So yet again last night My friends and I were at the bar drinking and this was a conversation I had with a great friend of mine that spawned this next drunken rant...... Enjoy!
Ah the One Night Stand. The Hump and Dump.
Love ‘Em and Leave ‘Em. Stick it in her Without the Dinner. Once the
past time of slimeballs and a**holes, this hobby has been experiencing
a new wave of participation. But not, as you may think, by men. Women
are now taking control of this once all male sport.
Example- A few months ago I met a guy who
moistened my interest. He was strutting around acting like he was all
that and had a bag of Doritos in his back pocket. Now if there is one
thing I can’t stand it’s a guy who talks the talk, but his cock goes
limp at the thought of a little slap and tickle. So I dared him to put
his cock where his eyes kept looking. And like any dog you put a little
meat in front of his face and he starts humping your leg like he owns
you and starts talkin' about feelings and forever and blah, blah, blah.
Apparently he just didn’t understand that all I was interested in was
getting his cock in my mouth for a little bit, and that was it.
So we went to my place and after one hour and
three orgasms (all his) I was done. I got out of bed, got dressed and
told him to get out. I will never forget the look of wide-eyed surprise
on his face and the words he so tenderly mumbled "Huh…what? I thought
we could talk."
After repeating myself several times and
throwing his clothes at him, I finally got his ass out of my bed. The
whole time I’m walkin’ his butt out my door he keeps askin’ for my
phone number and when he’s gonna see me again. As far as I’m concerned
he should have been thanking god that he just got the blowjob of a
lifetime and didn’t even have to "cuddle". I hate cuddling.
When a man initiates a one-night stand with a
woman he’s a stud. When a woman does it, she’s a slut. Look around you,
there are a lot more sluts these days. Why? Because in this day and age
nobody has time for the rest of the shi*t that usually comes with the
opposite sex. All this talking and getting in touch with each other’s
feelings just doesn’t hold a candle to a paycheck or a stiff drink, and
those are the things to take time getting.
Now if you’re smart, you can turn this to your
advantage. Just think of it, you get suckin' and f*ckin', and don’t
have to ever meet her mother. What could be better than that? If your
really looking for a relationship with a girl, you know that the woman
you just bought four tequila shooters for and already her panties are
lying in the bed of your truck, is not Ms Right. But if you’re man
enough she sure as hell is ready to be Ms Right now. So buck up big boy
and let that little lady use and abuse you then throw your ass out of
her house. And in the morning mix that Bloody Mary and thank god for
the emancipation of women.
