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Views: 1121
Logged in: Feb 03, 2008
Visited: Feb 03, 2008
Joined: Aug 27, 2003
Core Since: N/A

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Female, 22, Van, Texas, United States


OFFLINE and currently


Karma:
 






















About Me 

Visit my myspace. I'm on there more often!  www.myspace.com/icstarz73

Recent Gallery Photos ( All Galleries)

Recent Blog Post  (View Recent Posts)

My Journal: Wednesday, June 30, 2004
March 24, 2004
I'm sitting here not knowing what to do now. I just keep searching, asking, seeking, and he seems no where to be found. Why am I left here to tend to myself? Why do I feel like I have to search for all the answers myself? I've asked. I've searched. I've seeked. And it feels like there is nothing left to do. So I sit here and wait. For what? I don't know. For how long? Until his timing is right.
What must I do with these feelings I have, with these thoughts and emotions just over flowing in me? I sleep, but all I want to do is cry. Cry until he hears me, cry until he answers me, cry until its over. But I can't. Why? Afraid it will all come revealed. Years of hurt, years of asking "where were you when I needed you most?"
I'm here day after day reading the map, week after week studying the grid of perfection. I talk to you even when I feel like you're not listening. I come to you when nobody else understands, tear by tear you hear what I am going through, even before the mouth speaks.
Why don't you talk to me like you talked to Gideon? Like you showed Abraham, why am I to be the different one? Speak to me! Speak to me like you spoke to Noah, walk with me like you walked with Adam, humble me like you humbled Job, and answer me like you answer everyone else. I want nothing more than to be with you, be with you like Jesus was on the side of the mountain. To be intimate with you before I move one step in life. Show me the way you have planned for me. Show me the road you want me to take. Guide me, along your paths of righteousness and joy. Equip me with your sword and armor. Put me in battle ready to fight.
I'm here unholy, shameful, deceitful, selfish, unworthy of your love, yet I ask for forgiveness, cleansing from the only one who can give it. Love that only you can show. Lord, I pray that you would show me what your will is. Lord help me see you in a way nobody else has. Show me that you love me and you are waiting on me, that you're there even when I am saying "where are you when I need you the most?" Lord answer me!
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Published by ICStarz73: 2:00 AM

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30s, Cape Town, Western Cape, ZA
Karma: OFFLINE

  
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This comment was left by a Core Member
Posted on Jun 07, 2007
OFFLINE Karma:
From:  Sean_H
30s, Cape Town, Western Cape, ZA

Still looking good, just come over here and marry me, then take me back to the States with you. Deal?



I'm not an alcoholic, I'm a drunk, alcoholics go to meetings.
*
Why is the rum always gone?

This comment was left by a Core Member
Posted on Apr 14, 2007
OFFLINE Karma:
From:  Sean_H
30s, Cape Town, Western Cape, ZA
Hey there good looking like the new pics! so, whats news?


I'm not an alcoholic, I'm a drunk, alcoholics go to meetings.
*
Why is the rum always gone?

This comment was left by a Core Member
Posted on Mar 03, 2007
OFFLINE Karma:
From:  Sean_H
30s, Cape Town, Western Cape, ZA
yea, I cancelled my space account, didn't have time to maintain it, it has taken me years to get my snowboard profile to where it is today, anyway, talk to you again soon, gotta run.


I'm not an alcoholic, I'm a drunk, alcoholics go to meetings.
*
Why is the rum always gone?

This comment was left by a Core Member
Posted on Sep 27, 2006
OFFLINE Karma:
From:  Sean_H
30s, Cape Town, Western Cape, ZA
Found another internet cafe that is letting me post on sb.com, so yea, just sent you an email saying I like the pic of you with the long hair, you look good!


I'm not an alcoholic, I'm a drunk, alcoholics go to meetings.
*
Why is the rum always gone?

Posted on May 29, 2006
OFFLINE Karma:
From: Jesgirl
31, White Haven, Pennsylvania, US
Hey there Sean's friend  Thanks for stopping by.

Your photo album is awesome.  What an incredible life journey you have had.  That is so cool that your parents have given you the most precious gift of all, and that gift is the gift of travel, adventure, experience.  It's priceless and I had to find it on my own, my parents never took me anywhere!! 

BTW....I love Oklaholma!  I got to spend some time there when we were doing a gig in Texas.  I would like to go back and actually get to hang out.  We were kinda just passing through.


"I told myself I wouldn't miss you"

This comment was left by a Core Member
Posted on Sep 01, 2005
OFFLINE Karma:
From:  Sean_H
30s, Cape Town, Western Cape, ZA
Just replied to your Yahoo address......oh, yea, maybe I forgot your birthday....um, I was at the snack bar when your dad mentioned it.....I felt bad, really, I did....


I'm not an alcoholic, I'm a drunk, alcoholics go to meetings.
*
Why is the rum always gone?

This comment was left by a Core Member
Posted on Aug 28, 2005
OFFLINE Karma:
From:  Sean_H
30s, Cape Town, Western Cape, ZA
Add to previous comment below: I often drank without eating a meal anyway, along with countless other rebel crew.


I'm not an alcoholic, I'm a drunk, alcoholics go to meetings.
*
Why is the rum always gone?

This comment was left by a Core Member
Posted on Aug 28, 2005
OFFLINE Karma:
From:  Sean_H
30s, Cape Town, Western Cape, ZA
Happy birthday!! sorry I forgot to send a message sooner, was busy preparing for my move to CT.
Now I'm in Cape Town, I just know I'm going to like it here. Firstly, much more living space, and freedom, something the ship was lacking. Ha, now I can sit in a bar and have a beer without a meal!! especially when the ship is right here in C....I plan to drink in the bar closest to the ship! about 100 ft away. Ya, I'm done with the ship, moving on to a another life. Howz your life going right now? Mines looking good.


I'm not an alcoholic, I'm a drunk, alcoholics go to meetings.
*
Why is the rum always gone?

This comment was left by a Core Member
Posted on Jun 28, 2005
OFFLINE Karma:
From:  Sean_H
30s, Cape Town, Western Cape, ZA
Um, 'firking' is just a subtle way of saying......fu...ing...you know what I mean.
Those pics 'photo of the year' are not mine, my sister emailed them to me, I have no idea where she got them from, I just thought they where cool. We'll be docking in Cape Town tomorrow, Wednesday, for fuel only, no one gets off, the ship. We can look, but we can't touch, Table Mountain, at least not now. We arrive East London Friday lunch time, however, I have connections in Cape Town who will be bringing me and the other 3 South Africans onboard a burger from this restaurant www.spur.co.za yummmmayy!!


I'm not an alcoholic, I'm a drunk, alcoholics go to meetings.
*
Why is the rum always gone?

This comment was left by a Core Member
Posted on Jun 22, 2005
OFFLINE Karma:
From:  Sean_H
30s, Cape Town, Western Cape, ZA
You stopped by and no comment? anyway, we are at sea now, finally. No major problems so far and I hope it stays that way, I NEED to get to South Africa, if it's just for 1 thing it will be for the foooood!!! I'm firking starving.


I'm not an alcoholic, I'm a drunk, alcoholics go to meetings.
*
Why is the rum always gone?

This comment was left by a Core Member
Posted on Jun 05, 2005
OFFLINE Karma:
From:  Sean_H
30s, Cape Town, Western Cape, ZA
You where just profile hopped! Yep, I'm bored out of my skull right now......I'm counting the days, maybe I should stop counting, that might be why the time is dragging......as you can see in the pic in my sig, they have started making snow already, hopefully they will have covered both slopes by the time I get there. I'll be taking a bus to Johannesburg to visit the family, then renting a car in JoBurg and driving it back to East London stopping at the resort to bum on the slopes for a few days, I could use a long solo road trip.


I'm not an alcoholic, I'm a drunk, alcoholics go to meetings.
*
Why is the rum always gone?

Posted on Jul 26, 2004
ONLINE Karma:
From: tommylee413
21, priest river, Idaho, US
hey what's up haven't heard from you in a while anywasy lol just stoppin by to see how things were goin well talk to ya l8r
Posted on Jul 17, 2004
ONLINE Karma:
From: d-ang-er
25, honolulu, Hawaii, US
I hear you. sometimes reading good books help. Anything that can help you gain perspective outside of the bubble world it can sometimes be. I really liked a book called "blue like Jazz" I forget the author, but if you searched it, should come up. It is a great look at Jesus spirituality outside of the context we have built for it. It was a super refreshing read for me. I also go to www.relevantmagazine.com for inspiration. Hope I can encourage you, and help you get some perspective. Peace Ang
Posted on Jul 12, 2004
ONLINE Karma:
From: d-ang-er
25, honolulu, Hawaii, US
hey I was just flying through and I started reading your journal. That's some heavy stuff, but I've been there. Wrestling with God. Growth never comes easy, it always hurts, I hope these last weeks have been better.
Faith eh? it's a wild ride. So hard to explain or figure out. If you ever want to talk about it, I'm game. Peace Ang
Posted on May 21, 2004
OFFLINE Karma:
From: mohkmo1
27, where it snows, California, US
huh....good sh*t...live on a ship...doesnt sound like fun..but ya never know....things are gt...over here...play play play...n u
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