since my grand parents died christmas has kind of lost its sparkle it was their holiday we went over to their house and opened presents and grandma always got me just what i wanted and on christmas she was so happy so was my grandfather the were so full of life now that my other grandparents live near us we go over ther but now it feels like we are bastardizing the holiday last year i got five hats i don't need that many and make up i don't wear any makeup except if i buy it myself rouge lipstick come on i like burts bees chapstick and maybe a lip gloss but of course i smile and say thank you and in a week drop it off at a second hand store or give it to some little kid let there mother deal with rouge lipstick.
i just wish that they didn't try to recreat the past its enough that i think about my deceased grandparents every christmas i just wish that they would ask me what i wanted because they don't have the gift my grandmother had of just knowing (she knew because she knew me we went shopping together and just spent time together) my other grandparents barely talk to me but to make sure that i am not depressed and that i am being busy.  but i will smile and i will say thankyou and wait for another christmas to pass and who knows maybe this year won't be so bad



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Published by 360double: 3:08 PM
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