if you only had of known!!

She's slowly fading away
But nobody listens anymore
To anything she has to say
She screams a silent roar

She says what is beauty now?
When these eyes are full of tears
But I've still got hope somehow
That this crying will reach your ears

Can you see behind these lies?
When I say that I'm okay
This is such a thin disguise
Wearing this smile every day

Can you see beyond our past?
All the memories we won't let go
All the hope that just won't last
All the parts of you I'll never know

And she says sorry for living
But God won't hear her prayers
Angels are so unforgiving
Behind those cold blank stares

We all have lives we've planned
But what's life if we're living alone?
The letter in her bloody hand
Says "if only you had known…"

His heart is slowly sinking
As she's lowered in her grave
And all the while he's thinking
It's another life he couldn't save

He says if only I was brave,
If only this heart were not my own
As he lays the rose on her grave
He says "if only you had known…"

love,love,love

i know you dont love me
but... i still love you
so dont go changing
because im still in love with you,
so take what im saying
and put it in your heart,
so dont go changing
and tear me apart.
so understand me i need you to know that deep down low i think about you non stop.

ashamed of myself i f*cked up and i want to take it all back rewind and just wish i would have never done it,

i have something to tell you but im too scared what you'll say ,

iv been bad for the past threee days, i not eatin in 3 days or havent had sleep either and you'll probually have a good guess,

iv lied to myself and everyone else around me all iv done is wanting to party try to get my mind off you and have a good time,

now its new yrs even and im sitting at home very sick and tired im rlly scared cuz im confused and dont know what to do,

iv went too far this time and i dont think i can save myself this time ,

i yell for help no one heres me and im about to fall and passout,

i feel week inside and my body burns and aches i hate it cuz i dont know what i do and what it is thats making me feel like this,

i need help soon before something bad happens and i mayfall asleep and not awake myself i may be dead after this,

im rlly scared i cant even think my brains lost and cant get back were it belongs its like it jumped out of my head and willl never come back,

my bodies numb and stomach is sick i hate this feeling becuase it makes me feel like shi*t,

all im asking is for help soon from someone i cant tell my dad becuase hell kill me,

i feel paralized cant move my legs and barley my arms just shoot me now so i dont have to suffer,

iv done a bad drug with crystals that tell me its all okay ,

i smoke it and all it makes me wanna say is ill be fine and the next day my bodys worn out and cant move anymore,

praying to god tis wont be my last day ,

everytime i shut my eyes can rlly see the light i have a big feeling this will be my lastnight so if it is please keep this in mind i love you and will always willl so please dont give up on yourself..

f*ck your ideals. f*ck everything you believe in. Its lies, all lies, Just like you. Thinking you were so high and mighty floating above us on a magic carpet of false pretenses, half truths, and looking straight in the eye lies. Soon you'll find that the magic carpet ride is over. Falling threw the air, You'll find that there's no one to help you. You've worn out your welcome and pissed on the lawn. Acted like a punk and pissed people off. You really think you'd get away with this? f*ck you, This battles on!

Secrets can hurt
Secrets can scare
Secrets can drive
Someone to far
Everyone has secrets
Some aren't so bad
Others can kill and make
A sane girl go mad.

"Unknown"
Purity once had a name,
And beauty once had a face.
Life once had a meaning,
And once I was safe.
Once there was freedom,
And once I could laugh.
Happiness once was alive,
And once I had another half.
Once I shared her love,
Once I was by his side,
Once I felt I fitted,
So quickly that died.
his grace so great,
His beauty so vast,
All I ever wanted,
Was for it to last.
Fate maybe had another plan,
Or maybe he had another love,
But it all fell apart,
The hand too big for the glove.
Now it's all died away,
Happiness, joy, love; all memories.
Now I walk alone in this dark, dark world,
With no light to guide my way.


"Cutting"
Silence
Only tears
As I press the blade
Against my pale skin
Red
The blood flows
From the wounds
Echoing my inner pain
Satisfaction
As I feel the knife
Slicing into me
I only deserve pain
Anguish
As I realize what I've done
I feel accomplishment
As I gaze at the marks upon my skin
Stares
People are horrified
Don't understand why
Neither do I


"Du Hast Mich"
I could have held you all night long,
I could have laid next to you forever,
But then I know tomorrow soon would come,
And still we couldn't be together . . .
I went against what my head was saying,
and followed my heart through,
And instead of quitting while I was ahead,
I started falling in love with you
We had so much fun together,
the memories we made so great,
all those nights laughing and smiling,
staying up so late.
As the snow falls on the sidewalks,
I know this too will pass,
for feelings are like the seasons changing,
and one season never lasts.
So, I know this must stop now,
and tomorrow soon will come,
as we walk away and never look back,
as our warm feelings become numb.


"Tears of an angle"
My guardian angel, once careless and free,
flew into the clouds and lost touch with me.
Her tears were cold and wet, falling on my face.
Her smile had left us without a trace.
Her angelic lips quivered, frozen and scared,
I felt rain clouds visiting, and had to prepare.
I knew that angels, often content,
were very special presents that God had sent.
To see one so sad,
so afraid,
so alone,
had made me weep while the cold winds had blown.
Her wings lost feathers,
comforting and soft,
falling from the stars,
floating aloft.
Her pain was felt throughout the land,
to feel true misery is impossible to stand.
I prayed so that when her hurting stops,
I'll be able to taste the angel's teardrops.

During sleepless nights
I pretend that the past isn't real
It brings back how I used to feel
So much sadness in my hopeless life
Never knew things would change so fast

You're not here and I'm alone
Trying to runaway from this pain that has grown
I feel so empty now that you're gone
There's so much crying; I feel like dying

This one is for you
And these words aren't brand new
Though it's coming from the heart

Thank you for the life you've given me
Thank you for the hope; I'm finally free
You'll always be in my mind
Cross my heart, hope to die
I never will forget you

During sleepless nights and endless dreams
I hope one day you'll visit me
Just like it was planned to be
So that day you'll finally see

I can't go on without you
I hope this wish will come true
These words inside my heart
Stay in there till we're apart
Feel these tears coming in my eyes
I try not to cry
I'll try
This shooting pain in my eyes
Can't hold it anymore

You're gone; you walked away
These feelings went away
Now I'm colder than the ocean breeze
Now you're too far gone
Please stay with me.

And then I understood that's how it ends.
You said, "Well, it's much harder than I thought."
I guess it's always easier to lie.
You said, "Well, ask me anything you want."
But I was much too frightened to ask why.
I guess it doesn't matter why we failed,
Or why I love you after what you've done,
Or why the harshest truths must be unveiled
After the last train has come and gone.
I miss you and I love you, even though
What happened lies too deep for me to know.