All the Fixin's

Meghan, please report to the service desk, Meghan to the service desk please, the pleasant voice chirps. I gather my belongings and make my way down the blue plush carpeted stairs.

I am relieved that my lighter is now fixed after two years of being on the outs. Throwing a smile to the man behind the counter while writing out the check for $39.45, I ponder the soon to be luxury of not having to purchase any more batteries for my cd player. Not to mention that I am once again able to hide behind my radar detector. The man smiles back at me with a nod and adds, "It's the simple things in life that make ya smile isn't it?" "Oh, you have no idea," I retort.

Rrrrrrrrip! goes the check, "Thank you," sqeaks the young woman in the pink turtleneck sweater. After my less than heartfelt goodbyes, I troop outside to my awaiting VW which seems to be glowing with a newfound happiness. I plomp myself into the driver's seat and reach to plug in my radar detector with an ehre of urgency. As the plug meets the socket my heart drops at the silence.

The silence....

Within moments my blood starts to boil. "Keep calm, just keep calm," I reassure myself. At this point I am supposed to be at work in less than a half an hour and I realize that I am going to be fashionably late, but nevertheless I needed to have this problem irradicated.

As I approach the service counter, I see the gentleman gesture to me with his head and hand simulataniously, "Yes, can I help you?" "Uh ya, well I just tried my lighter and it still wasn't working." With a look of total disregard he shrugs his shoulders and says, "Well you told us to put in a new lighter, you never asked us to check if that was the real problem." I could feel the blood rushing like a freight train to my head. "Yes I told you to put in the lighter, that you are correct, but I was told by your dealership a couple months ago that if it was not the fuse that was the problem that I would most likely need a new lighter and that they could install it for me." He turned to his collegue and displayed an, "I don't give a rats ass" face and condescendingly snapped at me, "Well, like I said you never asked us to check to see if that were really the problem, so, we are not responsible for that."

At this point little miss nice girl had left the building and flaming bitch had stepped in to rectify the "situation." "So, you mean to tell me that I just paid you $40 to have my lighter fixed and you are not going to fix it?... AAAAAAAAAAND on top of that you are not even going to indicate to me that replacing the lighter was not the problem?" "WHAT THE BEEEEP KIND OF BEEEEEEEEPING PLACE IS THIS I WANT TO SPEAK TO YOUR MANAGER!" "I AM the manager and like I said ma'am this is not our problem. We can bring the car back in and check it out but just to look at it is an extra $36." With a point of my finger making sure the whole dealership hears my case, "Oh ya? Well after I call the Better Business Bureau on your ass it WILL be YOUR problem asshole!"

I slam the door on my exit making sure I create a scene then in my car still not completely saticfied with my psuedo Oscar performance, I see a vision just ahead of me. I pull out from my space and swerve stratigically to the left into a mud puddle near the front of the building. Ah yes those beautifully shining front windows....always a staple of any "REPUTABLE" dealership. With a 1...2...3...my tires begin to spin feverishly christening the spotless windows. In my rearview the people sit stunned at the unfolding events. Me, I just giggle with a twinkle in my eye as I rip out of the parking lot and on my way.


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Published by Meggs: 2:00 AM
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