some of the good it did me." To prove my claim, I told her the story of my odyssey.

When I entered New Trier in 1963, I was well aware of its reputation as the "Harvard of High Schools" because of its lofty academic standards and the achievements of its students. Many considered the school's crown jewel to be its English Department. Incoming freshman cut their teeth on the Odyssey, and my love of mythology made this assignment one of my more enjoyable school tasks.

But we were taught more than the Homeric account of Odysseus' return to Ithaca from Troy. In every myth lay some grains of truth. Some of those facts I verified in my Ancient World History class. I read of Heinrich Schliemann's excavations in Asia Minor during the late Nineteenth Century where several "Troys" were unearthed. I was also taught that the men who destroyed those cities were the ancestors of the people who established the Greek civilization. Odysseus personified those men. When Rome conquered Greece, the story of the clever Greek gained a wider audience and he became better known by his Latin name, Ulysses.

I read other books in English and studied other peoples in history, but I never forgot the Odyssey. What made it unforgettable to me was the drive that compelled Ulysses to overcome insurmountable obstacles on a ten- year voyage home after fighting a decade-long war. Was his compulsion fictional like the poem or was Homer aware of some force that explained this extraordinary drive? I didn't know but hoped that one day I would find the answer to my question.

New Trier not only taxed the minds of its students but their bodies as well. Physical education exposed pupils to a variety of sports and other physical endeavors. I enjoyed gym because I had always been athletically inclined and had established a daily physical fitness program consisting of five calisthenic exercises. After eight months I had become quite proficient in the push-up.

Students were tested annually in five physical fitness tests, one of which was the push-up. Since my personal best was 200, I felt confident that I could break the school record. When tested, however, I performed only 123 push-ups, four shy of a new standard. The classmate who counted my total sensed my disappointment and suggested that I lighten up because I had just proved that push-ups were as simple as one, two, three. Outwardly, I smiled at his joke but inwardly I had become a push-up perfectionist and felt that I had failed.

Solace was found in the words of Jascha Heifetz, the concert violinist, who said, "There is no such thing as perfection, there are only standards. And after you have set a standard you learn that it was not high enough. You want to surpass it." In an effort to be able to perform calisthenic totals close to my personal bests anytime, I established daily minimum repetitions for all of my exercises and began to increase those minimums.

Late that fall and the following winter, I tried out for and earned positions on both of New Trier's Freshman and Sophomore Gymnastic Squads. During a January practice, a member of the varsity team told me that he didn't believe my push-up total and challenged me to perform 100. Picking up the gauntlet, I made a believer out of him. Successfully meeting this challenge energized me. Still flush with victory and feeling especially "good" during my workout the next day, I performed 222 push-ups. Twenty-four hours later, I still felt "good" and shattered my performance of the day before by ticking off 333 push-ups. Two weeks later, the "good" feeling returned and I executed 444.

I owed my January push-up records to Heifetz's maxim of raising standards. Every day I performed at least one more push-up than the day before. I was like a mountain climber, using these minimums as "base camps" from which I could launch new push-up heights when feeling "good." But the greatest result of my three new personal bests was the breaking of a psychological barrier. Until that time, I was convinced that records could only be broken by small increments. By more than doubling my personal record in less than three weeks, I knew that I didn't have to settle for being merely good at the push-up, I could be great.

How great was an open question. The summer before, I read the Guinness Book of World Records. I found that the book listed records for two of my exercises, sit-ups and chin-ups, but not push-ups. I did, however, have an inkling of what that record was. Several years before while watching the TV show "People are Funny," one of the guests was the world push-up champion who had set a standard of 3,000. I set my sights at exceeding that number and dreamed of my name in the Guinness Book. By the spring, my daily workouts consumed so much of my time that I decided not to go out for the track and field team as a pole vaulter. But my sacrifice of this sport was not in vain. I kept raising the base number of push-ups I performed daily and waited for days when I felt "good" to set new records. By the end of my freshman year, my personal best stood at 2,002 push-ups.

On a day in late July, I executed 3,003 push-ups. But my dream for inclusion in the Guinness Book was dashed. After mentioning my achievement to a friend, he informed me that a Marine had performed 5,000 push-ups. So it was back to completing at least one more push-up than the day before. More than a year passed before the "good" feeling returned. In late August 1965, I performed 4,004 push-ups. The "good" feeling returned four days later and I executed 5,005. Barring some new revelation, I was the world's unofficial push-up champion. Now it was time to put it all together, a record-breaking effort in front of witnesses to make it official.

I decided to go for it during the physical fitness tests administered at school. The year before, I performed 1,000 push-ups, the most I could squeeze into a gym period. This time, I had obtained permission to sign out of a last period study hall and finish the test after school.

On October 5, 1965, I reported to the gym for my junior year push-up test. As I stretched out on a mat, I felt a bit apprehensive. Up until that time, all of my personal best efforts hadn't been planned but rather took place on days that I felt "good." I asked myself, "Can I make this day 'good'?"

After three hours of continuous exercise, my fears had proven groundless. I passed my personal best of 5,005 push-ups and felt so "good" that only the sky was the limit. However, at 5,900, the test administrator informed me that he would stop the exam when I reached my pre-test target of 6,006. For the next fifty push-ups, I pleaded with him to let me continue. But as the responsible adult in charge, he wanted to be sure that I wasn't doing something physically damaging to myself without knowing it. If I didn't stop, he'd sit on me to ensure test termination.

After performing my 6,006th push-up, I stopped and received a round of applause from an audience of about twenty students. The test administrator announced that he was reporting my feat to the newspapers and that any future record-breaking effort by me would have to be monitored by a medical doctor. When I arrived home, dinner had already been served so I ate alone. While dining, I thought about what I had just accomplished.

I had succeeded beyond my wildest expectations. Deep in my heart, I knew that every drop of sweat, every hour of training, and every personal sacrifice I had made to achieve this record had been worth it. I was on top of the world and I liked the view. As Christmas grew near, I began planning to break my own record. After all, I had been stopped when I knew I could do more. Push-ups had become an obsession. Heifetz was right, even though my standard was now the best in the world, it wasn't enough. I felt that I had to surpass it.

To achieve that new standard, I'd need a "good" day, witnesses, and medical supervision. But my quest to discover the limit for my favorite exercise was never realized. Sixty-nine days after breaking the world push-up record, I broke something else, my neck, during a gymnastics practice and was permanently paralyzed.

As I lay in my hospital bed, I looked toward the future and saw only darkness. The body I had worked so long and hard to develop now failed to respond to my commands and imprisoned me. I worried that I would never be able to work or take care of myself and would be a burden on my family. Fears that I might die were replaced by the dread that I would live.

But while my body was shattered, my spirit, although badly bruised, was still intact. I decided to fight back and redirected the effort that had made me a champion toward the arduous task I hoped would lead to my physical independence.

During my rehabilitation, I harkened back to my quest for the push-up record when the going got rough. Knowing that I was capable of achieving what other people considered impossible, I did all that was asked of me and more. I lived in a world of three colors. Black represented the things I couldn't do, white the activities I could. Between these two tones were many shades of gray. I concentrated on this tint and through trial and error discovered what was truly light and dark. While doing so, I brightened my world to an extent that surprised my doctors, nurses, therapists, and me.

When I saw my name in the 1968 edition of the Guinness Book of World Records, my spirit was buoyed and I worked even harder. When the next edition came out two years later, my situation had greatly improved and I was attending the University of Illinois.

In 1973, I graduated, married, and continued my education. Two years later, I began a career as a federal civil servant. Shortly after, I was informed that my record had been broken. I wrote to Guinness for confirmation and my letter was forwarded to Robert Knecht, a professional acrobat. He answered my letter by stating that he had trained for eight years to perform 7,026 consecutive push-ups. "My hat is off to you," he wrote, "Your record was a tough one to beat."

Sherri interrupted and said that while my story was interesting, I hadn't told her how reading the Odyssey helped me set my record or gave me a new lease on life. I responded by asking her what question did I ask myself as a high school freshman. When she answered, "what motivated Ulysses," I told her of a book I had read several years earlier, The Ulysses Factor by J.R.L. Anderson. It was the author's premise that "There is some factor in man, some form of special adaptation which prompts a few individuals to exploits which, however purposeless that they may seem, are of value to the survival of the race." Anderson had found that the grain of truth to the Odyssey was that Homer knew that in the soul of man there is a factor driving him to firsthand discovery. Although this factor is present in all humans, it is highly developed in only a few. In times of trouble, those few lead themselves and others to safety.

Homer personified this factor in the character of Ulysses. The hero of the Odyssey wasn't driven around the Mediterranean by the whim of the gods alone. He drove himself. Once committed to the fight, there was no stopping him. Even though he was eager to return home, he had to know what was across the sea, over a range of hills, and beyond the horizon. History proved Homer correct. Conquerors and explorers who followed were also driven by this force that compelled them to unveil the unknown.

After all the seas were crossed and the land was explored, men invented new challenges to satisfy this compulsion. Some explored the polar regions, climbed mountains, and sailed across the oceans alone in small boats. Others were athletes who prepared their bodies and minds to new extremes.

I was such an athlete. At first all I wanted to do was to improve my physical condition. As my fitness program continued, I discovered that I had a propensity for the push-up. I didn't know what my physical limit for this exercise was, but I simply had to find out.

While seeking that limit, I surpassed all who had come before me. A catastrophic injury put an end to my quest, and I was never able to find my limit. Disappointed, I nevertheless was consoled by the fact that I am one of the few who objectively knows that he'd done something better than it's ever been done before. For ten years and four months no one performed more push-ups than I had.

Eventually, my record would have been broken no matter how many push-ups I would have done. I was touched by the Ulysses factor but Robert was too. Someone will always be waiting in the wings who has trained harder, longer, and wants the record more.

But in the greater scheme of things, it really doesn't matter who can do the most push-ups. What is important is what I derived from the quest. I discovered and cultivated the virtues of discipline, sacrifice, and perseverance within me while pursuing a dream. Shortly after achieving that dream, I found myself engulfed in a nightmare. But the survival component of the Ulysses factor, that leads people to safety in times of trouble, came to my rescue. Had I known in advance that I was going to break my neck, I couldn't have prepared myself better for the demanding task of rehabilitation than to train for the world push-up record. I strove, sought, and found, but unlike Tennyson's Ulysses, my quest yielded me the fortitude I needed to rehabilitate myself to complete independence. My story inspired Sherri to the extent that she read the Odyssey with enough comprehension to pass her English teacher's test. Should her little sister Katie need similar inspiration when she is assigned to read the Odyssey, I'll repeat my story. While it's too early to know whether my daughters will set any records, I hope that they'll give their best efforts to those things that are truly important to them and find within themselves the strength to persevere.

During my life, I have fought many battles, winning some while losing others. After a loss, I still remember the moment when I stood on top of the world. That one act proved to me what I was capable of if I set my mind, body, and spirit to it. It has fortified me to go on fighting battles. The experience has stood me in good stead, because the very essence of the independent life I fought so hard to regain is struggle. The founder of the modern Olympic movement, Baron Pierre de Coubertin, equated those contests to life when he said, "The most important thing in the Olympic Games is not winning but taking part, just as the most important thing in life is not the triumph but the struggle." My greatest hope is that during my final battle I will be able to look back on my life and know in my heart that I struggled well.

Published On: 1/25/2007
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leaving the last year behind was probably the easiest thing i've done,  for some reason this last year has been easy for me to let go and pretent it never happend.  it could of been mono, surgery, my friends passing away, lossing my gramma, i know everyone has shi*tty days, weeks, years its part of life gotta take the good with the bad.  You wake up and the whole of 2006 is gone.  you'll never get it back and that always creeps me out, everything you do is so final! So new years kicked off with a huge bang followed by a hangover and irish car bombs at the bar with moselle.  I dont know if it was the most inteligent way i could of spent my time but holy was it ever fun.  Thanks Joe Steve and Jon for taking us in outta the cold for that week and everyone else who came out and said hi.  So its already 8 days into the new year and i'm ready for 2008 already and not only because the new Idiana Jones 4 is coming out with harrison ford but cause i'm just so sick and tierd of this sht already.  I'm so bloody sick and have been since newyears (THANKS STEVE) and i'm house sitting now.  on sunday the water heater broke and i had some very mad tennents, so i called the neighbourhood retired electricain who managed to fix it today, as soon as he walked out the door, no joke, the fridge broke so i had to throw everything into the other fridge in the basement.  I went home to visit my parents for a bit and the coast gaurd called.  I'm still trying to get on full time with the coast gaurd, but what they called me to say was that there wouldnt be any work for me for a while because one of the vessels died and now all those people were ahead of me for work.  YAY! so now i'm browsing classifieds (and the personals looking for a rich older man) @$@#$@  grrrr just one of those days eh? keep it classy
 
image


Published On: 1/8/2007
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so goes another day in the life of....: vertigo no go...
By: nunca


that sense of not being able to tell which way is up, the flat light snowblind sensation that gravity is no longer on your side and that vision can no longer be trusted... it doesn't want to go away - it has transfered itself into my daily life, somedays it is like almost nothing, other days it keeps me bed bound.  say no to the vertigo!

otherwise, bali was unreal, baker has been sick, also hit up schweitzer, steven's and whistler, my sled is in rehab and should be out soon, i moved in with my best friend, my younger brother is moving up here to shred with me and rule the nw, truck is happy, despite the hearing loss and vertigo, overall - life is good! 


Published On: 1/5/2007
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Dead Skin Mask


Graze the skin with my finger tips
The brush of dead cold flesh pacifies the means
Provocative images delicate features so smooth
A pleasant fragrance in the light of the moon


 
Dance with the dead in my dreams
Listen to their hallowed screams
The dead have taken my soul
Temptation's lost all control

Simple smiles elude psychotic eyes
Lose all mind control rationale declines
Empty eyes enslave the creations
Of placid faces and lifeless pageants

In the depths of a mind insane
Fantasy and reality are the same

Graze the skin with my finger tips
The brush of dead warm flesh pacifies the means
Incised members ornaments on my being
Adulating the skin before me

Simple smiles elude psychotic eyes
Lose all mind control rationale declines
Empty eyes enslave the creations
Of placid faces and lifeless pageants
 
Dance with the dead in my dreams
Listen to their hallowed screams
The dead have taken my soul
Temptation's lost all control
 
 Skeletons Of Society

Minutes seem like days
Since fire ruled the sky
The rich became the beggars
And the fools became the wise
Memories linger in my brain
Of burning from the acid rain
A pain I never have won

Nothing here remains
No future and no past
No one could foresee
The end that came so fast
Hear the prophet make his guess
That paradise lies to the west
So join his quest for the sun

Shades of death are all I see
Fragments of what used to be

The world slowly decays
Destruction fills my eyes
Harboring the image
Of a spiraling demise
Burning winds release they fury
Simulating judge and jury
Drifting flurries of pain

Deafening silence reigns
As twilight fills the sky
Eventual supremacy
Daylight waits to die
Darkness always calls my name
A pawn in this recurring game
Humanity going insane

Shades of death are all I see
Fragments of what used to be

Minutes seem like days
Corrosion fills the sky
Morbid dreams of anarchy
Brought judgement in disguise
Memories linger in my brain
Life with nothing more to gain
Perpetual madness remains

Shades of death are all I see
Skeletons of society
Fragments of what used to be
Skeletons of society

South Of Heaven

An unforseen future nestled somewhere in time.
Unsuspecting victims no warnings, no signs.
Judgment day the second coming arrives.
Before you see the light you must die.

Forgotten children, conform a new faith,
Avidity and lust controlled by hate.
(The) Never ending search for your shattered sanity,
Souls of Damnation in their own reality.

Chaos rampant,
An age of distrust.
Confrontations.
Impulsive habitat.

Bastard sons bagat your c*nting daughters,
Promiscuous mothers with your incestuous fathers.
Engreat souls condemned for eternity,
Sustained by immoral observance a domineering deity.

Chaos rampant,
An age of distrust.
Confrontations.
Impulsive sabbath.

On and on, south of heaven
The root of all evil is the heart of a black soul.
A force that has lived all eternity.
A never ending search for a truth never told.
The loss of all hope and your dignity.

Chaos rampant,
An age of distrust.
Confrontations.
Impulsive habitat.

On and on, south of heaven
 
Expendable Youth
Gun down cold on a raw deal
Home turf my battlefield
In no one's way caught in a crossfire
Stray bullets can kill
Expendable youths
Fighting for possession
Having control the principle obsession
Rivalry and retribution
Death the only solution

Inured soul lies on the ground
Head blown off face down
Lying in a pool of blood
An accidental death homicide
Struggling to survive
The drug induced warfare
To have control and principle obsession
Expendable youth fighting for possession
Violence is only a friend

Expendable youths
Fighting for possession
Having control the principle obsession
Rivalry and retribution
Death the only solution

 


Published On: 12/29/2006
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All these songs and poems mean alot to me, i wrote them throughout the years, and everyone is my inspiration, friends, family, life, how i feel, what i go or have gone through i express it from my writing! Its only the first draft of them, i dont really have the time to work on them properly, Im going to get a acoustic guitar soon so i can start learning then hopefully when im ready perform them !
music and song writing is like my therapy, when ever something tragic happens I write it down, and when I write a poem or song out of it, it makes me think of the situation in a positive way and seeing it down on paper into something amazing rather then sulk about it for days on end! I dont know what I would do without my music! If people only knew how much they inspire me to write!

I need your opinions people ..bad, good? any improvements?..all comments are welcome..negative and positive!



Caught Up

You're so amazing, you're in a band
strumming a guitar, the screaming fans

You feel alive standing on stage, lights on you, you're ready to play

Your caught up in the music
Your caught up with the fame
Your surrounded in that moment feeling no shame

You sing your heart out, you gave me yours
Don't want you to forget who I am, your girlfriend your life your whole life plan
I love you I need you don't get caught up in the band

Your caught up in the music
Your caught up in the fame
Here I am wondering if you will ever be the same

Your so talented your voice, your scene
making money and following your dream
You feel the energy I feel pain hoping that someday everything will be okay

You told me you love me, you told me I'm your world I feel the same caught up in a fantasy world

Don't get caught up with your music, the fame and all
Don't get caught up with your fans, ill start to fall

For every song that you sing remember who you are for every word of support I have given you my baby is a star
Get caught up in your dreams
Get caught up with the fun
Don't ever forget your special someone



A Broken Angel

An angel is for guidance, for you and me,
you broke its wing why can..t you see
this angel can't fly without its wing
you broke the angel the angel within me

An angel is for protection, for all alive,
misusing yourself has made the angel cry,
feels betrayed and the one to blame
thinking if you will ever be the same

An angel is forever an angel is for life
loose the precious angel, a part of the angel has already died

An angel is for love,
something we never had,
thinking if you are my angel only makes me sad,
you broke its wing it will never fly,
all the angel wanted was to be with you to the day you die

An angel is forever an angel is for life,
lost a part of the angel that you will never find

An angel is for friendship,
to make you laugh and smile,
exchanging words together makes it all worthwhile,
days go by there's a distance near,
i will never be the same angel as my image of you has now disappeared..

I was your angel


Hold Me

If I had my way Id wish you were here with me today,
if I had a choice Id do anything to hear your voice
If I could, I would want you to

CHORUS
hold me, and not let go
I wish you were here with me
I have to know, if our love is everything

If I could have my way Id want you to stay,
if I had one wish Id long for your kiss,
no matter how I feel I'm praying this is real

hold me, and not let go
I wish you were here with me
I have to know, if our love is everything

Ohh, I want you I need you
Ohh I cant explain
Ohh how much you mean to me
I have to wait and see

hold me don..t dare let go
I wish you were here with me
I have to know..

I need your arms around me, I'll wait for the day
when you are with me I want you to stay and hold me



Sad Little Girl

Just when I think, your there for me, I turn around and look what I see, this sad little girl, my reflection I see, not wanting to admit that little girl is me..

Just when I think
your there for me, I turn around and look what I see
this sad little girl
my reflection I see
not wanting to admit..not wanting to admit..
that little girl is me

I look around no ones there, I take this life without a care, is anyone there for me, I cant see, all I see is this sad little girl staring back at me

Now a tear has fallen from my face, I look again feel like a disgrace, not wanting to live not wanting to die, all I say is why why why..

A new day has come, can I face it?. Looking at me will I break it?. Are these feelings that I feel inside normal for every girl wanting to hide..

Just when I think
Just when I think
your there for me, I turn around and look what I see
this sad little girl
my reflection I see
not wanting to admit..not wanting to admit..
I want to forget...
that's me



If You

If you only knew how i feel today,
tears comes from my eyes flowing away
If you only knew how much i miss your warming hugs and non existant kiss
If you only knew where i was
thinking of you just because..

I only wanted you to be mine
Everyday i would go home crying
Seeing you everyday makes me wonder
what would have happened..

If you only knew what it took for me to smile
knowing ill be waiting here for awhile
If you only knew how much you meant
Ill never forget the day we met

I only cared, I only loved you
I lost you once, ill never forget who
took you away and i am lost
I need help to heal my broken heart

If you only knew how i feel today
tears coming from my eyes
Why wouldnt you stay!!!

I only wanted you to be mine
Everyday i would go home crying
Seeing you everyday made me wonder
what would have happened
if you..



A Piece of Me

I don't understand why life is unfair
took you away without a care
I knew he meant well and yes he did
left me here ..without you.. to grow up from
when I was a kid

And why a piece of me has gone
I can't go on without you I'l try..
and why a piece of me has gone
knowing I will never see you

I don't understand why I can't seem to accept
that you are no longer here, I'd rather forget
I lost you now I have to move on
pray every night that I will carry on ..without you..

and why a piece of me has gone
I can..t go on without you ..I'll try..
and why a piece of me has gone
knowing I have lost you

and why a piece of me has gone
I feel so alone ..alone.. knowing your gone
I have to carry on I..ll try..

A piece of me x3

and why a piece of me has gone, I can..t go on without you
I'll try.. and why a piece of me has gone knowing I have lost...you



What If

What if I walked left or right
what if it was day or night
I chose one way and the day
that is why I am here today

What if I smiled to a stranger or a friend
What if I cried a million tears having nothing to shed
I chose to smile at a friend
A shoulder to cry on
saved me in the end

What if I said I liked you more as a mate
what if I believed we could start to date
I told you how I feel
I chose to say
I have to deal with the hurt
whatever comes my way



What it Takes

When I try and be who I am
thinking of my whole life plan
when I want to be happy in life
not resort into taking my life

What it takes to be with you
what it takes to hold onto my life
I dream of being with you
I dream it will last

What it takes to show you how I feel
What it takes to show you this is real
that I love you and need you

When I try and make it all work out
when I fail and try to sort it all out
my whole life plan and what you mean to me
I know one day we can be

I know im not perfect I know I cant try

All I want is to be with you
you make living life so worthwhile
What it takes for you to be my future and find out the real me

Who I am my whole life plan
being happy in life
not resort into taking my life

I know im not perfect I know i cant try no one ever knows why



In My Eyes

I have lived my life the way it is
I have cried and tried to forgive you
but now I know no one..s worth the pain
and

In my eyes I see the truth
the reason why I cried for you
and now I know I have to let go
and

In my eyes I know the reason why
I trusted you and how you were there
But now you just don't care
and when I cry no ones worth the pain
and

I don't want to cry I don't want to die inside
I don't want to see I don't want to believe
that one day you were a part of me
and

In my eyes I see the truth
the reason why I cried for you
and now I know after all this time
now I know after all I cried
left me feeling empty inside and
what I see now in my eyes

Stranger

I stand there alone
strangers around
,
suddenly I become so aware of the ground

strangers are near
here I am hoping that you would be here
Im left on my own
wondering why, waiting and watching as the time goes by
A stranger walks past, my heart skips a beat
If you only knew how my life would be complete
for that stranger to walk my way
for that stranger to hold my hand and try to understand
why im standing in the first place
why I bother and care
feeling a sense of loss
because you werent there


Ill Be There

Wherever you are, however you feel,
your not alone Im on your side
and wherever I am whatever I do I'll always be there for you
dont think your on your own and hope is gone
dont think that you cant relate and dont feel the need to appreciate
what you have, who you are even when hope seems so far


Ill be there to catch you when you fall,
cry your tears, ill take away your fears

Ill be there to guide you to help you understand
to make you dream of your whole life plan

Ill be there to catch you when you fall,
cry your tears, I'll take away your fears


You have chances, you have goals
dreams of becoming someone special
You have a voice, you have a mind,
a heart to remind you your one of a kind
A voice you can speak through
a helping hand my dear friend to help you understand

Wherever you are, however you feel your not alone Im on your side and wherever I am, whatever I do, I'll always be there for you


And Now I

And Now I'm Stairing At The Sky
Wondering If Time Will Pass Me By.
Will I Get The Sun Or The Moon?
Some People Think Lifes Not Fair Too Me
They Just Need to Look Around And See.
The Gold Chariot Awaits Us When You Show
This Is One Of My All Time Lows.

Because Waiting Here For You
Makes My Heart Ache.
And Sitting Here For You Makes My Heart Feel Fake.

Wait I Want You Here, Sitting With Me Under The Bright Streetlights.
Wait I Want to See Your Perfect Smile, Pressure Me To Be Something.
Your Eyes Are Mezmerizeing Can't Seem To Get Them Out Of My Head.
Wait I Want To See You Laugh Again, Your Beautiful.

And I'll Wait For You Forever
Even If You Think We Don't Belong Together.
I Know We Do
And I Know Its True.
But When Waking Up To Your Eyes Seems Natural.
Then The Rest Of Our Lives Will Be Normal.
Do You Need Me?
Cause I Really Need You Now

Because Waiting Here For You
Makes My Heart Ache.
And Sitting Here For You Makes My Heart Feel Fake.

Wait I Want You Here, Sitting With Me Under The Bright Streetlights.
Wait I Want to See Your Perfect Smile, Pressure Me To Be Something.
Your Eyes Are Mezmerizeing Can't Seem To Get Them Out Of My Head.
Wait I Want To See You Laugh Again, Your Beautiful.

And I Will Wake Up And Taste Your Lips.
Crush Me With Your Deadly Kiss
Because I'm Not Afraid To Die.
As Long As None Of This Is Just A Lie.
Because I Want You And I Need You.
So Give Me One More Shot.
Underneth It All Im Not So Bad.
Im Not So Bad.

Because Waiting Here For You
Makes My Heart Ache
And Sitting Here For You Makes My Heart Feel Fake.

Wait I Want You Here, Sitting With Me Under The Bright Streetlights.
Wait I Want to See Your Perfect Smile, Pressure Me To Be Something.
Your Eyes Are Mezmerizeing Can't Seem To Get Them Out Of My Head.
Wait I Want To See You Laugh Again, Your Beautiful.

I Want To See You Laugh. I Want To See You Smile.
I Want To Look In Your Eyes And Tell You I Love You.

-Matty



This Isnt GoodBye

I didn't know how you felt, I didn't know all the pain
If I could id go back into the past and make everything alright again

All I know is these tears and all my fears are because of you, your beautiful
and this is not goodbye, these tears forever will cry and you will always be a part of my life

I didn't know your love, I didn't know your thoughts
If I could id go back into the past and make everything alright again

All I know is these tears and all of my fears are because of you, your beautiful
and this is not goodbye, ill never understand why you had to go, ill miss you so, these tears forever will cry and you will always be a part of my life

and this is not goodbye, I'll miss you, I'll see your face in the skies above smiling down on me, I know this is not goodbye
-Inez



Published On: 12/3/2006
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My Blog: ...
By: lil_lizzy


feeling alone?
someone loves you
more than anything
they'd die with you
if not for you
dont let go
you'll lose them forever
NEVER let go
the tears
the hopes
the fears
will break loose
one loss could
equal ten more
and eventually
eveyone's gone
you're still not alone
everyones still there with you
if he left me
i'd kill myslef
life's not worth living
wtihgout him
through the tears
extending the hopes
depleating the fears
im ugly
but beautiful
im weak
but strong
im stupid
but intelligent
im coward
but brave
the negativity
the pain
now positivity
and joy
the ying of yang
the good of bad
my opposite
that i cant resist
my day dark and gray
he's the sun and stars
always looking on me
to see if im fine
when im not
the sky is gray and cries
tears from his face
you may call it god
i call it "ma copain"
always there for me
the good and sad
i know he feels the same
everyday
in three simple words
"i love you"
those words are all it takes
to change death
to life
if i ever lost him
by murder
or suicide
i'd probally cry myself to death
becasue i've lost the
one person
i want to spend
my life with
so remember
when you're "ugly"
you're beautiful to him
when you're "stupid"
you're his enstein
when your'e "weak"
he's got a spare shoulder
scared?
he's holding your hand
all the way through
like a shadow
following you everywhere
whispering
"ill never leave you"
looking back in the mirror
"you're perfect"
the wind blowing through your hair
"i want to hold you"
anything around you
even your door
trying to say
"ill keep you safe"
your chair
"lean on me"
a blanket
"ill keep you warm"
your pillow
"get some sleep. tommrow'll be better"
the tissue wiping away the tears
"dont cry, im here now"


Published On: 11/29/2006
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Yes, it is that time again for:
RANDOM HOSTILITY!!
 
1: Sony computer Entertainment: WHAT IN THE NAME OF THE GODS OF MONKEY WHORES ARE YOU THINKING! A six hundred dollar system?? are you kidding? sure let me sell you my soul and then hack off my arm for you Sony! after all, none of your hardware has ever had any hitches before you near-sighted, customer service challenged f*ckers! And thank you soo much for doing what everyone else has been doing for the last ten years, faster gaming, better graphics, and MORE USLESS FEATURES! i dont want a Personal computer to play on my f*cking T.V! The great thing about computers is they dont take up the tv to play! get some originality for f*cking consept-stealing bitches.
2: The f*ckwhores at Best Buy: Say it with me. RETURN POLICY!...good, now try CUSTOMER SERVICE! Both of these things you are lacking in terribly! i cant even compare you to monkeys right now because THEY WOULD DO BETTER! it would be a insult to monkies all over to globe.
3: The Bush Jr. Administration: You know, theres just so much to say and so little time to say it. WHAT THE f*ck ARE YOU THINKING! Have you a brain in that pathetic excuse of a head? Can you think for more then ten seconds? CAN YOU TO ANYTHING BUT BE A MOVING SPERM DONER someone please tell me becuase i am seriously at a loss for words. fist this war which is just about as bad a idea as the Childrens Crusade. Then theres the war in Iraq which is just...so much to hit on at once i dont have the time or energy to even try and get the point across. Then theres Katrina, then theres  his Vice President shooting some guy in the face with a shotgun full of Bird-shot, can this guy do anything other then shi*t himself right?
4: 9-11 Conspiracy Theorists: WHAT THE f*ck IS THIS! You really think our government is sick enough to not only let Terrorists hijack these planes but also set charges UNDER the f*cking towers to make them fall? What sick needs to be shot neo-nazi came up with this half-baked scheme? Me, the lover of any and all conspiracy theories even calls this one bogus. DO NOT GIVE ME YOUR BULLshi*t about iron not being meltable at a planes exploding temperature, IT DOESNT NEED TO MELT IT NEEDS TO BREAK! Something capable with half that heat a 3rd of that force and so little effort that a mans arm can do it. (dont believe me look up BLACKSMITHING!)
5: Spinach Farmers: WASH YOUR GOD-DAMN PRODUCT! a f*cking E-coli breakout are you f*cking kidding me? how hard is it to waash a head of god-damn spinach? is there a reason you didnt? you were busy f*cking bessie the cows ass or something??
6: Preps: Take you and your sweater-vest wearing, tie toating, valley-girl selves and go commit a mass suicide! the world would be so much better without you i swear to you here and now. i swear to god if i hear the word "like" between every-other sentence through another retarded story again i will strangle every cute god-damn bunny i see untill all the Beverly Hills wanna-be's choke on there own evil bile and die. The best part is there retarded superiority to everybody else, there own god damn self righteosness that i want to beat out of them with a wet noodle.
7: Jocks: I HOPE YOU ALL BECOME UNICS! if theres anyone more self-righeous then preps its the Jocks! "oh my god that was so awesome i had two touchdown runs." f*ck YOU NO ONE WILL EVER CARE THAT MUCH. Quit using your peasized brains to try and steal the rest of our Girls like you own everything you f*cking daft pricks. I swear to you here and now if i hear about another jock getting lucky iwth one of my friends Girlfriends ever again i will beat that jock and that entire team into something similar to a pudding. dont believe me, JUST TRY ME.
 
thank you for reading this very special RANDOM HOSTILITY! say tuned for new installments.   


Published On: 11/25/2006
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