Cars need two horns.
Every car should come equipped, as part of their standard package, with two horns. Why? Because the horn has two very different moods that go with it. If somebody cuts you off, you want them to know you are pissed. If there is a dog laying across the road, ignoring your car, you want to let it know that it had better get the hell out of your way. If a Semi is about to merge into the area you are occupying you want to let him know that you are there. If you are in a traffic jam you might need to vent your frustrations. For all of these situations you need a deep, loud, abrasive, mean-sounding horn that serves as a warning to others, and a real stress remover for you.
On the other had maybe you see a friend drive by on the road and you want to grab their attention to wave at them, or you are following in a wedding reception, or honking a goodbye to your grandmother as you pull out of her driveway. For these occasions you need a happy-go-lucky, cute little, meep-meep horn for your car.
You cannot just have one or the other, You might make your friend wet himself, or give your grandmother a heart-attack if you use your big horn on them, and you just can't say "screw you too, jerkoff!" with a horn that sounds like the roadrunner. And hybrids never have either of the desired sounds, they fail to be friendly enough to say ":-) hello (-: ", or mean enough to say "Eat-@#$%-choke-and-die scumwad!" so they are unsuitable for serving any purpose.
Now, obviously you wouldn't want to mistake which horn is which... using the wrong one, as I pointed out before, could be disastrous or humiliating, So I suggest that we do not put the triggers for both horns on the steering wheel... I think that we ought to put the nice horn there, so it is easy to find and with any luck you will use that one more anyway. For the mean horn, I say we get the same setup the truckers have! Give me an airhorn with a tug-trigger like that! What could let out your aggressions more than reaching up to your left, and tugging down on a chord which releases a bast of sound so obnoxiously loud as to make your target quiver. OOOooo it makes me all warm inside just thinking about it
