HAPPY CANADIA DAY!!!
"She came to me"
"Do souls have eyes?" she whispered to me as I pulled my chair up along her bedside. "I think so", I commented. "Do you think that I will see them all again?" I sat gazing at her with my loving eyes. Her hands dry from the stale air which circulated the cramped space. "I think that when you get there, you'll know. I know that grampy is looking down at us laughing his ass off at the silly mistakes that we make," I replied. She nodded and looked away then said, "I am ready to see him. I am ready to see my parents again."
I knew she was ready. She passed soon thereafter and I wondered if she had found her answer to her burning questions.
Monday night, two weeks after she passed, she came to me. In my dream, she came to me.
With a tap on my shoulder I knew. I turned around and there she stood in her pink lace dress we lay her to rest in. Her face still bore the markings of the mask she wore on her ceramonial day, though I knew it was her. My eyes met hers and she spoke in an eagar tongue, "It's true!", she exclaimed. "They DO have eyes! I saw them all!" I knew right away, though in dream state, I knew that she had come to me. It was not in my head. She was coming to me to tell me the truth about death. I awoke with a sense of disbelief and peace. She had come to me to ease my mind. They did have eyes afterall. I know now that she is at peace.
|
Published by Meggs: 2:00 AM
|
"It's all in the cue"
Have you ever taken notice to the way people play pool? Well if you're like many people most likely you haven't. Although if you are me, and you tend to look at everyday situations as being snipits of humor, you definitely have.
In observing last night's carnival I saw a variety of abilities and techniques applied. Some were very well executed while others struggled horribly in the attempt.
The "shakey" is what i call the person who is not well read on how to hold the cue. their fingers flail and jiggle all over the place hoping to just strike the cue ball at all. This person typically plays once every 5-6 years and more than likely is a girl who just comes along to watch yet somehow gets dragged into playing a game or two as a fill in.
The "sketchy" is the one who everyone hates. This person is usually very limited in skills and tends to play a couple times per year. sometimes this person gets better the more they drink. The "sketchy" player also has luck behind them. They will aim for one shot and miss it but make another shot instead. This constitutes the "sketchy-ness" of their ability.
The "shark" is the overly confident guy who doesn't necessarily play to the nines but apparently thinks that he does. he gets jittery when setting up for a shot. pointing with the cue he always feels the need to call every one before he pulls the trigger. More often than not this guy misses and gets upset like he knew exactly what he did to make it not go in and he practices in the corner with a faux ball and table. (a little on the neurotic side)
The "cool cat" player is usually partnered up with the shark. He is the one who makes all the shots clean and calculated. He doesn't speak he just goes to work when the work needs to get done. He never speaks yet just nods his head.
The "retard" is the one who has no friggin clue what the f*ck is going on. they can't tell the cue from their own ass and everytime they hit the balls they yell, "Take that" as the cue ball goes soaring into the air and lands in a passer-bys beer. Then he anounces to everyone that they should probably put on their helmets while playing pool with him. "
|
Published by Meggs: 2:00 AM
|
i updated my journal only about an hour before my gram passed away on monday night. i suppose in the back of my mind i knew it would be the last time i would see her and hear her voice. i honor you my dear lady.
"Cig-Regret"
I came across a box of candy cigarettes last night at the bottom of the toy chest. Resting alongside the broken plastic teacup and the headless G.I. Joe figurine, it cracked my memory wide open.
Squatting behind the old stonewall, hidden by the flowering dogwood tree we opened the new pack. The logo gracing the side panel captivated our attention, like a moth to a flame. We felt so mature with a hint of child-like deviance. The first stick was gently plucked from its resting place with complete intricacy. Carefully it was placed into my mouth making sure I not wet the end too much. We all crouched with eyes bulging and mouths drooling. “Well? Go ahead,” Jimmy barked. I inhaled and then let out a big puff puff and out came the cloud. “WOW! Let us try now!” the box was snatched from my clutches, yet I sat content with my newfound sophistication. As the others mimicked my demonstration, I began to remember back to when I was four.
My gram sat quietly in the kitchen having a smoke. I stood and observed her for a few moments until she was made aware of my presence. “Come here for a minute meggs,” she gestured. I hesitantly inched toward her, deathly afraid in the process.
I feared my gram as a young child because she was very outspoken and crass. Yet now that I look back I realized how amazingly loving and funny she was. She had no problem with cussing at or flipping the bird to passing motorists. She was neither like my mother nor my father, so her demeanor was never fully understood or appreciated until many years later.
Her hand outstretched with a cancer stick tweezed between her index and middle finger. “Open up,” she said. I really had no reservations because anything that my gram told me to do, I did. As I closed my lips around the smoking barrel, she directed me to inhale. In one breath the cigarette came rocketing out and fell to the floor. Choking and gasping for a cleansing breath, she lifted my chin and peered into my eyes with the utmost sincerity and conviction and exclaimed, “That’s what smoking is like don’t EVER let me catch you doing it.”
A wave of guilt soon befell me. I have betrayed her, I thought to myself. Not literally but I felt a sense of enjoyment from faking the actions. The wrapper turned soggy and began to unravel. I took it from my mouth and studied it. I then looked to my peers who seemed to be in their own world. I knew that this would not be the last time they would crouch behind the old stonewall behind the flowering dogwood tree. Next time it could be the real thing.
I never did try smoking again thanks my gram. However to watch her suffer as she does makes me sad that no one knew then what we know so well now. She dies a slow death everyday. Now she, choking and gasping for cleansing breaths, regrets every breath she ever took.
What in heaven’s name were these companies thinking? Even after the surgeon general issued the warning these disgusting reminders of death sat among the Skittles, and the Reese’s peanut butter cups for children to purchase and practice with. I lay on my floor last night just turning the box over and over again. The more I looked at it the more angered I became. Why parents would even consider buying such an item is beyond my comprehension. Thankfully this promise of maturity and grace will be archived forever in the depths of our memory.
This is my grammy's reality, her fate. cigarettes have taken away her golden years and have now given her a death sentence. i sit by her side holding her hand as she struggles for air and cry. the end is near and although i know she is ready to leave us to see her husband and family again, we are not ready for her to go so soon. death is inevitable for all of us, but never easy to come to grips with. she has been my mentor, my hero and my best friend. you have taught me so many things in life but truly the most important thing you taught me was how to be myself. For this and many other things I thank you. You are one light that will always shine bright in my sky. We all love you very much.
Helen Oliver priceless quotes:
When asked if she wanted a beer..."I've given it up, but I don't know why?"
"I only have one beer a day...right after my morning coffee." As she called it her "chaser."
Uncle Paul the loud obnoxious Italian New Yorker: "I keep a plunger in every bathroom."
Gram:"Hey is that b/c you're full of sh*t?"
|
Published by Meggs: 2:00 AM
|
dave birnie describing his affinity for his relfection in his mirror:
omb: oh wait it was my mirror again
omb: so hypontizing
omb: if only these eyes could talk
omb: I'd stare all night
Meggs: ya i am so haute my mirrors keep melting
Meggs: does that happen to you as well?
omb: you need to buy the 23grt glass gauge mirrors
omb: they still melt but you get a few extra looks.
omb: not to mention a nice warp affect
omb: it's a win win
|
Published by Meggs: 2:00 AM
|
"TELL ME YOUR NAME!"
The other day I go to the dentist for a swollen wisdom tooth. I went to the counter and they greeted me with a, "Hello Meghan, we'll be with you in just a moment." I have a seat and reach for a People Magazine. Only a minute after opening the tattered 5 month old mag a woman dressed in her best scrubs comes waltzing through the glistening stain glass door. "Come on in Meghan", she motions with a pearly white grin.
This is the part of the story that gets me everytime.
For years I have been going to Dr. Bloom, and for years I have been greeted by dental hygenists in blue and white scrubs, and not once not even once did any of these people ever tell me their name! They act as if they have known you forever, when all they did was look at your chart to see how old you are and who your family members are. Then the proceed to ask you how things are going and how your brother is. Just who do these people think they are fooling? I would love it if a came in and they would be like, "Hi my name is so and so. How are you?" But NOOOOOOOOOO they have to "pretend" to know you and act as if they really give a sh*t.
Not only do they pull this act but did you ever notice that when you are at your worst, say when you have your mouth full of mr. sucky and flouride, they always feel the need to ask you questions. "What are you doing for work now?" You reply, "gnuah uh uh gnuah uh na." THEN they are like, "Oh really? that's great!" Like they know what the f*ck I said...I sure didn't.
I must say that they are always very cheerful and at a place like the dentist office where many people feel uneasy, they do their best to always make their patients feel comfortable. Not to mention the fact that b/c they are so nice and I don't have any dental insurance, I recived xrays and a consult on my wisdom tooth free. Next time I go ladies, JUST TELL ME YOUR NAME!
|
Published by Meggs: 2:00 AM
|
Final
Tampa Bay 2
Calgary 1
until next season...
|
Published by Meggs: 2:00 AM
|
Can I just say how much I love phone interviews...
There is nothing like sitting on your couch waiting for the phone to ring, knowing that you cannot see the person's reaction to anything you have to say. Not only is that frustrating but having a 1 second delay sucks that much more. To me it's nothing but whoring oneself out and coming up with the brownest nose ever. "Oh I love your company for such and such reasons...Oh I would be so proud to work for your company because of blah blah blah..."
It's not that I am necessarily lying it's just that I feel like they can see right through me. I feel more in control when the interview is person to person. There is so much one can convey with their body and especially there eyes. I found myself speaking to the leg of the coffee table as if it were the interviewer and I was smiling and using hand gestures to make my point more convincing. But he couldn't see a damn thing.
It always amazes me how many different ways they can ask virtually the same question and you have to rack your brain as to what new and appealing way can I answer it this time. I think that he asked me about 5 different times why I thought I was the right person for the job. Or what made you chose this job? Or What things appealed to you when reading the description?
One thing I can say in defense of the phone interview is that you can prepare your answers to many different potential questions and quickly reference them on your notepad as they arise.
Next week I will have the ups and downs to group interviews...so stay tuned.
|
Published by Meggs: 2:00 AM
|
|
|
