Ever wonder how dirty your friend's minds are? Well I recently
came up with what I think is a sure fire way of finding out. I don't
know if everyone is familiar with Booster Juice; it's a juice bar
who's mission is “To provide customers with an incredible, healthy
alternative to fast food that's great tasting, convenient and
nutritious...”. I recently stopped off at one of these juice bars
while helping my friend Tiffany shop for snowboarding boots (I seem
to be the resident expert/consultant amongst my friends). Anyway, as
we were commenting on how tasty our Booster Juices were, it occurred
to me that Booster Juice can be abbreviated to B.J.; an acronym
shared by another notably enjoyable thing. I decided that this was a
good way of measuring how dirty a person's mind is. So Tiffany and I
now refer to them exclusively as B.J.s. -- Where are you going? Out
to get a B.J. How much does it cost to get a B.J.? About 6 bucks.
Wow that's cheap. Not really. Is it good? Fantastic! -- I think
you get the picture. Here's what happened when we decided to test
this hypothesis in the field:
Test #1:
The first test subjects were my friend Gurbir and his girlfriend.
I already know how dirty his mind is and how pure hers is so
they proved to be poor test subjects. Gurbir listened to Tiffany and
I tell him how we got fantastic B.J.s at Bayshore and he never batted
an eye. I think his girlfriend was afraid to ask.
Test #2:
The second test subject was my brother. I had switched my tag-line
on MSN to “We got fantastic B.J.s at Bayshore”, so when he saw
this he immediately asked about it. The conversation went like this:
Bro: “You got a BJ at Gayshore?”
Me: “Yeah.”
Bro:
“From a chick though right?”
Me: “Umm, initially.” (It was
a girl who took the order, a guy mixed the B.J.)
Bro: “Good
enough.”
Me: “I was with Tiffany, she got one too.”
Bro:
“Ok what do you mean by BJ?”
Me: “Booster Juice. What did
you think I meant?”
Bro: “Fag!”
The following is a summary of what we've found so far in our
field testing. This study is far from complete however; more field
work needs to be done.
-
Booster Juice is yummy and can be abbreviated to B.J.
-
Referring to things with intentional double meaning is often
a good way of finding out how dirty a person's mind is.
-
It's fun to see how people react when you tell them you're
going out for a B.J.
-
If you ever wondered how deep in the gutter your friend's
minds are, ask them if they'd like to stop off for a B.J.
So if you're fortunate enough to have a B.J. franchise in your
town, be sure to think of me the next time you go.
If you don't, look into opening one; peddling B.J.s can be quite lucrative. Also be sure to only refer to them as their acronyms, it may be
pretentious but it's fun. Until next time, enjoy your B.J.s and...
Keep Shreddin' the GNAR!
J.
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