I am selling a Kass pro model 03/04 go check it out in my content section.
"Primal Scream Therapy"
If you have never tried it I suggest you start today! In the comfortable confines of your car or the fluffy sanctity of your pillow you can do it almost anywhere. Of course it all depends upon if you want others to hear. They might be human enough to call the cops. But in this day and age that is probably not going to happen.
Senario: You have had the week from hell. Your checks bounced, your bf or gf broke up with you or you have had an itchy ass all week and it just won't go away. This is when primal scream therapy will do wonders for you and your sanity.
Simply find the place you feel most comfortable and let er rip. Scream as loud and as annoying as you possibly can. Laugh if it makes feel good as well. I find that it helps to giggle and clap my hands simultaniously.
If this doesn't help I suggest you punch someone in the face. That also helps quite a bit.
|
Published by Meggs: 2:00 AM
|
I am selling a Kass pro model 03/04 go check it out in my content section.
In keeping with the gym theme...
"Newbies guide of what NOT to do"
It occured to me yesterday how inexperienced people are when it comes to working out. It's not hard to notice the newbies in their attempts at belated new years resolutions or summer slim downs. It's like watching a car crash of sorts. Strolling up the stairs to the plethera of machines, they come dressed in their most "proper" attire. In yesterdays case, a gentleman in his skin tight, vintage eighties, nautical flag print swim trunks.
The cute little Brazilian couple who have obviously never been on a treadmill before gave quite a display. On their approach I knew that they were virgins. Not even so much as a preceeding warm up, they hopped on the contraption looking quite perplexed as to how to even turn it on. He, reached over to hers and pressed play on the magic carpet. She, terrified began running aka clomping like a clidesdale at 1.6. For those of you who are as lost as they apparently were, 1.6 is about the speed of a drunk snail on his worst day. He immediately turned to me and through the gap in between his two front teeth hissed in laughter, muttering something in portuguese. The husband works through his laughter and begins his machine and again, without any warm up shoots stright to 7.2 which in my estimation is approximately the same speed as Wilt Chamberlain at a full sprint. This man was about 5ft 6" so he looked like a midget running from a tornado. Needless to say he lasted at that speed for about 2 mins before he almost collapsed in utter exhaustion.
While this disaster unfolded before me and my stationary bike, an old man in his jeans boat shoes and Members Only jacket drops about 250 pounds of weight on the floor to my right sending a wave of startle through the room.
You can always tell a newbie by the way that they watch you while you are on a particular machine. Then as soon as you move onto another one, they slither in and try their hand at it. Of course they never adjust the contraption to accomdate their height or weight, they just simply don't know how. So they try and squeeze themselves into the seat that has obviously been adjusted to fit the frame of someone half their size and do about 20 repetitions of twice the weight they should.
If one ever cares to join a gym for the pure entertainment factor, may I suggest that one do so around the start of the new year. You will most likely never be let down for a good show.
|
Published by Meggs: 2:00 AM
|
Wednesday, April 14, 2004
I am selling a Kass pro model 03/04 go check it out in my content section.
you know what's funny?
Going to the gym and getting hit on by 40 year old men who can't figure out that the eliptcal machines are in kilos. Then then try and act all sly and ask you if you know how to use them. Even though you do know, you would rather play dumb and continue on with your workout. However, men, though I don't like to admit this, can sometimes be cleaver creatures and manipulate the conversation in such a way that even when having been rejected, can continue to hit on you.
"So, you must be new here," he retorts. "No I have been a member for a long time." "Oh well I have never seen you before." (Ya great I don't give a flying f*ck buddy.) "Oh I dunno then." As I do my best to turn away. "I thought you were going to break that bike you were going so fast." At this point I am thinking ok loser first of all you are at least 15 years older than me. AND you have the WORST lines I have ever witnessed. I stood there in an awkward silence and just said, "Well I gotta go enjoy your workout."
No sooner do I walk down the stairs to the lobby does a middle-aged man in his mid 50's also make a pathetic attempt at picking me up stating that his wife doesn't like to come to the gym b/c she doesn't care to see other people sweat while working out. Uh ya ok like I REALLY want to hear this.
After I leave the gym I make a stop at the supermarket to pick up some yogurt. As I meander down the international foods isle I hear a knock knock from behind. A little boy sits patiently in the top seat of the cart eyes wide and grinning. "Who's there?" I question. "No one just me I like to say knock knock." I smile and turn my gaze to the father. Oh my what a nice looking father you have, I was thinking. He stood about 6'2" with shaggy dark brown hair. I told the little boy he was very handsome. Taken back by my willingness to converse with his son he smiles and says, "Say thank you to the nice woman."
I waved goodbye to my new friend in the cart and carried on with my mission. I heard the father who was in his early thirties say, "Oh I forgot to get some milk." Little do you know he followed me to the dairy setion. When I found my item I left and made my way to the check out. Not even 2 minutes post my getting in line does the father and son slowly creep up on me and stand at the end cap of cheese-its while checking off things on thier list. I noticed the duo glancing my way as I exited the store.
It must be the new haircut.
|
Published by Meggs: 2:00 AM
|
"Armor"
Your canopy falls over me.
no warning
The darkness envelopes me like a caskett on my funeral day.
Attempts for air prove futile,
Until your lips breath new life into mine.
no warning
I am complacent now in your coat of armor
Hold me til we fall away.
TO: IMACOMPUTER
FROM: WOODWORK
What's the matter, was it time for a Starbucks heart to heart w/ Meggs Saturday night? Maybe a Scrabble marathon. Or were you baking cookies?
|
Published by Meggs: 2:00 AM
|
It is no longer my birthday but miss livi's (alpenmuffin). even though we are finally not so far away we are not able to celebrate our birthday's together this year like we had hoped. she is a beautiful woman inside and out and i am so honored to have her as my friend. please go to her profile and wish her a very happy birthday.
|
Published by Meggs: 2:00 AM
|
hApPy BiRfDaY tO mE!!!
I am sweet 16 today everyone! YAY!
too bad my day started off with a flat tire and my back STILL killing me from stress. bah humbug.
Last night Dave (imacomputer)and I went on a mission to find "GHETTO ACTIVITY" in Mattapan AKA Murderpan. For those of you who are not from the Boston area Mattapan is the spot. Just south of Boston this fine town dones a liquor store every 50 ft and cheaper gas than Jamaica Plain or any of the other city neighborhoods. But as I look at it, the cheaper the gas, the more likely I am to be shot stabbed or robbed. It's certainly a trade off worth thinking about for sure.
I knew that we would fit right in with my black RAV4 with black tinted, (yes I said tinted) windows. We knew we were"Ghetto-looking" in my RAV especially since we were two White as f*ck kids from N. Andover and Holliston. Dave and I were on a mission to get in touch with our "Inner GHETTO". We drove around for two hours trying to find "GHETTO-NESS" but all we found were sketchy bums at intersections waiting to get hit by a passing vehicle. We thought, well maybe the rain was the leading factor in there not being any "GHETTO ACTIVITY" at midnight in Murderpan. So we tried Dorchester and Roxbury but to no avail we could not find one thing. I saw a kid with a mean afro on route 28 does that count?
At this point we came to terms with the fact that our mission was to left unfulfilled. Our hopes and dreams of becoming one with Murderpan were dashed as we entered Beantown once again. Just then Dave had a lightbulb! He suggested that we venture over to Chinatown and look for hookers. YA! That was the answer! ASIAN HOOKERS! HOW INGENIUS! We slipped in some Manitoba and off we went dodging pot hole after lovely pot hole.
In no time we found ourselves amongst Ah So clean dry cleaners and Tu Young Guy exotic sex toy shops. Narrow street after narrow street we searched with only a glimpse of a possiblity in one of the doorways. "There! There is one, I think? I dunno." It could have been a man for all we know being that the rain was coming down like tickertape in Times Square on NYE.
As we rounded the last corner of little China we lost all faith. This was not going to be the night of "GHETTO ACTIVITY" and ASAIN HOOKERS we had so deperately hoped for. Fortunately, we have faith. Until then we will wait for warmer weather in order to continue our quest for such fine displays of human interaction.
|
Published by Meggs: 2:00 AM
|
|
|
