Words of Wisdom 

If they ever come up with a swashbuckling School, I think one of the courses should be Laughing, Then Jumping Off Something.

Why do people in ship mutinies always ask for "better treatment"? I'd ask for a pinball machine, because with all that rocking back and forth you'd probably be able to get a lot of free games.

Too bad you can't buy a voodoo globe so that you could make the earth spin real fast and freak everybody out.

I hope if dogs ever take over the world, and they chose a king, they don't just go by size, because I bet there are some Chihuahuas with some good ideas.

Contrary to what most people say, the most dangerous animal in the world is not the lion or the tiger or even the elephant. It's a shark riding on an elephant's back, just trampling and eating everything they see.