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BurtonTroop151

My Blog

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Wow, two months since the last blog. Summer vacation is already 1/4 of the way done:( Things got a little better last month, but now it's back to the same old crap. I am starting to wonder if I really am like crazy Meredith Grey or the insecure Peyton Sawyer. Which is another thing; I watch way too much TV...go to work, come home, watch TV. Nothing better to do without any friends or guys in the picture. SOO today...well, let's back up. So the guy has actually been online all this week; back from his hiatus since last fall. Anyways, I thought I'd comment on his away message and ask how he was, even though I haven't spoken to him since last fall nor seen him in almost a year and a half. So writing all this after the fact seems kinda stupid because he never replied. Go figure, Amy, get over it! Like I'll ever get to see him again anyway; let alone have a real conversation. So to sum it all up - Crap...guess I shouldn't have done that...but maybe I was trying to take that one LAST shot.

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Published by BurtonTroop151: 9:27 PM
Updated On: 5/23/2008 at 11:29 PM

Nobody's Listening

Thursday, March 27, 2008

So I never really understood why people blog. Is it remaining anonymous while one delves their deepest secrets to anyone who may seem to surf on by? I've recently come to the conclusion that there is no one to talk to except God. I should be taking this opportunity to fully rely on Him, but it still does not make a lonely life easy. I have come to terms with the fact that I am an angry/bitter person - I have worked so hard to do better than the people of my past. To most, it may seem like I am doing well for myself, but I know all to well that it is lonely at the top. I have almost given up on making any friends in this new city. Why try when everyone leaves me high and dry when something better comes along. People back home seem so happy for and proud of the people I have come to despise. Yet at the same time no one can acknowledge how far I have come. No support just makes continuing school even more difficult, but I don't have any better options at this point. But why work so hard and not enjoy life?? I expect to have to support myself for the rest of my life - alone. I have tried and tried and tried to get people to notice me, yet all to no avail. The dating world has not been good to me. In high school, he was a cheater. The one in college, he was a molester. I still have dreams about the one that got away (Ha). It seems highly unlikely that I will ever be the girl who got all she ever dreamed of but maybe at least a nice big empty house. Only time will tell.

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Published by BurtonTroop151: 10:06 PM
Updated On: 5/23/2008 at 11:30 PM

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BurtonTroop151

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Oops I Did It Again

Friday, May 23, 2008

Nobody's Listening

Thursday, March 27, 2008

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