My Default Blog
Friday, December 30, 2005
Another sleepless night, I am thinking about all the things I would like to forget, I wrote my feelings down, I see as if this makes me feel less vunerable to depression. The way I see it is that if I talk or write my feelings down in my case I will be less likely to feel like I haven't got what I need to say out. I go endless for hours talking about one subject to a person and they will never hear the full coversation, but when I write it interest there notion and they feel as if they know what I am feeling.
Friday, December 09, 2005
Wet and ICY mess for the past two days.
We broke the record for Texas 15 degrees from 86 years ago!
Well I have been sick with a whole bunch of crap , broncitius and sinitus and other nasty crap. I stayed home the past two days and it totally sucked! Not like going to work is any better but the whole sick part is the worst. Most of the time I slept, or I watched TV.
My life is so BORING!!! lol.. yeah I am so ready for the HOLIDAYS!!
God I hate school, its the going part that kills me...I mean I have to go home from work and go to school, it just tires me out. Although next semester I will have all online classes!! I am so ready for this semester to end, I have dredful finals next week! Good thing I don't have class on Monday, then I have a final on Tuesday and Wednesday.
Man it really pisses me off, I am sitting at lunch at work and I have to listen to two girls talk in spanish!! AT work.. they both speak english, I don't understand, its very rude of them to just sit there and speak spanish right there in front of all english speaking people. I want to say something but I don't want to be rude, but then again I do. Is like stop that, it is so annoying!! GRRRRRR
Monday, December 05, 2005
Last Night was the most amazing night I could possibly have. Jesse and I sat and cuddled on the couch talking for hours about all the things that bother us, all the things that we needed to just let out, and even the things we wanted to do in our lifes. We talked about everything that we could possibly talk about, it helped build our relationship and understand each other more. As I cried my million tears as we layed on the couch talking about everything we began to have the most passionate sex ever. Before last night I had begun to believe that this relationship was falling apart, and last night was a break through, finnally we can actually go somewhere with it, forever it was a stand still relationship. After that we took a shower and went to go to bed, and we ended up having sex a second time. At last my heart feels whole.
Friday, December 02, 2005
My appetite is changing, my head is swirling, and I can barely breath, the coldness that hits me like a knife, I feel it all around. Winter pushes on, my heart slowly trys to survive.
Small wind, deep sky, blue eyes. Take me home to where I belong. Where winters are white, the trees smell of cedar and the warmth of the night takes you away. The gentle breeze that takes me to this place, so far away, my heart desires this long lost love. Take me to this place where I need to be. I look into the past where stress melted away and all my dreams come true.
Into your eyes, mesmorized, hypnotized by the thought that persumes me. My heart slowly beaten into what you want me to be. I become your stone that you rest on, only stopping by for your benefit. My heart longs for your companion, only asking you to think about me. Every now and then , think of me.
This is some jumbled up thoughts.. I wanted to write down...lol or type...
Thursday, December 01, 2005
Today at work I feel so out of place, I am working in something that I am not true to. I want to be something different that what I am doing right now. I know what I have to do to make what I want happen, and that is to work, study, and educate myself to be where I should be. I want to be an educator, most students today think they do not make enough. These people do not see the benefits and the self rewards. Money isn't everything in my prospective, being poor my whole life I have never needed that much money to survive. I feel as if these people disregard me as a person because of who I want to be. I know that I will be a powerful inspiration in many young childrens life, hopefully changing the way young people think about school.
The point I am directing to is that tommorrow I am suppose to tell my employer all the goals I have for my future in their company although I do not wish to be in this position forever. How in the world do I lie, I am not a lyer!! I just feel like I am leading her on telling her the reason I am getting my office admistration assosicates degree is because of my job, but really later on in my teaching carreer I want to teach something in computers!
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